News Roundup

…back when this stuff was funny because people knew it was tongue-in-cheek naughty instead of “hurtful” or “demeaning”.


...including, one would hope, the entire Bud Light marketing department.


...but as Kenny says:  “Meanwhile in Alaska”:

And speaking of invasions by foul creatures:


...even in Germany?  Wow.

From the Dept. of Health:


...as opposed to offering it to illegal immigrants?  I’ll take that for $400, Alex.


From the Global Warming Climate Cooling Change© people:


...EVERYBODY PANIC!!!  Or not, seeing as there’s no actual evidence that climate “change” can affect global sea currents.

Your Gummint At Work:


...because we don’t have enough literate citizens to do those jobs, thanks to our so-called “education” system.


...too bad it’s not because of the unexpectedly-high body count.

And in Happy Happy Joy Joy News:


...Viva Italia.


...oh yes it is.  Nobody has ever complained while having one, although I bet a few women have tried.


...actually, the most dangerous position is the one her husband catches you doing.


...back when I were a lad, all you needed was a pic of Raquel Welch and this thing called “imagination”.

From the bowels of INSIGNIFICA:

     


...anytime anyone gets sick of looking at Liz, I can always stop.

More, you say?  Why not…

On that joyous note we end the news, and not a moment too soon.

News Roundup

Here’s a spoonworthy target, in Lawn Awduh:


...the dirty rozzers. How dare they act like typical randy young men?

Problem is, a spoon-smack on the tip of the willie may well be a good idea to errr subdue the rampant male.  But what if the aggressor is a womyn?

From the Dept. of Education:


...I’m not sure that teaching the boy to scream “Oh god oh god oh god!” is acceptable religious instruction, but then I ‘m just an old atheist.


...LOL wait till they get to read Titus Andronicus.  “Mass suicide” would be my prediction.


...and yet they’re going to vote him back into office at the next election.  And speaking of the uneducated:


...also that wolves can’t hunt whales, White Men can’t jump, and Africans can’t govern.

From the Dept. of Global Warming Climate Cooling Change©:


...next thing, they’ll be telling us that electric cars are a waste of time.  Believe The Science.


...key word:  Germany.


...I think you’re a little late with the warning there, Mikey.

From the Dept. of Womyns’ Sport:


...and if the U.S. coach had any balls [sic], these ungrateful hussies would have been pulled off the team and sent straight back to… Cuba.  And speaking of Cuba:


...perhaps if the MassGuv were to lead the way and house a few dozen illegals in the Governor’s mansion…? 

In Showbiz News:



...perhaps if they’d stuck with just one, they might have got away with it.

And in INSIGNIFICA:

       

Finally, if we are to Believe The Science!, then:

Science’s loss is our gain, I suppose.

Proper Ranking

From my friends at the Texas State Rifle Association:

Let’s just look at that for a moment:

  • Grand Prize:  an old rifle, last used in the 19th century, firing a black powder cartridge that’s mostly unavailable except to hobbyists and reloaders
  • Consolation Prize: the Mattel AR-15 Plastic Fantastic

LOL.

Hey, I didn’t set the competition up, they did.


En passant:  I fired the 71/84 once, and like a most black powder shooting, it was a lot of fun, but very messy. [insert sex joke here]