I have long thought that when famous women don’t look fabulous (when they’re doing Celebrity Things, i.e. when they’re supposed to look fabulous), it’s because someone in their entourage (stylist, hairdresser, whatever) is gay and secretly hates women.
Here’s an example. We are all familiar with the unbearably-cute Amy Adams, but I have to say that she looks a lot less cute when she has this hairstyle:
In fact, she looks downright plain with her lustrous red hair pulled back into that severe don’t-care-housewife ponytail. Compare that photo, then, with this one:
Marked improvement, n’est-ce pas?
And let’s not even talk about what she looks like when posed:
Quod erat demonstratum. No malignant influence there.
I’ve always had the hots for Brit TV newsreader Charlotte Hawkins, who presses all my buttons by being gorgeous, classy, intelligent and (of course) well spoken.
And frankly, anyone who flips off Piers Morgan is definitely worthy of admiration. (Warning: link contains Piers Morgan.)
She started off getting a first-class university degree. Then she went around the world seeking out unexploded ordinance, and became a bomb disposal expert, neutralizing forgotten minefields. After that, she “dated” (had a brief but intense affair with) Prince Harry (back when he had balls). Then she appeared on some stupid Brit “reality” show and became really famous when she shagged her “boyfriend” on TV. (In mitigation, they are still together, several years later)
Meet Camilla Thurlow:
Frankly, I think ol’ Harry lost out, big time.
As far as I can make out, this creature became famous by watching TV, on TV. (I know, let’s hear it for that “quality” Brit TV we keep hearing about.) It seems as though Scarlett Moffat was quite plump back then:
…but she has since lost quite a bit of weight — thankfully, not in the wrong places — and now looks quite appetizing:
From all accounts, Miss Scarlett’s brain operates on the level of rice pudding, but that hasn’t stopped people like Sean Penn, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez or Alyssa Milano from being successful, so I guess it’s not relevant.
Once again, I hear the whines: “Oh Kim, those purty lil’ sports cars are fine an’ all… but they’re plain useless if’n you want to haul a load or sump’n. So give us more Murkin eye candy.”
I serve to please:
…and that’s it for this series, as 2018 draws to a close. Next Sunday there’ll be something totally different.
And back we go, Over the Pond (and also back in time, a tad):
Still gorgeous, after all these years… no voting needed on this one because they’re all equally beautiful.
But it seems only fair that we should also take a little peek into Jag’s future: