Blind Drunk, Blindingly Obvious

From the annals of modern-day !SCIENCE! comes a conclusion from this (undoubtedly taxpayer-funded) scientific study which finds that:

[H]igher levels of drinking impair brain function and memory.

In other words, the more booze you drink, the more your brain gets scrambled.

If anyone aged higher than 10 did not  know this, they ought to be euthanized as a public service, because such stupidity can only come from (and yes, there may be some overlap) Democrat voters, socialist policymakers and (apparently) Australian scientists.

Sheesh… reading stuff like this makes me want to go back to pouring Scotch over my breakfast cereal.  Now I’ll have to wait until after the Monday range session.


  1. Wow, who knew besides any college Freshman that having a hangover affects the brains function and memory. First of all, this was a study in Australia and the few Aussies I have know seemed to be kind of drunk a good deal of the time, not even reaching the hangover stage. (My experience is very limited and I don’t want to sound as if it indicates all the kangaroo abusers are drunks with limited ability to remember much of anything, I just don’t know.)

    From the Australian study:
    “Researchers found that people who had a higher breath alcohol concentration (BAC) on the previous night spent more time drinking, reported worse hangover symptoms and performed the test slower than their more sober counterparts.

    ‘Not surprisingly, the more alcohol that is consumed, the worse the hangover and impairment to the brain,’ said Sarah Benson, who led the study.”

    This is amazing news, more booze resulting in hangovers limits the brain function and if they study further they might find out that frequent hangovers a not good for people, or something, it’s at least worth another government grant to develop further information or you could spend a couple of weeks at any college or university in Texas or Oklahoma with first hand observation.

  2. “Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
    “In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first.
    In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.” Cliff Clavin

    You can’t argue with science like that.

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