In ascending order of ghastliness:
- substitute the soundtrack from Oh! Calcutta! for the traditional funeral music
- French-kiss the widow / grab the widower’s cock
- invent a whole bunch of salacious but fictitious stories about the late when delivering the eulogy (e.g. “Fred always said that sex with a woman was okay, but not as good as the real thing”)
- take group photos, as at a wedding, only with people standing around the open coffin
- start a “throw the wreath” ceremony, and have Granny catch it.
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