1. “I’ve won the lottery! It’s the rare and elusive Negro Dildo Tree! YAYYYYY!”

  2. Sally always used only the freshest organic dildos for her weekend self-pleasuring.

  3. Babs, high priestess of Artemis of Ephesus, pauses for a moment of devotion, strokin’ the token.

  4. Pamela suddenly remembered her college years at Harvard, where she got an “A” in every class despite almost never being in one….

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