1. Be a chaperone on the first High School Band camping trip. It will be fun, they said. They are all nerds in the Band and harmless, they said. What could possibly go wrong, they said.

  2. Soybrophilus Americanus is an ugly stumbling example of the species, even as it begins to enter the chrysalis stage. Given the proper environmental conditions it can emerge as a mature, responsible adult capable of holding a job, being a good father, and voting responsibly.

    However, if the chrysalis is exposed to the wrong environment, a second, uglier larval stage may occur, more loutish than before. Its prospects are dim and, while possibly living to an advanced age, is likely to never fully mature.

  3. Clearly Newsom doesn’t need $1.4B to solve homelessness. I “put one up” with $1.99 worth of duck tape.

  4. And when you walk over and ask the bikers in the adjacent camping area to keep the noise down……

  5. What infraction does one commit to piss off the drug-addled, disease-ridden, urine/excrement-reaking world of a homeless encampment?

  6. Jerry was the first student to require tutoring in Evergreen College’s Tree Hugging 101.

  7. On the plus side, Homeless Camp justice is a lot more effective than County Court justice.

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