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One More Kindred Spirit

Funny Stuff, Good Stuff, Old Fartism

My loathing for seagulls has been well documented (here, for example), so when I saw this little snippet, I was mightily pleased, oh yes I was:

A blue plaque has been installed to commemorate a man made famous – for swearing at seagulls.

The honour was cheekily bestowed on Huw Davies – who was renowned for shooing the pesky birds away with expletives.

Huw, from Aberystwyth in Wales, was previously honored with a joke plaque on his favourite bench when he passed away.

And the new one (which is not as funny because OMG swearwords doubleplusungood):

I wish that I could achieve such fame, for so trivial a cause.

I suspect that

Kim du Toit
Used to sit here and shout
FUCK OFF!!! at authority figures

would be tripleplusungood, even though it’s a very accurate summation of my lifelong attitude.

But yet, we persevere.

Boats, Floating Thereof, Whatever

Men & Women

Here’s a happy little tale of how a couple decided to jump the gun, so to speak:

A couple have revealed that the secret to their happy and strong relationship is allowing each other to sleep with other people. Zoe Grey, 31 and her partner Matt, 36, live together in Cambridgeshire with the four children they have between them. Former soldier Matt, who had been cheated on by previous partners, initiated the conversation with Zoe about starting an open relationship. Keen to experiment [I bet she was — K.], Zoe agreed, and she admits she’s never been in a healthier relationship.  “There is so much trust between us. The fact we can have fun with other people eliminates the worry of cheating, lying, and sneaking around. The connection we have together is so strong, and our relationship is so solid.”

Then:

Zoe continued: “After a couple of months of doing this, I told Matt that I also wanted him to have fun with other women and let me know about it, and now we have a fully open relationship and have fun with other people together. At first, he was shocked that I wanted him to do it too. It was alien territory for him, and he was nervous when we first went to a club, but now we have the most amazing relationship and we are happier than we have ever been.”

There was a time when I would have got all bent out of shape by stuff like this, but as the title of this post indicates, I don’t care anymore,

My prediction, however, is that this little menage-à-plusieurs  is going to end in tears, and the four kids are the ones who will end up suffering — all so that their feckless parents can fuck other people without guilt.

In the interests of full disclosure, however, here are a few pics of said sexual explorers:

Quite a banging [sic]  bod for someone who’s popped four sprogs… but then again, the real question arises:

Why do people have to advertise life choices like this to all and sundry?  Couldn’t they just have gone on in private with none being the wiser?

But no:  I guess this is par for the course among the Tik-Tok attention-seeking generation of Millennials these days. More’s the pity.

The Seven Wonders

Good Stuff

Sparked by Idiot Joe Biden’s yammering about the “nine” wonders of the world, I put it to you, O my Readers:

What would YOU consider to be the modern-day Seven Wonders of the World?

Some parameters:

  • no natural stuff e.g the Grand Canyon;  the original Seven were man-made, e.g. Hanging Gardens, Colossus of Rhodes etc., so only man-made stuff should be considered
  • you don’t have to rank them, that’s too difficult not to say irrelevant
  • for the purposes of this exercise, let’s say that “modern” is anything  built or made since 1900
  • longevity is not important;  most of the original Seven Wonders have long since disappeared

In case anyone’s wondering or forgotten, the original Seven Wonders of the Ancient World were:  the Great Pyramid of Giza, the Colossus of Rhodes, the Lighthouse of Alexandria, the Mausoleum at Halicarnassus, the Temple of Artemis, the Statue of Zeus at Olympia, and the Hanging Gardens of Babylon.  Today, we would call them “tourist attractions” — i.e. things worth traveling to see.

However, times have changed, and what with construction and engineering techniques making structures less awe-inspiring a task than before (not to mention fugly, e.g. London’s Shard), let’s not confine ourselves to structures, and include things like the jet engine, penicillin or the Internet — stuff that would make a time-traveling visitor from (say) 1860 go “Whoa!”.

Have at it in Comments.  My own opinions are below the fold, so as not to influence anyone.

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Well, That Wasn’t Any Fun

Health

Last night I suddenly developed the most excruciating pain in my lower abdomen.  Came out of nowhere:  one minute I’m searching for pics of Carol Vorderman’s extensive superstructure, the next I’m doubled up on the couch and moaning like a Democrat forced to sing the National Anthem.

So did I go to the ER?  Silly rabbits, I’m a MAN — of course I didn’t wimp out and seek medical attention.

Now before anyone starts yelling at me — especially those Readers of the Female Persuasion — lemme ask y’all this:

What if it had just been gas, somehow bottled up and unable to be released?  You’d feel like a proper Charlie if the ER doc were to look at your CAT scan, shake his head sorrowfully and say, “Take two Gas-X and call me in the morning”, with the unspoken corollary:  “What a total pussy.”  That was not going to happen.  So I waited overnight.

However, by this morning the symptoms had not abated — got worse, actually —  so I girded up my loins and went off to the local Doc-In-The-Box to get a CAT scan.  But the nearest one had closed down for good.  So I went to another one close to the apartment, and they were open but — their CAT scan machine was broken.

By this time, the combination of frustration plus pain in my gut — I was driving bent over like a Florida geezer — made me say “Fukkit!” and so I ended up at GlobalMegaHealthCorp LLC, at the other end of Plano, FFS.  I went in promptly at 9.15am, was seen promptly at 11.15am, had the CAT scan promptly at 2.30pm, and was on my way to CVS promptly at 4.05pm.

Which is why I always try to go the the little ER clinics for visits of this nature:  in, scanned, diagnosed, prescribed and out in generally less than 90 minutes.  If they’re a little busy.

Anyway, I suppose you want to know why I’m still doubled over in pain, waiting for the Blessed Medications to kick in?

Diverticulitis (non-complicated), treated with Cipro and some other antibiotic.  According to Doc Russia (who diagnosed me correctly over the phone while I was waiting in the ER room), I should feel better by tomorrow.

Let’s hope.  In the meantime, I’m debating whether to pop a Tylenol-3 (the one with codeine) to help me get through the night.

Of course, I’m also counting my blessings.  This pain could have pointed to something really foul like a hiatal hernia, appendicitis (even though I’m too old for that shit) or the Evil Cousin of diverticulitis, a perforated bowel (which can seriously fuck up your weekend picnic plans).  Not to mention all the other shit down there that can creep up on Olde Pharttes and kill us like a smackeroo-blurdy.  That part of the body is like a WWII German minefield, with stuff just waiting to kill you.  But it wasn’t any of that.

Oh, and one small piece of other news:  my weight has gone down from 265 to 240, in just under two months.  My goal:  Army weight (205-210), or maybe even less if I can stick with it.  Here’s me, in approved SADF browns, circa 1977:

So there’s that, which is good.

Lures

Lies and Untruths, Marketing / Advertising

Last week I received in my email something from these guys:

…with the following message:

Walmart, a company who’s known to be one of the biggest supporters of conservative causes, has just bowed to evil liberal demands.  Here’s what happened…

Several major companies (including Amazon, Walmart, Barnes & Noble and more) have decided it’s against Americans’ best interests to carry a new book on their store shelves.  And the reason why should have you fuming…

The book is called The First 72 Hours.

The First 72 Hours was written by one of the world’s leading survival authors, Damian Campbell.

And the reason these companies won’t allow you to buy his book is because it exposes how the left is using the current political unrest to steal our freedom in ways we never imagined…

And it teaches you how to prepare for the coming collapse.

The secrets in this book are well-known by government insiders…

And Campbell has put them all in this book in an attempt to warn you about what is going to happen in the next few months.

Since Campbell isn’t allowed to sell this book in stores we convinced him to let us hand out a few copies at a deep discount.

Right now we have permission to give 50% OFF copies to the next 288 people who click here.

However, once you get access to this book you’ll need to review it ASAP.

I can’t tell you when the S will hit the F. But I can tell you Jesus was right that no man knows the hour – and that we should be vigilant and prepared.

Get your copy of The First 72 Hours for 50% OFF before they’re gone… and before it’s too late.

Being of a suspicious nature when people send me stuff and want me to spend money with them, I did a little investigation for myself.  I didn’t look at Walmart, because the next time I buy a book at Wally World will be the first time, and the last time I bought anything at B&N was when we were still homeschooling the kids.

So onto Teh Intarwebz I went.  A whole two minutes later, I came across this:

…so the second paragraph contained at least one lie, which kind of pissed me off right there.

But my ire having been aroused, I decided to do a little more digging, and found the following:

  • the book is under 100 pages long — and for $40, I want something a little more substantial than what is basically a bullet-point list.
  • it’s apparently published by “Prepared Patriots”, which printing house doesn’t exist.
  • However, there is a website called PreparedPatriot.com, which sells the usual tactical / survival stuff.  Are they the “publishers” of said book?  Well, no — at least, I found no mention of the book anywhere on the website.

Well, what about this “Firearm Man” guy (or org)?  Searching for “firearm-man.com” takes one here:

  • “firearm-man.com” is just a fucking newsletter;  basically, a means whereby people can send out spam to whoever.

So:

Fuck them, fuck their newsletter, and by the way, fuck Damian Campbell and his poxy little expensive brochure.  I wouldn’t accept it as a gift, now.

Caveat emptor, y’all.