“Dear Dr. Kim”

“Dear Dr. Kim,
“My girlfriend has just returned from a hen week with three love bites and two new tattoos.  She pouts she got drunk a lot and can’t remember what went on.  She assumes that we can simply carry on as usual, but how dare she treat me like this?”

— Puzzled, UK

Dear Puzzled:

Let me get something off my chest, first.  When the hell did a hen party night turn into a hen party week?  WTF?  Does anyone (other than the Party Girrllzzz Set) think that any good will come out of this?  Oh sure, a mob of drunken women, unrestrained by morals and good taste, out to have a good time without any consequences (they think) for a whole damn week?  Let me tell you:  under the term “Recipe For Disaster” in the dictionary, you’ll find this event as one of the prime scenarios.

And I won’t be distracted by the red herring of “Well, men have bachelor parties toooo!”  because that’s a topic for another time, but suffice it to say, men are idiots and always have been.  Women are supposed to be better than that, and increasingly, they aren’t.

And now that we’re here, let’s get around to your specific problem.

Here’s the executive summary, in case you haven’t figured it out yet.  Your slag of a girlfriend — a self-confessed blackout drunkard — went away for one of these debauched parties, misbehaved utterly, got shagged by (at least) one other man and got two (more, I assume) tattoos.

There are more red lights flashing here than in Amsterdam’s Hooker District.  In case you haven’t figured this out yet, allow me to list them:  habitual drunkenness (not a good feature of any relationship), licentiousness (love bites? strange men nibbling on her neck?  FFS) and multiple tattoos added without memory of the occasion(s).

In answer to your question, “How dare she treat me like this?”  comes this not-so-comfortable response:  because you let her.  You are a weak, pussy-whipped excuse for a man who is allowing this bullshit to continue.

It’s probably too late for redemption, but here’s the deal.  What you should have done, when confronted with the love bites, was demand that she get tested for venereal disease(s).  And when she refused to do so — and she would have, claiming that “nothing happened” (probably a lie) — you should have tossed her out of your life, without regret or compunction.

Which is what you should do now.  If you think that this particular leopardess is ever going to lose her spots, you’re delusional.  So not ditching the bitch is going to ensure that your future life in her company is going to be an unending catalog of drunkenness, infidelity and impulsive self-destructive behavior.

If you want to live the rest of your life — or the immediate future, anyway — under conditions such as these, go ahead, forgive her and carry on.  Just don’t expect any sympathy from anyone, because you don’t deserve any.

Somewhere out there is a better woman for you than this slut.  You probably don’t deserve her.

—

News Snippets

!SCIENCE!


...yeah, this is going to end well.


...see above.

Darwin Award contenders:


...betcha never saw that one coming now, did ya?


...cops probably pushed him off, just to save on paperwork.

Doctors… what would we do without them?


...cause of death not pneumonia or smallpox, then?  [/surprised look]

The Right Stuff

Here’s an interesting situation:


...gives a whole new meaning to the term “jury duty”, dunnit?  Oh, wait:  “only open to law enforcement officers”?

…and for the curious:

The state has purchased five Daniel Defense DD5-P rifles chambered in .308 Winchester, fitted with scopes, suppressors and bipods, at a cost of more than $24,000.

Bipods and scopes… at 10 yards?  WTF?  I mean:

Seems like an awfully-complicated and expensive way just to whack a convicted murdering scumbag, but that’s Gummint all over, right?  I’m more of a traditionalist, in that I think the old “single bullet in the back of the neck” method would be just as effective, not to say much cheaper.

But no doubt someone’s going to have a problem with this.

Okay, all jokes aside:  I happen to be a supporter of the death penalty and execution of the worst of scumbags, as any Reader of this website will know full well.  The method of execution is irrelevant.

We’ve tried making it a kinder, gentler way of seeing off a scumbag by using the oh-so gentle lethal injection — following all sorts of issues with hanging, decapitation, electrocution and the gas chamber (itself an attempt to make killing someone less brutal).

Well, the injection thing has been cocked up so many times, and is so beset with difficulties in terms of lethal drug supply and so on, that Idaho has decided to go with what is surely the most effective method of execution:  gunfire.

Let’s not get squeamish about all this.  If you’re going to execute someone, it’s best to make it quick, simple and effective — something that the murderers probably didn’t afford their victims, by the way — and death by three .308 bullets to the heart is about as effective as any, short of another old way of using gunfire as punishment:

Effective, but loud and very messy (“Cleanup in lane 2!”).

Yeah, this is all very ghoulish and brutal and stuff, but just remember who’s on the chopping block here, being the worst of the worst:  child murderers, people who killed someone for a few dollars at a 7-11, men who raped and tortured women before murdering them, etc. etc.

These people do not deserve to live, so fuck ’em.  A .308 bullet to the heart is all they deserve.