Category: Funny Stuff

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

And seeing as it’s the first Monday after our high holy day (National Ammo Day), let’s alleviate the Monday Blues with the following:

…which will henceforth be the logo of our Righteous Shootings posts.

And lastly, in the spirit of the above:

Now go and cook your breakfast meal.

Monday Funnies

Funny Stuff

Wheeeee… it’s Monday again.

So let’s lie down and whimper in pain together:

Posted earlier:

Well, he does have some competition from Michigan:

So here’s a pic of a mermaid:

…and a pic of Sara Verone, who isn’t a mermaid:

And finally Juliette Lewis, who isn’t Italian:

Now strap on yer high heels and head for work.

Living Abroad

Mocking Furriners, Numbers & Statistics

Once again we have a list — this time, of “Best Countries To Live In“.

From our perspective, of course, we have to remove the disclaimer, “…unless you want to own a gun”, which would take out pretty much all but the U.S. of A from the results.  Also, the survey also takes into account shit like “environmental consciousness” and similar woke bollocks, so we should probably ignore the whole thing.

But then I wouldn’t have a post for today.  So here’s my take on the whole thing, ignoring the gun issue just this once.

1. Germany — I wouldn’t mind living in Deutschland too much, except that I would get horribly bored by the food after a few months.  The beer’s okay, and I love driving there.  The TV is uniformly terrible, just awful (SNL’s satire “Sprockets” would actually be an improvement), and that bland 80s Europop that seems to blast from every radio station or PA system makes me want to go all Peter Kürten every few weeks or so.  But as long as I could live somewhere like Bad Reichenall or similar in Bavaria, I could probably survive there.

2. Canada — ditto Canuckistan, maybe in Montreal’s Plateau, or out west where the Canuckis are more like Murkins.  The winters might get me down after a while, though;  as much as I like snow and such, you can have too much of a good thing.  And then there’s Pierre Trudeau…

3. Japan — Kyoto, maybe, rather than Tokyo.  But I have to admit, the language issue would be far more of a hurdle here than in Germany or French Canuckistan. Or even in

4. Italy — definitely, but only in the north, in cities like Torino, Milan or similar, or else in the Como area.  I found Italian surprisingly difficult to understand the last time I was there, but I’m sure I could get the hang of it after a year or so.  And that Northern Italian cuisine… que bella.  Of course, I’d need an Alfa Romeo or Fiat to putter around in.

5. Britishland — of course, but not London.  Somewhere out west or southwest (Hardy country) would do.  A small town like Devizes or Bradford-on-Avon would be excellent.  As long as I could have access to US TV now and then, because like in Europe, the Brit TV offering is dire.

As for the rest of the top ten (excluding Murka):
France:  Midi only
Sweden:  too cold for too long, plus language and Commies
Switzerland:  NO
Australia:  NO.

The rest of the top 20:
Spain:  Southern Med coast only, or maybe Barcelona
Norway:  NO, too many Commies
Netherlands:  Amsterdam, baby.  Oh yes… after Britishland — or maybe even ahead of — I could see myself there.
New Zealand:  NO, see Norway
Finland:  no, see Sweden
Austria:  Vienna, definitely — but with the same reservations as with Germany
Scotland:  Edinburgh, if you put a gun to my head;  otherwise no
Belgium:  no
Ireland:  undecided.  Lotsa Irish around, though, with strange names like Eoin and Aisling
Iceland:  NO.

Sorry, folks:  looks like y’all are stuck with me, right Over Here — oh, and did I mention GUNS?

Try owning that little collection outside Murka…

Gold-Plated Invective

Funny Stuff, Music

From Ishmael, snarling away from his lair in the Shetlands:

I was up all night, between here and watching the telly. It was a wee small hours, musical interlude, on Channel Four, firstly a film of Liam Gallagher’s new ensemble, Beardy Eye, playing their new album in the Abbey Road studios. Liam is the truly neanderthal, younger brother from Oasis, a thick, grunting Manchester-Irish fuckpig, dumb as shit, you can hear the wind whistling between his ears, if he was any more stupid he’d have to be watered twice a week; makes Manchester United’s Wayne Potato look like a full Mensa meeting, does Liam. Nothing wrong with stupid. There’s lots of people like Liam, their oil just doesn’t reach the dipstick. He’s not as stupid as he looks, mind, because he looks like he was beaten with the Ugly stick and then ate it, ugly as fucking sin, is Liam Gallagher, ugly as a hatfull of arseholes; if your dog had a face like Liam’s, you’d shave its arse and teach it to walk backwards. Stupid, ugly and nasty, that’s Liam Gallagher, a truculent moron, charmless, graceless and entirely without discernible musical talent, a sign, in fact, of Ruin’s corrosion.

Now that’s scorn and dislike for you.  And it gets worse…