A Question Of Equipment

Okay, so you’re faced with this situation:

Furious drivers have blasted police after two eco zealots ascended two 275ft masts and are dangling over the M25, causing Dartford Bridge to close for more than 17 hours today but no officers have been sent to fetch them down due to ‘safety’ concerns.

Police said the operation was ‘complex’ due to the height at which the protestors are currently situated, adding it would take time to get them down.

Like most of my Readers, I’m positive that getting these little shits down shouldn’t take any time at all, with the proper equipment.

I’m thinking a decent shotgun with 28-30″ barrels, such as something sidelock-y from Abbiatico & Salvinelli, would do the trick:

…or, if you’re of the Over And Under persuasion, their Excalibur model:

…but I confess that I’m a little stumped as to the best gauge (12 or 20?) and ammo choice:  bird shot or buck shot?  (e.g. would 12ga 1oz #7.5 be good, or better to go with 20ga ¾oz #7.5 for its higher velocity?)

The reason I’m unsure is that 275 feet up is quite a distance — much higher than your typical driven bird flies, and at the same time, the humans are much bigger targets requiring a beefier cartridge.

So:  what are your suggestions for the ammo, O My Readers?


Do we just say “the hell with it” and go with a good old sniper rifle, e.g. this Dragunov PSL in 7.62x54R:

…or if we want to stay British, this Lee-Enfield Mk4 No.1 (T) in .303:

While I like the shotgun option (for the challenge), that Mk4 makes one of my digits itch, oh yes it does.

While we may disagree as to the best equipment for this particular job, I think we can all agree that potting eco-zealots (suspended, running, stationary or all three) should be an Olympic sport.


  1. Just put up a sign that says “Watch for Falling Cocks”

    And the ones who play in the street need to get the Rachel Corrie treatment.

    1. Two ways: Nothing up, let them starve


      Are there no helicopters in Britainland? If any, any shotgun would work

  2. Leave em alone and they’ll be back down in less than a week. Then, put them at hard labor until such time as they have payed for their costs. Yes, you can get blood from a turnip, the IRS does it all the time.

  3. The Lee Enfield since it’s in Great Britain.

    But if they are devoted environmental wackos, they should want to stay there. And you can also use this as a training exercise for SAS or Royal Marine candidates. Send them up with just enough handcuffs to affix all of them to the bridge and see how they do. Full credit if all the protestors are handcuffed to the bridge. Partial credit if some jump but don’t stop traffic. If they jump and interfere with traffic, passing score but extra PT afterwards.

  4. I concur with your assessment and method of correction. Since it looks like they were smart enough to use safety harnesses, you don’t have to worry about falling bodies making a mess on the pavement or the hood of someone’s car.

    A side note: That sniper rifle above the SMLE is a Romanian PSL. The Dragunov and clones have about a 2 inch gap between the front of the trigger guard and the back of the magazine. The PSL has no such gap.

      1. The Dragunov uses a beefed up SKS action.

        The PSL and Yugo variants use a Kalashnikov action.

        1. Does the Dragunov have a milled receiver like the SKS or a stamped receiver like the AK? I couldn’t find anything definitive on my, admittedly, brief web search.

  5. Don’t start shooting until they attempt to come down. Keep them up there … a sort of gibbeting if you will.

  6. Open the competition to the public and if you plug one, your girlfriend gets a teddy bear.

  7. 275 feet straight up would be over 100 yards if you’re taking your shot from the side and that seems a bit beyond useful range for the 12 gauge, especially with birdshot. Unless your goal is to make the targets, er, “activists”, miserable and scared. Repeatedly peppering them with birdshot might be entertaining but would become tedious after a bit.

    When it comes time to put paid to the whole exercise there’s no need to go with that delectable Druganov/PSL: heck, a good ol’ thutty-thutty would be adequate at that range.

    1. #2 buckshot.

      Heavy enough to get the job done, light enough to not go through multiple walls.

      The local PD here did a test in their shoot house.

  8. A series of sorties by “water bombers” with their “red-dyed” cargo – it could be a test as part of their training.

  9. I was going to say that birdshot probably won’t reach these denizens with much oomph. If they are tied in with harnesses then someone is going to have to climb up to retrieve the corpses if and that’s a big if, they are feeling charitable.

    I guess let them stay up there and let traffic resume. The problem is if these birds decide to evacuate their bowels while up there.


  10. Cable Stay bridges use a piece of equipment that cleans and wraps the individual cables after all the strands are laid. They are quite large and travel along the stays from bottom to top and back. Send one up to “clean” the cable. Reopen the bridge.

    Option 2 – Re – open the bridge after posting a sign that says ” Watch for falling idiots” Those Cable stays are not directly over the roadway.

  11. Ammo being expensive and/or hard to find, plus this being Britain, I’m voting for one of those hopped up air guns they sell applied to the testicles.

    Sporting, doesn’t waste ammo and makes an amusing splat when they hit the pavement.

    Sell tickets to fire that air gun to those being inconvenienced by the bastards to cover costs.

    Win, win, win and win.

  12. Suppressed 22LR with subsonic ammo. Good range, sufficient to task at hand, and nearly silent. (or at least quiet enough that it’s unlikely that you’ll get caught)

  13. I keep thinking electrical current, slowly increasing in strength ! Yes, I know everything grounded but that can be ‘bypassed’ temporarily.
    Just trying to decide between one jolt or multiple jolts starting out harmless
    at first and building in strength every few minutes !
    As already mentioned, I think best approach is LEAVE THEM THERE.
    No food, no water, NOTHING and DARE them to try and come down.
    Taken to extreme, they will die up there !

  14. If sporting, 10 gauge full choke goose gun with #4 shot just to pester them. Otherwise, leave the scum up there and shoot at them when they come in range trying to come down.
    The Left needs immediate, harsh consequences for their actions and politics, always.

  15. I just read the article, and see there was much more than the bridge danglers.
    These loser assholes crave attention. Just ignore the bridge danglers and drive on, run over the street sitters, arrest the spray paint vandals with a dose of truncheons. The Left needs immediate, harsh consequences for their actions.
    BTW, I see one of the danglers is a bridge engineer. Just how does he suppose that bridge would come to be without coal, gas or oil energy? Does he want to go back to Roman stone arches? Where will he get the energy to mine and make the mortar, or will he go really primitive and use loose laid stone?
    I really, really would love to find a big isolated island and dump a great mass of Eco-Weenies there to try and survive on their unicorn fart fantasies.

  16. The danglers on the lines don’t block traffic; let them sit. At some point they’ll get hungry enough to come down, or they’ll fall and dangle on their safety lines. Good lesson for all.

    If there are sitters on the pavement, just thrown them over the side into the Thames. And the police won’t even have to do it; I’m sure some aggrieved commuter would happily throw them over the side for you.

    Problem solved.

  17. Personally I’d leave the cunts to dangle.

    An amusing alternative would be to set a large track laden with petroleum based products on fire underneath them, and let the fuckers roast.

  18. For the ones that glue themselves to the roadways, just snatch them up and move them to the side of the road out of traffic. Then glue them back down, with lots of glue all over their bodies and leave them. From that position they can protest all they want.

  19. Leave them in the air to rot. Buzzards gotta eat, same as worms. Thank you Josey Wales, much obliged.

    If you deal with them on the ground then try the Canadian Tar and Feather; Cover them in maple syrup then coat in bread crumbs then secure them in place for the Canadian geese to dine.


  20. “A series of sorties by “water bombers” with their “red-dyed” cargo – it could be a test as part of their training.”

    A helicopter with a fire-fighting dump bag. Full of cold Thames water. Delivered 12 times per day. So they are wet, and tired, because they cannot sleep. (From the few pictures it does not look like they are using a ‘jungle’ type hammock with a rain cover. Too bad, so sad.)

  21. Oh my. You are being far too boffin like for the situation.
    Dangling over means they are attached to something.
    Any caliber in FMJ with a decent optic and a few well placed hits should remove the anchor point thus swiftly lowering the intruders.
    They will be fine until the sudden deceleration.
    Maybe some local farmer can provide a few bales of hay for the approximate drop point ?

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