Comeback Competition #1

In similar vein to the Friday Caption Competition on this website, here’s a new one.

I’m going to post a totally stupid twitter, and you guys create your own comebacks in Comments, thus:

Sample Twit:

Comeback examples:


So here’s the first idiotic twit, for your joyful dismemberment:  

Help yourselves, in Comments.


  1. The only problem I have with guns is that I don’t have enough of them nor enough of the accessories to accommodate them. Other than that, I believe any problems associated with guns in the US is borne by criminals and/or made up by the media/gov’t. IOW, mostly illusory and thus should be ignored. Stay away from places where ne’er do wells congregate and you’ll most likely be OK, but when you leave the compound, none the less, pack multiple heats.

  2. Because 5.56 ammunition fired from a 10″ barrel is much more deadly than the same round fired from a 20″ barrel. I guess all that stuff we learned about muzzle velocity and barrel length is wrong. Glad that I have CNN to set me straight.

    Just about the only factory ammo I buy these days is .22 and Sally World was rarely the cheapest guys in town

  3. If we would make NY and CA actually follow the Constitution, we could easily beat the 45% metric. Let’s get to it or kick them out of America. They aren’t contributing anything.

    1. I remember when Target actually had a real sporting goods section -maybe 30 years ago ;-). I bought a bunch of 12 gauge slugs for about $2 a box at the end of hunting season. Still have some of it. Most normal people don’t shoot a lot of slugs.

      My brother owns a JC Higgins branded 12 gauge pump that he bought in Sears when he turned 18. That’s another sad story relating to your Marks and Spencer post.

  4. Oh Dear Lord. No longer will I be able to do all my shopping in one store. Beer, baby formula, men’s underwear, motor oil, prescriptions, and short-barrel rifle ammo. Damn! Damn it all to hell. Now I’ll have to drive a quarter mile down the road to Academy and look at all the guns and stuff there while buying my ammo. Life is hell here in Texas.

  5. I guess the Walton Kids have taken Obama’s “At some point you’ve earned enough money” to heart. (Although I’d debate the “earned” part of the statement.)

  6. Walmart: @Dick’s Sporting Goods @Gillette Hold my beer and watch this.

    Walmart: How did I get these footprints on my wedding tackle?

    Mark D

  7. And, sadly, The Other Nine Restrictions On Bumblebrats® were ‘gasping on the ropes’, too.

    [sarc off]

    Auto correct re-wrote ‘dadly’ in place of ‘sadly’.
    With the purest of intentions.

    1. Cripes.

      I twitted to the example fake instead of the real fake.
      [‘time-out’ in corner with dunce cap]

      Why should I stop at only one dunce-up?
      The day is young!

  8. And carrying all that metallic weight plus the staggering weight of the accessories such as ammunition and mufflers, Americans are the fittest individuals on this particular planet.

  9. But, fortunately, The Back Ground Checks™ prevent any commonists from getting jobs as government agents.

  10. Agreed.
    On so many levels, as noted in the accompanying graphic, America individuals are eyeing TheWorseningApocalypse as an equal opportunity to ‘service’ a few commonists.

    And by ‘a few’, I honestly truly believe that means ‘a clean slate’.

  11. re:
    “America’s gun problem explained”

    The problem is wimmen working outside the home.
    Government schools.
    Licenses. Taxes. Fees. Permits.
    The inability of folks to embrace traditional American values such as MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

  12. 5% of the world population.
    45% of private owned firearms.
    Zero correlation.

    100% with indoor plumbing.
    Zero correlation.

    Unlimited free libraries.
    Zero correlation.

    Nearly 100% paved roads.
    Zero correlation.

    100% clean drinking water.
    Zero correlation.

    Your premise is 100% flawed.
    You 100% nincompoop.

  13. 5% of the population, buys 95% of the production of the rest of the world. Either everyone’s dream customer or the customer of last resort. Imagine what fraction of a dollar people would have to live on each day in Haiti or Paraguay or Chad or Zimbabwe if America weren’t buying so much stuff from the Dominican Republic or Brazil or wherever

    1. Hi Windy,
      I’m imagining your premise going back to around 1947 or so.

      Combined with zero% foreign aid, this instantly evaporates about 95% of freeloaders, although Onassis and the other shipping tycoons might disagree.

      Can you imagine the price of anything with 95% less population competing for it?

      95% less pollution.
      With 95% less Haitians, the means 95% less ‘Haitian Relief Efforts’ under the guidance of TheClintonCrimeSyndicate.

      95% less busy-bodies whining about shooting ranges.

      And the kicker with the cherry on top:
      95% less folks competing for durable bloomers.

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