Crowdstrike, Cloudburst

I remember having a discussion with one of my executive buddies a while back, talking about this whole business of shoving IT up into the “Cloud” and away from in-house (local) processing.  My buddy, (who is still very active in business) stated that he would never, ever do that because of control concerns;  I went even further and said that were I the CEO of a corporation and an executive even suggested such an action to me, I’d fire him on the turn.

Here’s the reason for my intransigence, and it’s a topic I’ve banged on about before:  the allure of “convenience” without caring about (or intentionally disregarding) the risk of vulnerability.  Here’s an example in a microcosm.

Back in the late 1980s and early 1990s we still did a lot of paper printing, as email communication of large files and documents was beyond the ability of most systems to accomplish large-scale dissemination.  At the same time, though, systems were changing from stand-alone processing into networked systems, and the most obvious of these was in the area of shared printers (as opposed to each workstation having its own printer).

Of course, IT was all over the networked printing principle because, as one clueless IT person told me, “we only have to maintain and service one printer as opposed to dealing with several, so it’s more productive” — confusing, as I pointed out to him, their convenience with the user’s needs.

What, I asked him, was the point of sharing a single device when there’s a traffic jam of users waiting around the printer for their job to clear the queue?  How productive was that, in the corporate sense, when one service technician would save time while half a dozen other workers were doing nothing?  And even worse, of course, was the prospect of the printer failing altogether (for whatever reason), causing everybody to sit on their hands while the machine was being fixed or having its ink cartridge replaced;  how productive was that scenario?

As I was beating my head against a corporate brick wall, I did what I normally do in such circumstances:  I declared unilateral independence.  I bought myself one of those HP500 inkjet printers (and black-ink cartridges) out of my own pocket and remained outside the system altogether, to the consternation of IT.  (My boss, bless him, told them to go and fuck themselves — those exact words — when they asked him to strong-arm me into compliance.)

Then over the following six months I monitored the network printer activity and catalogued all the times it went down, then calculated the net cost to departmental productivity, and presented my findings to Management at our next inter-departmental meeting.  (Basically, if the five largest users of the printers in our department had each had their own HP500, the department would have saved literally thousands of dollars in lost productivity.  In fact, it would have been a zero-sum decision to equip each of those users with their own laser printer, never mind a cheapie HP500, and left “casual” printing — memos, etc. — on the network.)

I won the battle and lost the war, because IT took its revenge on me from then on by slow-walking all my projects — and I did a lot of those — through the system, using the “limited resources” argument because, I admit, my projects were resource intensive.

It did not help matters when personal computers came along.  Of course, I was the first one to get one (out of my own pocket, again), enabling me to do a huge amount of developmental work independently of IT.  The head of IT came into my office and asked me to give him a demonstration of my PC.  I agreed to do it, but only after inviting my boss to sit in.  Then I ran one of my routines on the PC and we sat for about ten minutes waiting for it to process.  Of course, the IT guy sneered at the pace of the process, saying that the mainframe could have done the same job in seconds.

I then pointed out to my boss that the last time I had submitted an identical job through IT, I’d eventually got the output some three days later.  (And yes, I had the documentation to substantiate it.)

My boss, bless him again, asked me if I could set up a PC for him because he too was sick of waiting for his jobs to get back to him.

A week later, Management received a proposal from IT to set up dumb terminals in all our offices so that we users would not have to become our own computer programmers.  It was accepted by all the department managers except mine, who had in the interim found room in the budget to buy PCs for all the account executives, and tasked me with developing and delivering the necessary training.  (I outsourced it to a buddy’s training company because I had things called “clients” who had greater need of my time.)

Anyway, I told you all that so I could talk about this.

You see, apart from any talk of productivity and convenience, the dirty little downside to Cloud-based single-source processing is that having a single source also means that there is an enormous risk when any bad actor or even incompetent actor (such as in the above case) gets to access the whole show.  Single source also means incredibly-dangerous universal failure scenarios.

Ask the airlines, banks and hospitals affected by the above.  And incidentally, state vehicle inspections in our area of north Texas were also affected in that their inspection equipment failed to operate — and the operators didn’t bother coming into work because why should they?  And even when the systems did start working again, there was still a delay while the operators came back from their absence — machines and systems working:  nobody to operate them.

As I discovered two days ago when I took my car in to be inspected, at two different locations hereabouts.

Now scroll back up and re-read the first paragraph of this post.

Yeah, Whatever

It appears that the brand-new Brit Foreign Secretary doesn’t have too high an opinion of our next President:

Britain’s newly installed top diplomat [David Lammy] has refused to back down from his past comments branding Donald Trump as a “neo-Nazi-sympathising sociopath”.

Considering that he’s part of the Labour (a.k.a. Socialist) Party, that’s unsurprising.

What will be surprising (to him) is how Trump responds to this kind of non-diplomatic speech.

Because Trump is an Anglophile, he’s unlikely to expel the Brit Ambassador and freeze out the Labour Government — which is what I would do in similar circumstances — and to be frank, he’s heard worse from our own local Socialists.

Anyway, the real power in Britishland is not in the Labour government, but amongst the financiers in the City.

Kinda like the bond traders in Manhattan, really.

But understanding reality has never been a strong suit on the Left.  Just wait and see, for example, what happens when they re-nationalize Britain’s railways.
(Can you spell “C-A-T-A-S-T-R-O-P-H-I-C  F-A-I-L-U-R-E”, children?)

And the Izzies, of course, know exactly what side their bread is buttered on:

“Israelis and the prime minister remember very, very well the incredible support which President Trump, while he was in office, gave to this country,” said Israeli government spokesman David Mencer.

After the foreign policy failures of FJBiden’s administration, I suspect that more than a few countries feel the same way as Israel, and not like Britain.

When The Hatred Surges

Not talking about our local Commies and their HitlerTrump bullshit here.  Nope, we have to go Over There to see a bunch of gummint types having their asses handed to them by the voters, for once.

The Labour government’s decision to scrap its blanket 20mph speed limits in Wales just a year after they were introduced has sparked hope for the rest of the UK. 

Wales’ Transport Secretary Ken Skates admitted the policy was so unpopular even his own family had signed the petition against it.

This despite all the assurances that a 20mph (!!!!) speed limit would do so much to combat Global Cooling Climate Warming Change©.  Of course it wouldn’t (and won’t), just as our own imposition of a 55mph highway speed limit did nothing of the sort either.

I suppose retraction is better than a public hanging, after all — although that may be a contentious issue all by itself, especially among Stout Bulldogs of my acquaintance Over There.  (The Englishman, for one, is especially fond of the “heads on pikes” approach to curbing government excess.)

Now we’ll see if the Welsh example spreads to other Brit municipalities of similar stupidity.  But I wouldn’t count on it.

Speed Bump #867

“A NASA astronaut captured eerie glowing lights hanging in Earth’s atmosphere while aboard the ISS, revealing a rare phenomena that happens 50 miles above the surface.”

One phenomenon, two phenomena.

Does anyone check grammar at the Daily Mail  nowadays?

Stupid Is (Part Deux)

Okay, there’s stupid (voting for a Democrat Socialist), very stupid (waterbombing Danny Trejo)… and then there’s ultra-stupid:

A Spanish tourist reportedly has been “trampled to death” by elephants in South Africa after he tried to get close to them to take pictures. 

If you look up the word “pendejo”  in the dictionary, that’ll be his pic you see, right above that of the Trejo Waterbomber.

I remember one time I was driving friends around the Kruger Park when we suddenly came upon a solitary elephant.  I stopped, of course, at a distance of about thirty yards.

“Get a little closer!” urged one friend (American, first time in Africa, in fact I think it was the first time she’d ever left New England).
Of course, I refused.
“He’s just standing there,” she said.
“See how his ears are flapping?”
“I know, it’s so cute!”
“He’s warning us off,” I said, and put the minibus into reverse.

Then the elephant took three giant steps towards us, whereupon I tried my very best to break the world speed record for reversing a VW minibus down a dirt road.  Even so, he got to within about ten yards of the bus before our acceleration took us clear.  Fortunately, the road was straight and after a minute or so the elephant stopped, flapped his ears at us one more time, and exited stage right.

I took the opportunity to turn the bus around, and got the hell out of the area.

One of the others managed to get a single pic of Dumbo, right before he got on the road and decided to shoo us off.


(in the very left-hand bottom of the pic you can see the car windowsill, to give an idea of how close he was, no zoom lens)

Get out of the car? Close to a herd with calves?

I guess the Spanish guy felt that he knew all about elephants, having done the African River ride at DisneyWorld where the elephants frolic charmingly along the river banks, rather than trampling people to death.


Afterthought:  phew, if the whole herd got in on the act as the report says, all that remained must have been some bloody mud with bone splinters, with pieces of El Stupido’s iPhone mixed in.

 

Stupid Is

…and you know the rest.

I have to tell y’all, I am generally not a fearful man.  That’s not a boast, that’s a summary of my reaction to several (very) scary incidents that have tested me over my six-score years or so of adult life.

That said, if you told me that my next dare was to throw a water balloon at Danny Trejo, I’d back away whimpering and head to the bar.

I don’t care if he’s 80 years old.  I wouldn’t care if the lion you wanted me to tease with a stick was that old in lion-years, or assured me that the black mamba I’d have to kiss had been de-fanged.

Ain’t no way.   NFW.  Not Danny Trejo, no water bomb.

Yet some pendejo  did just that and gave Trejo the goods.

And was surprised when ol’ man Danny laid a big can of whup-ass on him.