Alternative Site

At long last, Britishland is building a new (and large) prison somewhere in Yorkshire.  Predictably, all the NIMBYs are screaming and shouting because “eyesore”, “ugly” and so on.

This is the kind of thing that drives me mad.  On the one hand, it’s obvious to even the most stupid people (e.g.  liberals) that Britain needs MOAR PRISONS because MOAR CRIMINALS.  However, why build the thing in Yorkshire (which is quite pretty, in parts)?  With about ten minutes’ search, I found a far better location:  the (uninhabited) island of North Rona.  Here’s where it is on the map:

…and here’s what it looks like:

Yup:  over 200 acres of fuck-all, what better place to house criminals?  Remote, cold, windy… hell, on second thoughts why build a prison at all?  Tents, that’s the thing.  Arizona sheriff Joe Arpaio and a dozen Mexicans would have them up in a few hours, job done, ship a couple thousand convicted criminals in (I’m thinking bastards like this one) and wave good-bye.  Don’t even need prison guards, so ongoing savings.

You can be damn sure that the mortality rate would allow for fresh shipments of assholes on a monthly basis, when the food supplies* are brought in.

And when the liberals start their predictable squealing about Krool & Hartless Treatment Of Misunderstood Yoofs… we substitute them for the criminals.

All in favor, say “Aye”…

*Bread, water, dog food, you get my drift.


  1. How about the island that the British government bombed with anthrax back during WW2? When I was teaching Hazmat years back I remember stories that the place was still “hot”.

  2. All of this would be completely unnecessary if they just renovated the Albert Pierrepoint suite at H.M.P. Pentonville, and re-opened it for business.

  3. The only thing I would add is, no tents, and any supplies be dropped by air-parachute, to reduce the risk to outsiders. Same with new “attendees” drop em by air. Now THAT is what I call banishment. Low cost to taxpayers, permanent deterrent to future criminals, what’s not to like?

    One more thing. My “deterrent to future criminals” caused me to rethink. Some how install a few live vidcams to stream the day to day goings on on that Isle of Horror and have it available on a website. The viewing of cannibalism, graphic murders, gang rapes, and such can have a powerful influence. And some way to prevent outside retards from accessing the isle for any reason.

      1. hmm, don’t think ghostsniper does.
        Now if he’s proposed letting loose packs of wild dingos and hyenas, THAT’d go too far as it’d be cruelty to animals to let them loose amidst those criminals.

  4. “But we’re civilized!!” Maybe, but the goblins aren’t.

    One way to stay civilized is to remove the worst from among us. Since the Brits won’t bring back the scaffold, North Rona seems to be the kinder, gentler solution.

  5. Sort of like Britain’s answer to Alcatraz.

    I would also suggest the Royal Navy routinely patrol the perimeter of the island with the understanding any vessels approaching the island would be summarily sunk.

    1. minefields and underwater obstacles would do the trick.
      Only need to check on them once in a while to make sure they’ve not been tampered with.

  6. AYE!
    Several times I have seen it suggested, once or twice by Your’s Truly, that we here in the Colonies do likewise, utilizing a little used piece of Aleutian rock called Shemya. It was previously used as an ELINT station and I can personally attest to the distaste for the place. As a Penal Colony it would be magnificent.

    1. Just looked Shemya up on Google Maps and saw this comment in the left column:

      “Shemya would make a top rate prision for the most dangerous fellons (MS 13 gang members)”

  7. But there’s no shelter.
    Air drop bags of cement and instructions ( Lots of Pictures ) .

    There’s no electricity .
    Looks like a great site for a wind farm . Air drop with more pictures and some tools.

    There’s no water…… Island looks pretty green to me. I suspect it rains there a lot ( Sideways but rain never the less) ) Here’s some rain barrels to collect the water.

    1. Yeah, but to keep do-gooders from calling your regime of punishment “cruel and unusual”, we’d have to have lots of them so it would no longer be “unusual”.
      Works for me.

  8. There’s probably some Secret Squirrel stuff there. And no, tents would not be suitable accommodation, especially in winter. Notice that there are no trees there: it gets real windy. I would also not be happy with any mortality rate: miscarriages of justice do occur, but I also know that prisoners can reform and repent and believe they should be given the opportunity to do so. An island is a good idea, but one like Foula would be a lot more convenient for the warders.

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