News Roundup

1)  Woman dies when she falls onto an eco-friendly metal drinking straw which impales her in the eye — you would have to have a heart of stone not to laugh at this story.  Or at this one:

2)  Bankers are fired and get all sobby —  that’s what happens when you don’t call in enough loans and fail to toss your quota of poor people out onto the street.

3)  Irish man, 19, ‘is raped by two men in Magaluf after being kicked out of a brothel for having no money’ — I have no idea what the problem is, here: he was looking  for some sex, wasn’t he?

4)  Gay group wearing ‘lesbians are women’ t-shirts are removed by police from the National Theatre bar after a transgender staff member was offended by their views — I’m trying to think how it’s possible to fit more annoying shit into a single headline, but I can’t — unless Michelle Obama was the trannie.

5)  Clinton confidante Epstein charged with arranging child prostitutes for friends —  will be murdered or “commit suicide” in 3… 2… 1…

6)  African leaders launched a continental free-trade zone on Sunday that if successful would unite 1.3 billion people, create a $3.4 trillion economic bloc and usher in a new era of development — it’s gonna fail.  Africa wins again.

7)  Older female rhinos are sent in to help young male get horny — redefines the meaning of “cougar”, dunnit?  (I’m trying to visualize “older female rhinos” and “sex”, but all I can think of is Nancy Pelosi and Maxine Waters.  Sorry.)


  1. 1) Laughed like a randy hyena. So my heart is just fine, thanks for asking.

    2) (Shrug)

    3) Well, he was looking for a screw, and he got screwed good and hard.

    4) “The great leftist autophagy continues apace,” to coin an insta-phrase.

    5) The proper term is “Arkancide”

    6) Way to be a Debbie Downer on a Friday.

    7) Nancy and Maxine, sitting in a tree, S-C-I-S-S-O-R-I-N-G. Now THATS the stuff of nightmares.

  2. Epstein has been dangling in the wind for many years now. There are many who think that he is being jammed up now to make him incriminate Trump – who was his good buddy for years. It doesn’t much matter whether Epstein has evidence or knowledge of criminal acts by Trump – his testimony about such acts would be useful.

    If Epstein takes down the Clintons as well – that’s a feature, not a bug for the Gang. I doubt if the Clintons still have the juice to arrange a hit on him.

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