Three Oldies

…that I inexplicably still find sexy.  I know I know, they are long past their “Use By” date, but still…

Cyndi Lauper (75)

I just think she’d be great fun.

Marsha Blackburn (70)

Like so many beautiful women in this country, she’s a native of Laurel, MS.

Blythe Danner (79)

Always loved her, and would love to meet her in person, as long as she didn’t bring her dreadful daughter (Gwyneth Paltrow) along.

3 Inexplicable Things

… that happen when you’re getting old and confused, and make a shopping list to help you remember why you’re out driving your car.

  1.  You read “Scope” on the list, and end up buying both the mouthwash AND that cute little 4x Leupold that’s on sale at Bass Pro.
  2.  There’s an item called “Gum” on the list.  Because you left your reading glasses at home and refuse to ask for help, you buy both Doublemint AND a .22 rifle at Academy, just to be on the safe side.
  3.  You see “Screwdriver” on the list, so you stop off at Lowe’s AND get arrested for DUI on the way home.

Don’t even ask me what happens when you read “Coke”…

This getting old thing ain’t for the faint of heart, lemme tell ya.

3 Inexplicable Things

Haven’t had one of these for a while, so here goes:

3 People who should have retired a LONG time ago, but haven’t.

  • Dog The Bounty Hunter — FFS, he’s like 200 years old, still epitomizes White Trash with that trailerpark hairdo and bad-boy-gay clothing which would get him thrown out of any respectable biker gang.  And his schtick is older than my withered ass.

  • Joan Collins — another oldie well past her sell-by date, but still acts and dresses like she’s 25.

  • Nancy Pelosi — this drunken old gargoyle continues to cling to power long after she’s made enough money from it to last four lifetimes, and done more than her fair share to make the U.S. a socialist country.

Feel free to add your suggestions to substitute for the above, but they’d have to be really good to beat this lot.