In this case, I’m not talking about government bloat, but my own.  This fucking pointless lockdown caused by the Chinkvirus has quite enfattened me, not so much because of what I’ve been eating — okay, not that much — but because our gym has been closed for the past three months by our timorous apartment management.

I hate strolling, unless to a pub — but as the pubs have been closed as well, even that has been denied me.  AND we’re starting to approach the annual Texas Broil a.k.a. summer, so the desire to walk outside is lessened yet more.  Which means that New Wife has put her foot down and decreed that we will now be entering a period of No Sugar And Only Healthy Foods.  Fuck.

My coffee tastes like hot, rancid bilgewater and I can only imagine what weeks of salads and such are going to do to my already-tenuous control of my temper.  And I know, I know:

Me too.

I think I’ll just have to spend a lot more time at the range.  Which reminds me, I need to lay in a little more ammo, because reasons.


  1. It’s long past time to stop making candy coffee anyways. Coffee should be like your heart — cold, black and bitter.

  2. If you can afford it, look into the Carnivore diet.

    Dr. Shawn Baker on youtube and at is a huge advocate.

    Ribeyes for breakfast.

    I lost a bunch of weight last year, some of it on carnivore, and I’ve maintained through this whole ordeal on keto (mostly carnivore).

    I also just bought half a cow for the freezer.

    Edited to add: I just now noticed that is fully monetized and paywalled. Bummer. Dr. Baker’s YT videos are free, and there’s a bunch more carnivore content creators.

  3. On the topic of coffee, I used to drink my coffee light and sweet. Then I worked in an office where we didn’t have a fridge, so all there was to lighten my coffee was powdered cow shit, er, creamer, which I detest. So I started drinking it black and sweet. Then one year I gave up sugar for Lent, and never went back.

    It doesn’t take long to get used to unsweetened coffee, provided of course you start off with good coffee. The downside is there’s nothing to disguise shitty coffee (paging Starbucks), but I avoid shitty coffee.

    Guy I used to work with said he liked his women like he liked his coffee, black and bitter.

    1. Wasn’t much of a coffee drinker until I enlisted; but then, once in, I decided to drink my coffee black and completely unadulterated.
      I figured that the cooks would keep it within an acceptable range for their own protection.

      1. My daily percolator has the local grocery store (Weiss) brand, 100% Colombian coffee. Failing that (if they’re out, as they sometimes are lately) Chock-Full-of-Nuts Columbian.

        For the K-cup I generally have either Cafe Bustelo espresso variety, Donut Shop, or Donut Shop Dark. Sometimes something else if it catches my eye, but no flavored coffee.

        Non-shitty coffee doesn’t HAVE to be expensive coffee, and in fact the converse is often true (note the reference to Starbucks above).

        If I’m grabbing a cup outside, it’s generally Dunkin’ Donuts Dark Roast (yeah, I like my coffee strong). In a restaurant I’ll ask if it’s fresh, or frequent places like our local breakfast joint which goes thru coffee by the tanker-truck, so it’s always fresh.

        Oh, my coffee pot right now is a plastic electric percolator that’s probably 25 or so years old and has seen more use in the last year (since I started working from home) than in its entire life. My wife hints that there’s a stainless Farber in my future (and my birthday is less than two weeks away), I think she’s planning that because it’s easier to clean.

        1. OK, cool. We have a few of the brands you mentioned. We have the tall chrome percolator. Few months ago I finally got around to ordering an old skool percolator, for when the power goes out and I can use it on our small one burner propane stove. I’ve used both the stove and the pot a few times to familiarize myself with them and they work good.

          Here’s the 1 burner stove I bought and I use the 1 pound propane bottles (small, dark green) with it:

    2. My father once told me he used to put cream in his coffee until he was stationed at Johnson Island in the pacific and the powdered creamer there turned the coffee green. (Dad was color blind so I took that with a grain of salt.)

  4. Kim FWIW, I used to think the same of coffee without sucrose, however, using a de-escalation process of half a packet of raw sugar, then 1/4 then literally a dozen or so crystals working downwards over a few weeks, it gets to the point where your tongue will think that those 12 crystals are really sweet and they kill the acidity in the coffee just right.

    What is more, I find that McDonalds (yeah, go figure) coffee can actually be palatable with zero sweetener so long as the stuff is fresh and not cooked all day. Corolary, never bother ordering coffee at any of the other burger joints, they all seem to not know how to make it and it is invariably burned.

    At home I grind my own every morning and make it strong enough that it does not take more than those 12 crystals to temper the flavor. Surely the Mrs. will accede to such a miniscule amount of sugar. Has to be raw sugar, don’t bother with refined crap, it a) is not that sweet and b) tastes like crap once you adjust to the raw stuff.

    Good luck with battling gravity.

    I am usually around 290 which is 70 above where I should be for size, do the treadmill 4 days a week and sweat it off the rest doing yard, house and automotive repairs. Clear that that two of those 3 are difficult for an apartment dweller.

    Look at the bright side, you are not currently covered in poison ivy welts as am I. Had a battle with brush in the back 40 and did not notice how much of the damned stuff was about. Grrrrr.

  5. I think a lot of people are suffering similar embiggination. Unfortunately, by mentioning it, you’re basically inviting every Tom, Dick, and Harry to chime in with his own preferred weight-loss panacea.

    I’ll spare you mine:-).

  6. More range time is good for you, especially if you take twice the amount of ammo you expect to expend – humping ammo is good exercise, or at least that’s what the Sgt. always said.

  7. I have the opposite problem sort of due to the China virus. A late extracted tooth due to the dentist only seeing patients on an emergency basis and a reaction to the antibiotics that had me cramping so bad I had to go to the ER ended with me on a very low fat intake until I can get my gall bladder out. Ever try to eat enough food without taking in fat? Damn hard! I’ve dropped something like 25 pounds on my toothache diet. Not losing too much weight too fast has become a serious issue.

    Anyway, a while back I got a garmin smart watch that tracks my every action and calculates to a large degree every calorie I burn. So, the problem was I needed an app that would track my input and work with the Garmin app. Turns out there was a pretty good one called myfitnessapp by under all. The free version had everything I needed. It lets you put in what you eat by scanning the UPC on the food.. very easy! As I recall, you also have an issue with gout, so that app will also help you ration your, ah, excesses, in the red meat department.

    Any doctor will tell you the key to losing weight is accounting for the calories.. less input than output and you have loss. It won’t be a day by day linear thing… that goes up and down due to your sweat and even the weight of the food you eat. However, it will drop if you accurately account for the input and output. The cool thing is with the technology we have now, you can actually do that without being too obsessive about it.

    From there I will say, loss and healthy sustainable loss do depend on what you eat. Keto and Paleo offer options that, while they seem to fly in the face of the food pyramid or the veggie only crowd, does seem sustainable. Course a good vitamin suppliment array also helps round things out.

    As for me, yesterday I think I hit bottom and will really have to get serious about stopping this loss. On my 8 mile mountian bike ride I literally ran out of gas and had to take rest on the last mile or so as I was really weak. Scared the crap out of me. Regrouping for the next couple of days and getting back to a better place. Protein shakes are my new favorite thing. The surgeon I’m seeing noted that body builders pack in the protein shakes so that in their exercise their bodies won’t eat their muscles.

    Good luck with getting things in order! Sounds like new wife was an excellent acquisition whom is now paying major dividends. Nothing like the right kind of woman to keep us grouchy old men not just living, but thriving.

    1. Saturate liquid vanilla into a piece of wadded up paper towel, then jam the wad into the socket or directly onto the painful tooth and hold it there with pressure for 10 seconds. The pain will be completely gone. Ground cloves will work too but not nearly as good as the vanilla.

  8. Coffee: If the beans are 100% Arabica the coffee will almost certainly be excellent, if not, then not. I’m a coffee nut and have 6 different coffee makers i the house from an Italian espresso machine to an old aluminum perc pot from my mom. If I use Arabica coffee the results from the different makers are different but good.

    Strolling, ugh, me too. I found I needed a destination, a purpose, a goal. A fixed distance or route helps, but a destination is best. Our pubs and restos opened last week and I’m on the move.

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