Useless Recommendation

Of course, pretty much anything that the loony Gwyneth Paltrow suggests is going to be utter bullshit, but this one… oy.

Finding the perfect gift for the tricky men in your life can prove near-impossible at times – but luckily Gwyneth Paltrow is here to help in the form of her rather unique Father’s Day gift guide, which not only suggests a $64,000 trip to the Arctic Circle as a potential present, but also a male sex toy — a $219 hands-free prostate stimulator from the brand Hugo.  (“The base and tip of the device each contain a powerful vibrating motor: the insertable head massages the prostate while the external head delivers satisfying vibrations to the perineum.”)

Frankly, while even the description makes me a little queasy, the only acceptable sex toy that I’d accept to massage my prostate and taint would be Salma Hayek, and even then I’d have to run that by New Wife first.

At least her nails are short and manicured… and you can all stop right there.


  1. He sed “taint”. chuckle

    I think Brad slammed her gash too hard and it twisted the base of her brain stem. She’s been a nasty fuck ditch ever since.

  2. I will start using the epithet, “you make Gwyneth Paltrow come across as sane and rational” from now on

  3. Had my prostate “massaged” with 44 radiation treatments last summer. Yeeeeah, I’m good, but thanks anyway, and bless your heart.

    (For those who don’t already know, “Bless your heart” is a polite southern way of saying F.O.A.D.)

Comments are closed.