1. Not a caption, but one of my Dad’s expressions for a heavy snowfall was “It’s gonna snow asshole deep on a giraffe.”

  2. Larry and Phil were as shocked as everyone else by the sudden explosion of the Zamboni.
    Also a bit curious as to who thought this was a good spot for a hockey venue.

  3. I can do this, he says. It’ll be great, he says, lots of girl giraffes, plenty of food and no lions. Dammit, Fred, next time let Scotty or Spock run the fucking transporter.

  4. The National Park Service has announced that Keisha and Zoe, two grizzly bears released yesterday at Yellowstone National Park, have died from exposure. The bears, who began their lives as giraffes in Africa but have identified as grizzly bears for some time, are the first trans-species bears released.

    “We’re baffled,” said a biologist from a California university. “Grizzly bears typically endure sub-freezing temperatures rather well.”

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