One Out Of Three Ain’t Bad

Consider this pic of one couple’s happy day, and spot what causes my nuts to ache:

No, it’s not the bride’s tattoo — I’ve pretty much given up on that irk — and in fact she’s the only pretty thing at this little ceremony.  Nor is it the female minister / ministress, who looks like she was just pulled out of a company meeting, complete with name tag.  (FFS, if we’re going to have female priests, can they at least wear the fucking uniform?)

Anyway, none of those get up my nose as much as the groom’s medieval haircut.

This seems to be all the fashion nowadays, and I think it’s uglier than Hillary Clinton’s fat naked buttocks.

The only consolation I’m going to take out of this is that when his grandchildren look at Pawpaw’s wedding-day pics, they’ll laugh their asses off.

I’m assuming, of course, that he’s capable of actually fathering any children, because that’s not clear (unless the bride is already pregnant hum hum).  Even then, her rather alarming stomach protuberance isn’t evidence of any prowess on his part, because that might be / probably is Homeboy Jamaal’s chocolate babycake cooking in her little oven, and this Ginger Childe Harold is just the substitute father.

And by the way:  brown shoes at a wedding?  Oh well, it least it wasn’t Adidas sneakers or flip-flops…


  1. Fabienne: I was looking at myself in the mirror.
    Butch: Uh-huh?
    Fabienne: I wish I had a pot.
    Butch: You were lookin’ in the mirror and you wish you had some pot?
    Fabienne: A pot. A pot belly. Pot bellies are sexy.
    Butch: Well you should be happy, ’cause you do.
    Fabienne: Shut up, Fatso! I don’t have a pot! I have a bit of a tummy, like Madonna when she did “Lucky Star,” it’s not the same thing.
    Butch: I didn’t realize there was a difference between a tummy and a pot belly.
    Fabienne: The difference is huge.

    Butch: You think guys would find that attractive?
    Fabienne: I don’t give a damn what men find attractive. It’s unfortunate what we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the eye is seldom the same.

    Fabienne was the completely charming Maria de Medeiros who had done Henry & June with Uma Thurman which connection may be how she later got to be Fabienne. But I go on.

    That pic is definitely not what Fabienne had in mind. The chick in that pic is six months gone.

  2. She’s not a priest, it’s a civil procedure. The name tag probably is a requirement for all public facing public officials there.

    I can live with the shoes, the the fit on that suit is just horrendous. Come on kid, we don’t live in communist Poland.

    1. Ugh, you may be correct about the officiator being a State apparatchik. Come to think of it, not even the Unitarians have “churches” that look so bleak.

    2. Even that’s too generous. She’s the hotel manager with a certificate from the Universal Life Church in Modesto CA

  3. So much is wrong with that guy.. the highwater pants, brown shoes, hair style. FFS, I got (re)married on the beach last year and still had the fashion sense to wear black dress shoes.

  4. That whole scene is damaging to eyes connected to a brain.
    A lot of people are complete idiots these days. And no, it won’t last.

    1. GS,
      Are you saying that Prize Catch will be back on the market soon?

  5. Is there any reason to believe that this picture was not composed specifically for the purpose of driving Normals batshit crazy?

    1. Sadly, I believe you may be correct — given that Gen Z seems to have given up on the whole idea of marriage, this may well be a setup.

    2. If so then it could’ve been much worse. They’re the same race, they’re opposite sexes, the tat is moderately discrete (as these things go), the priestess/officiatrix/whatever isn’t a blue-haired, be-rainbowed landwhale, etc.

  6. The bit that drew my eye is the hem of his jacket stuffed into a pocket.

  7. The chick is actually pretty hot

    I’m pretty sure I did her O-ring the last time I was in Cali on business

  8. Men’s styles have absolutely hit the shitter in the past decade or two.

    Whatever happened to the rules of fashion for men that black goes with metal colors like black, gray, blue and browns go with natural or woods colors like brown, green and such. This brown shoes with blue or gray suits is appalling and hideous. The high water pants cuff is absurd as well. and this dude’s haircut looks like I should be handing him the reins to my horse so the horse can be combed, watered and fed.

    At least his shirt tail is tucked in. Nowadays that’s the sign of high fashion.

  9. I bought a black suit for a grand daughters wedding last year. the young salesman assured me that brown shoes were quite acceptable to wear with black or blue suits; Bletchhh! Just maybe, I could wear oxblood colored shoes with a blue suit but I’d feel rather self conscious.
    I’m sorry but that young man with the bad haircut and suit looks like a poorly done circumcision.

  10. That pudding bowl haircut is ubiquitous in the north of England these days. It’s quite bizarre and stupid.

    Also, the click looks pregnant to me.

  11. If she’s not pregnant, the belly is the warning that she’ll soon add 50 or more pounds. As for the haircut – are the Brit’s so poor these days that they have to cut their hair themselves, by the hallowed Puritan custom of putting a bowl on the head and snipping whatever sticks out?

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