Criminal Beliefs

Oh, here’s a good one:

A couple who fed their daughter an extreme vegan diet have admitted causing her serious injury.
The mother and father, aged 32 and 34 respectively, who cannot be named for legal reasons fed the girl oats and rice milk.
The girl’s diet was so restricted that she developed rickets, a degenerative bone disease caused by malnourishment.
This diet resulted in severe deficiencies in nutrients across the board for the infant, including a lack of calcium, phosphate, vitamin B12, vitamin A, iron and zinc.
Her levels of vitamin D — which can cause bone disease if found to be too low — were ‘undetectable’.
The infant had fractures scattered throughout her tiny body and her bones were so brittle doctors believed they could have been broken by ‘normal handling’.
The treatment of the girl was only brought to the attention of doctors in March this year, when doctors attended to the infant after she suffered a seizure.
One doctor described her as ‘floppy’ and noted how the diminutive one-and-a-half year old didn’t crawl or talk during the month in care.

And here’s the best part:

The daughter and her two siblings have since been taken into foster care.

Under the reign of World-Emperor Kim, the parents would also receive daily floggings and an all-meat diet during their ten-year prison sentence.  And if these two fanatics were to starve themselves to death rather than eat that eeeevil meat, so much the better.

Fucking bullshit.

Censors And Their Censoring Ways

Aaaaaargh FFS I’m just about to explode with rage over here.  Why?  Because the Language Police are out in force, trying to circumscribe my speech yet again, but this time from another direction.

It’s bad enough that I can’t say the words “snigger” or “blackball” without some fucking snowflake or race hustler getting triggered and calling me Worse Than Hitler — we’re all familiar with that form of PC regulation.

Guess who’s next?

Here’s the list of ‘helpful’ suggestions from PETA for teachers to use with their pupils instead of the current ‘harmful’ phrases. It recommends:

  • ‘Let the cat out of the bag’ is changed to ‘Spill the beans’
  • ‘Be a guinea pig’ to ‘Be the test tube’
  • ‘Hold your horses’ to ‘Hold the phone’
  • ‘Open a can of worms’ to ‘Open Pandora’s box’
  • ‘Bring home the bacon’ to ‘Bring home the bagels’
  • ‘Put all your eggs in one basket’ to ‘Put all your berries in one bowl’
  • ‘Kill two birds with one stone’ to ‘Feed two birds with one scone’
  • ‘Take the bull by the horns’ to ‘Take the flower by the thorns’
  • ‘Flog a dead horse’ to ‘Feed a fed horse’
  • ‘More than one way to skin a cat’ to More than one way to peel a potato’

Now the fucking vegans have to get involved in language?  Great Caesar’s bleeding hemorrhoids, isn’t there any  part of my life which can escape the censure of these bastard busybodies?

[deep breath]

I think the best thing I can do (apart from some activity involving an AK-47 and a few Molotov cocktails) is to offer up some suggestions which escaped the above list, but that we may use just to antagonize these pricks a little further:

  • Bleeding the lizard (male urination)
  • Choking the chicken (male masturbation)
  • Spearing the bearded clam (shagging)
  • Harpooning a whale (fucking a fat chick — a twofer, because body-shaming)
  • Bonking a buffalo (ditto)
  • Poking a panther (fucking a Black chick)
  • Tonguing the trout (cunnilingus)
  • Eating an eel (fellatio)
  • Playing with the puppies (fondling a woman’s breasts)
  • …and all the expressions involving the word “pussy”, e.g. pussyfooting.

If anyone has any other suggestions, go at it in Comments.  I’m too angry to think.

No I’m not:  I think I’ll go and roast me a leg of lamb for dinner.

Here’s the source:

In fact, this may be our best revenge on these gastronomic Puritans:  every time you read something about vegans that pisses you off, make yourself a meat dish for dinner.  Or go completely overboard at lunchtime:


*I should point out that “Open Pandora’s box”  is probably offensive to some feministicals because of its quasi-sexual connotation, but I’ll let them fight it out with the vegans, preferably with nuclear weapons so we can have a little mutually-assured destruction.

Okay, that thought put a smile back on my face.

Change, Or Else

If vegans were just content with living their own lives, following their peculiar little diet and getting on with it, I probably wouldn’t be ranting about them.

But no.

Vegans plan new wave of protests against meat industry as they target takeaways, butchers and abattoirs in bid do persuade consumers to turn their back on animal products.
“Veganism has been around a long time,” Phoebe Frampton, who founded the Earthlings movement in 2013, told The Sunday Times. “It used to be a dietary and health issue but modern vegans see it as being about animal rights and animal liberation.”
The Earthlings protests are peaceful, with masked campaigners standing in circles holding laptops screening “horrific” films of abattoirs to spark public interest.
However, critics see their beliefs as extreme with modern veganism goes far beyond giving up meat, fish and dairy. It also means giving up honey, silk, leather shoes and even beeswax furniture polish.
Direct Action Everywhere (DxE), founded in the US in 2013, now has five “chapters” in Britain. One of them invaded a branch of Tesco in Brighton last month, with 30 protesters staging a “silent protest” in the meat aisle.
Some farmers dispute the claims of non-violence. John Wood, a Dorset farmer, set up the Facebook Meat & Greet site to promote lamb and beef, but says he was targeted by “frightening” militants.
“We have had animal liberationists turning up at our home and shouting abuse. Most of these people may be bunny-huggers, but some are dangerous,” he said.

So shoot a few, if you feel your life is being threatened.  Oh wait… I forgot that this is in Britain, where you’ll get a prison sentence if you so much as look angrily at someone threatening your life.  And good grief:  if some oaf is shouting abuse at you, use an air horn on them at close range.

As for the Murkin DxE:  try staging a silent protest in my local butchery while I’m buying my weekly supply of steak, boerewors and lamb, and your protest won’t stay “silent” for long*.  That’s a promise.

I am so sick of smug assholes trying to tell me how to live my own life.


*Note to self:  remember to take the sjambok with you to the butchery in future.

And yes: it’s made from the skin of a dead hippo.  Why do you ask?

And You Thought We Were Exaggerating

Here’s a Vegan-Goes Crazy story from… Italy?

A 48-year-old Italian vegan has been ordered to pay her mother compensation after threatening to kill her for making traditional Bolognese meat sauce.
The smell of one of Italy’s most cherished dishes — ragù — was enough to set off a domestic disturbance that ended with the mother being threatened with a kitchen knife, a court heard.
Newly unemployed, the daughter had recently moved back in with her mother, who cooked in the typical tradition of rezdore, as housewives are called in the local Emilia Romagna dialect.
One of the signature dishes of every rezdore is Bolognese meat sauce, slow simmered for hours using a variety of meats including diced prosciutto cured ham, ground beef and sometimes chicken livers, then served over pasta or polenta.
Lawyers for the mother, who asked not to be named, said the family dynamic had degenerated due to irreconcilable conflicts over the mother and daughter’s different food cultures — the former heavy in butter, cream and meat, the latter exempt of all animal products.
The daughter told a court she’d long had “no sensory nor olfactory contact” with animal products before moving back in with her mother, for whom the rich, red meat sauce was standard fare.
Lawyers said there had been an escalation of aggressive episodes – always over food — before the threat that triggered the complaint.
Exasperated by the smell of meat sauce simmering for hours in the small apartment they shared, the daughter grabbed a knife and threatened to take matters into her own hands.
“If you won’t stop on your own then I’ll make you stop. Quit making ragù, or I’ll stab you in the stomach,” she said, according to the mum’s civil complaint.
Justice of Peace Nadia Trifilò sentenced the woman to pay a €400 court fine and ordered €500 be paid in compensation to her 69-year-old mother.
The case, argued in the Modena tribunal and reported by the local Gazzetta di Modena newspaper, stems from an argument that escalated out of control in March, 2016.
After failing to reach a peaceful mediation of the dispute over the last two years, the judge closed the case ruling in favour of the mother, ordering fines.

And this happened originally in 2016?  It’s just like Bill Sitwell and I said:  they’re getting out of control.

By the way, am I the only one who started to salivate at the description of that Bolognese sauce?

Freaks

Until now I have gently poked fun at vegans on this here website because I find them amusing, with their “be kind to all Earth’s creatures” belief system, and their endless earnest attempts to persuade the rest of us that if we only try their silly lifestyle and diets, we will See The Light And Become Better People.

In this regard, vegans are very much like cyclists, libertarians and Rush fans, whom I likewise regard mostly with amusement.  (I have a post on Rush brewing and it should appear next week.  Try to contain yourselves.)

But of late, vegans seem to be joining the Perpetually Aggrieved Nation (e.g. feminists, LGBTOSTFU, social justice warriors, Democrats, Black Lives Matter! etc.), the first step of which is that they’re losing their sense of humor.  Here’s a great example.

William Sitwell is a serious foodie;  he’s a Masterchef critic and editor of the Waitrose in-house magazine for foodies.  Of late, however, he’d been becoming irritated by vegans:

Earlier this year, writing about 2018’s “foodie trends” in The Times, Mr Sitwell slammed an “avalanche” of vegan cookbooks.  “Then, like an avalanche of Tory ministerial resignations, came the vegan snowball,” he wrote.  “It had slow beginnings among shampoo-averse hippies in the 1970s, but now vegans are parking their tanks on all of our lawns.”

Then came the killer.

Food journalist Selene Nelson had written to William Sitwell with a pitch for a “plant-based meal series” for [Waitrose’s] magazine featuring recipes, commentary and news.
Mr Sitwell replied: “Hi Selene. Thanks for this. How about a series on killing vegans, one by one.  Ways to trap them?  How to interrogate them properly?  Expose their hypocrisy?  Force-feed them meat?  Make them eat steak and drink red wine?”

Needless to say, someone’s feewings were hurt.

HuffPost [uh-oh] and Food Republic writer Nelson said she had never experienced such hostility when pitching to a media platform. “I was just shocked because I had never had a response like that,” she said. “I said to him that it ‘seems like you have some strong opinions on this’.”
She told BuzzFeed News [uh-oh x 2]: “I’ve never seen anything like it. I’ve written about many divisive topics, like capital punishment and murder cases and domestic violence [uh-oh x 3], and I’ve never had a response like that to any of my articles or pitches. And he’s the editor. He’s representing Waitrose and he’s talking about ‘killing vegans, one by one’?”
She added: “If William Sitwell wants to continue eating meat and hating vegans, that’s his prerogative, but to have this attitude towards others when he’s representing Waitrose is seriously bizarre.”
On Instagram [uh-oh x 4] she wrote: “I’m a vegan because I don’t support the torment and slaughter of 156 billion animals each year, nor the catastrophic devastation it causes our planet [oh FFS].  “Belittling and mocking people who care about animals and the environment is neither edgy nor cool.” [oh yes it is, especially when they react like this bitch]
Nelson stressed she was not telling him to become a vegan [of course not] but instead asking him to include more plant-based recipes.  [for “asking” read “demanding”]

This despite the fact that Waitrose has just this month opened a new vegan section in their supermarkets.

Of course, Sitwell has been pilloried, flayed alive, had salt poured on his exposed quivering flesh and his head stuck on a pike [some hyperbole there].  And of course he’s had to apologize profusely — and unnecessarily — but he’s been fired by Waitrose nevertheless.

Like libertarians and trannies, vegans account for a miniscule proportion of the general population, and just like libertarians, vegans can’t see why everybody just cannot see The Truth of their belief system.  Unlike libertarians, however, vegans don’t have a sense of humor, but very much like trannies, they want the majority of the population to kowtow to their fucking pathetic lifestyle — hence the moral blackmail of terms like “the torment and slaughter of 156 billion animals each year, nor the catastrophic devastation it causes our planet”.

Fuck you, and your tofu cutlets.

Last night after I wrote this, I had a delicious lamb vindaloo curry.  This morning, I had my normal breakfast of boerewors and a boiled egg followed by some Noosa yogurt.  Tonight I’m going to have the largest ribeye steak in the Western world, and this weekend I’m going to go to Hard Eight and consume twenty lbs. of BBQ (try to avoid drooling when you open that link).

And for that mass slaughter of pore lil’ helpless animules, you can thank Selene Nelson and her ilk.  (I’ll also have cole slaw, mind you, but with creamy sauce.  Can you hear the cows screaming?)

Do I hate vegans?  I’m starting to, so are many others, and especially so when they act like this.  Like the toothy Janet Street-Porter, I wish that vegans would just get a sense of humor / develop thicker skins.  That, or kill themselves (ditto all the other Sensitive Snowflake groups out there), because like William Sitwell I’m getting sick of all their bullshit.

Let’s look at this in terms of another kind of belief system.  I’m an atheist, but I don’t spend all my time trying to convert religious people to atheism, and I think the atheists who get all bent out of shape by “In God We Trust” are stupid assholes.  I don’t care that society doesn’t cater to atheists, with all that “So Help Me God” stuff and swearing on Bibles etc.  I don’t ask for special atheist services [sic] nor do I get mortally offended if someone says “Bless you” when I sneeze.  I could, but I don’t, because these are inoffensive gestures and rituals.  If vegans adopted the same attitude, everything would be fine;  but noooo, make one silly vegan joke (like Sitwell’s) and it’s Teh Holocaust and Hitler and boo-hoo-hoo.

And if you want to know who people mock vegans, it’s because they’re ridiculous and so is veganism.

And then there’s this:

Perhaps a breed facing extinction because of their hyper-specialized diet and low birth rate is not the best example?  Just a thought.