Tall Skinny Redheads

As any fule / Longtime Readers [some overlap]  kno, I prefer my dream women to be on the meaty / zaftig side, e.g. Carol Vorderman.  Here’s a reminder:

But those same people also know that I have a fondness for redheads — genuine redheads, with the pale skin (freckles optional, but most welcome) of that ilk.  So here are a few, leading off with Scotland’s Karen Gillan, formerly of Dr. Who  fame:

Then, of course,there’s Nicola Roberts from singing group Girls Aloud:

And from the BBC Poldark  TV series, Eleanor Tomlinson:

Also, actress / model Lily Cole:

And finally, the only reason to watch the appalling lawyer show Suits, Sarah Rafferty:

And a few more, whose names I didn’t catch:

Yum, yum, yum.  All of them.

Us, Too

Apparently, all-time hottie Brooke Shields wants to begin to “celebrate her own body” a lot more, which sounds just fine to me.  Let’s get a head start on the celebrations, shall we?  And I’m not going to be all ageist about it — we’ll look at past and  present:

Photographer: Melanie Acevedo

I’ve always thought that Brooke was one of the most beautiful women in the world, regardless of age.  But I have to say that as a youngin, she was a little light in the superstructure (for me, anyway). Now that she’s matured, however, she’s become a lot more MILFy…

What a woman.

Inexplicable

Try as I may, I fail to see the fascination with Katie Holmes, formerly Mrs. Tom Cruise.

This is not a knock on her, by the way:  at worst, she’s inoffensive — and she gets huge kudos for keeping their daughter out of the clutches of the foul Scientology cult.

Or maybe it’s just because  she’s the ex-wife of the dwarf action star (what I call the “Chelsea Clinton” effect) that the media seems to follow and photograph her all over the place;  and she continues to get movie roles, lots of them.  Once again, this is not a knock;  but she is unremarkable both in looks and talent:  girl-next-door pretty and capable of not screwing up a movie (the latter being no small thing, by the way).  Here she is in casual dress:

See what I mean?  And yet she’s played up — Vogue covers, etc. — and even when she’s in a movie, that praise continues.

For an example of the latter, one of the characters in the brilliant Thank You For Smoking  says of her that she has “world-class tits”, when it’s quite obvious that she doesn’t — not even close to world class, as the movie reveals later when she’s actually topless.  And the femme fatale  role she’s given… well, she’s not so fatale, as it turns out.

Granted, our Katie does clean up quite well:

…but given the amount of cosmetic trickery involved in shots like this, hell, even Chelsea Clinton can look passable (be charitable, willya?).  That said, Holmes certainly plays it for all it’s worth.

But I just don’t get it.  The movie business is lousy with gorgeous and egregiously-talented women, and yet Holmes gets more column inches and celluloid time than a lot of them.

Inexplicable.

Fat Ass

I haven’t ever understood the fascination with a fat ass on a woman.  I know the anthropological reasons in primitive societies — where a wife’s ass was an indicator of her husband’s success, i.e. the better he fed her, the better provider he was — but I never understood the fascination for lard-assed women in the civilized world, and nor do these guys.

I know, I know:  this post is useless without some kind of pictorial underpinning. [sigh]

…and that’s one of the least offensive examples out there.  A single trip to WalMart… well, you know the rest.  (No such pic posted, on humanitarian grounds.)  And in any event, I speak not of the genus walmarta  — those women who become pear-shaped either through diet, childbirth or unfortunate genetic background;  I speak here of those vain modern women who have fat or worse injected into their posteriors to plump them out deliberately.

Anecdotally, a Black (female) friend once told me that Black women have fat asses as a protection against their male counterparts’ predilection for anal sex:  “It keeps them further back” — but I don’t buy that, unless that’s the primal cause for Black men to have larger-than-average dicks, I dunno.  Maybe, in the case of the Kardashian coven, the butt enlargements are simply done as an attractant for their favorite choice of partner (i.e. wealthy Black men).

Whatever.

What I do know is that this female trend towards buttock-amplification is pretty moronic, even when matched against female stupidity such as spending untold dollars on crap like anti-aging creams and potions (none of which work).

And I, for one, am not a huge fan thereof.  In fact, were it not for her superstructure, I’d find Carol Vorderman quite unappealing.

But hey, as the man said:  “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds.”

Within the bell curve, however, something that would occur more towards the middle — such as that as shown by Diogenes in his weekly series — is far more appealing:

What I also find unattractive, by the way, are those who inhabit the left-hand  side of the same bell curve:  the snake-hipped, flat-buttocked women of the runway model kind (which may also explain my disdain for the average Chinese or Japanese woman, few of whom seem to have any buttocks at all).

As with all things, sufficiency  is what we strive for.

Except when it comes to boobage.  Even I have my limits.

This Is A Test

Here’s a simple one to test your eyesight, alertness and social awareness.  Your task is quite simple:  in each pic, identify which of the four girls is the most popular.

I know;  it’s a tough one for a Sunday.

Here are the answers, from a woman’s perspective:

Pic #1, the second girl from the left, because you can see her eyes, and
Pic #2, the second from the right, because she has the prettiest shoes.

And a bonus question:  without scrolling back up, in which picture could you see an alligator?

My Style

As Longtime Readers are fully aware, I loathe Modernist architecture and interior design with something approaching destructive impulse (a polite way of saying that of I could get away with it, I’d pay Muslim assholes to fly empty airliners into all of them).  Lest we forget, here are a couple of examples of same:

So, you may ask, what do you propose in modernism’s stead?  Well, if we go according to the precept that “architecture doesn’t have to  suck”, we could do with more of these:

…and for the interior design, more of these:

The above two pictures, by the way, are of an AirBnB apartment in Edinburgh (one of my favorite cities in the whole world), where I will most certainly be staying the next time New Wife and I pop Over There.

Here’s another example of an interior taken not a million miles away from a certain country house in England’s South West, where I have stayed before:

…and where we will doubtless stay again when we venture into Hardy Country.

Yes, I’m hopelessly old-fashioned and so (to the surprise of precisely nobody) is New Wife.  Your opinion may vary from ours in that you prefer the top two pictures;  but if so, you suck and so does your ghastly Bauhaus  architecture.