Living Conditions

A couple of people have written to me, asking under what conditions I am being forced to live, here at Free Market Towers. While Mr. FM of course insists on a reasonable degree of privacy, Mrs. FM did okay these shots of their “little place in the country” [sic]. Here’s the front aspect:

Over on the left of the picture is the Annex, in which are tucked my mean quarters:

Pure hell, I tell you. This morning I had to wait for at least fifteen minutes after ringing down for coffee. I’d speak to Mrs. FM about it, but I think there have been enough staff floggings of late. We’ll see how they do tomorrow. Here’s the Guest Library, which lies just underneath my bedroom:

Absolute squalor; but I’m only a guest from the Colonies, so I can’t complain too much.

In the meantime, I’m off to lunch, pie and sausage roll again, washed down with 6X, lovely stuff. Tonight, if the rain holds off (a dubious prospect; it’s pissing down as I write this), I’m going to watch Mr. FM’s Son&Heir play cricket for the village team — it gets dark here at about ten p.m., so there’s lots of time. Afterwards will be spent in the local pub either celebrating their victory or consoling them in defeat. Or if play is washed out, we’ll just go to the pub anyway. Whatever happens, there will be 6X involved.

Thank goodness for the time difference, which enables me to sleep off my hangovers before posting.




  1. Utter squalor. I suppose you have to do windows to pay the rent, then mow the billion acres of lawn. Tough to do between pub runs. I feel for you.

  2. Well, you are sleeping in the old stables. And the property was a snip at £12M. I encourage you to forego the 6X and investigate the local ciders.

  3. Enjoy your stay!! Glad to hear you putting a hurt on 6X.

    Apparently you got there in one piece!!! I hope you didn’t make a “new friend” with TSA.

  4. Glad you are enjoying everything. They do have a way of living life there that I miss.

  5. Yeah, I’m not gonna play this game 🙂

    It looks absolutely marvelous, and I hope you’re having a great time.

  6. Puts me in mind of a line from the 1983 movie “Class” (q.v.). Poor kid and rich kid get out of the rich kid’s car in front of the rich kid’s house.

    Poor Kid: “What a disgustingly ostentatious display of wealth. How can I get one?”


  7. You should file an action with the International Criminal Court at The Hague for having to endure conditions that can only be described as a Crime Against Humanity.

    BTW, Toastrider is a Party Pooper!

  8. I am sure that you can survive all that green and water until you can return to properly brown and arid TX.

  9. I think I saw a flower petal dropped on the left side of the fourth stair-step from the top.

    Simply shocking….

  10. I think that bedroom is the size of the entire upstairs of my house.

    My mother tells of her parents’ story of househunting in Philadelphia and looking at one place where my grandmother figured they could fit all their furniture easily into less than a quarter of the main living room/parlor. And it had five levels of cellar. It took a while to find my uncle.

    I want that residence.

    I’d also love to stay in squalor similar to what you’re being subjected to. I’m so glad you’re enjoying yourself.

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