Until now I have gently poked fun at vegans on this here website because I find them amusing, with their “be kind to all Earth’s creatures” belief system, and their endless earnest attempts to persuade the rest of us that if we only try their silly lifestyle and diets, we will See The Light And Become Better People.

In this regard, vegans are very much like cyclists, libertarians and Rush fans, whom I likewise regard mostly with amusement.  (I have a post on Rush brewing and it should appear next week.  Try to contain yourselves.)

But of late, vegans seem to be joining the Perpetually Aggrieved Nation (e.g. feminists, LGBTOSTFU, social justice warriors, Democrats, Black Lives Matter! etc.), the first step of which is that they’re losing their sense of humor.  Here’s a great example.

William Sitwell is a serious foodie;  he’s a Masterchef critic and editor of the Waitrose in-house magazine for foodies.  Of late, however, he’d been becoming irritated by vegans:

Earlier this year, writing about 2018’s “foodie trends” in The Times, Mr Sitwell slammed an “avalanche” of vegan cookbooks.  “Then, like an avalanche of Tory ministerial resignations, came the vegan snowball,” he wrote.  “It had slow beginnings among shampoo-averse hippies in the 1970s, but now vegans are parking their tanks on all of our lawns.”

Then came the killer.

Food journalist Selene Nelson had written to William Sitwell with a pitch for a “plant-based meal series” for [Waitrose’s] magazine featuring recipes, commentary and news.
Mr Sitwell replied: “Hi Selene. Thanks for this. How about a series on killing vegans, one by one.  Ways to trap them?  How to interrogate them properly?  Expose their hypocrisy?  Force-feed them meat?  Make them eat steak and drink red wine?”

Needless to say, someone’s feewings were hurt.

HuffPost [uh-oh] and Food Republic writer Nelson said she had never experienced such hostility when pitching to a media platform. “I was just shocked because I had never had a response like that,” she said. “I said to him that it ‘seems like you have some strong opinions on this’.”
She told BuzzFeed News [uh-oh x 2]: “I’ve never seen anything like it. I’ve written about many divisive topics, like capital punishment and murder cases and domestic violence [uh-oh x 3], and I’ve never had a response like that to any of my articles or pitches. And he’s the editor. He’s representing Waitrose and he’s talking about ‘killing vegans, one by one’?”
She added: “If William Sitwell wants to continue eating meat and hating vegans, that’s his prerogative, but to have this attitude towards others when he’s representing Waitrose is seriously bizarre.”
On Instagram [uh-oh x 4] she wrote: “I’m a vegan because I don’t support the torment and slaughter of 156 billion animals each year, nor the catastrophic devastation it causes our planet [oh FFS].  “Belittling and mocking people who care about animals and the environment is neither edgy nor cool.” [oh yes it is, especially when they react like this bitch]
Nelson stressed she was not telling him to become a vegan [of course not] but instead asking him to include more plant-based recipes.  [for “asking” read “demanding”]

This despite the fact that Waitrose has just this month opened a new vegan section in their supermarkets.

Of course, Sitwell has been pilloried, flayed alive, had salt poured on his exposed quivering flesh and his head stuck on a pike [some hyperbole there].  And of course he’s had to apologize profusely — and unnecessarily — but he’s been fired by Waitrose nevertheless.

Like libertarians and trannies, vegans account for a miniscule proportion of the general population, and just like libertarians, vegans can’t see why everybody just cannot see The Truth of their belief system.  Unlike libertarians, however, vegans don’t have a sense of humor, but very much like trannies, they want the majority of the population to kowtow to their fucking pathetic lifestyle — hence the moral blackmail of terms like “the torment and slaughter of 156 billion animals each year, nor the catastrophic devastation it causes our planet”.

Fuck you, and your tofu cutlets.

Last night after I wrote this, I had a delicious lamb vindaloo curry.  This morning, I had my normal breakfast of boerewors and a boiled egg followed by some Noosa yogurt.  Tonight I’m going to have the largest ribeye steak in the Western world, and this weekend I’m going to go to Hard Eight and consume twenty lbs. of BBQ (try to avoid drooling when you open that link).

And for that mass slaughter of pore lil’ helpless animules, you can thank Selene Nelson and her ilk.  (I’ll also have cole slaw, mind you, but with creamy sauce.  Can you hear the cows screaming?)

Do I hate vegans?  I’m starting to, so are many others, and especially so when they act like this.  Like the toothy Janet Street-Porter, I wish that vegans would just get a sense of humor / develop thicker skins.  That, or kill themselves (ditto all the other Sensitive Snowflake groups out there), because like William Sitwell I’m getting sick of all their bullshit.

Let’s look at this in terms of another kind of belief system.  I’m an atheist, but I don’t spend all my time trying to convert religious people to atheism, and I think the atheists who get all bent out of shape by “In God We Trust” are stupid assholes.  I don’t care that society doesn’t cater to atheists, with all that “So Help Me God” stuff and swearing on Bibles etc.  I don’t ask for special atheist services [sic] nor do I get mortally offended if someone says “Bless you” when I sneeze.  I could, but I don’t, because these are inoffensive gestures and rituals.  If vegans adopted the same attitude, everything would be fine;  but noooo, make one silly vegan joke (like Sitwell’s) and it’s Teh Holocaust and Hitler and boo-hoo-hoo.

And if you want to know who people mock vegans, it’s because they’re ridiculous and so is veganism.

And then there’s this:

Perhaps a breed facing extinction because of their hyper-specialized diet and low birth rate is not the best example?  Just a thought.


  1. Going back into the 1990’s we had an 80 year old grand dad on my wife’s side of the family in Dallas who liked the fresh bread made daily at Whole Foods. One day he decided he could not longer stand buying his bread there and we asked him why. He was slim, trim and healthy but he said all those Vegan people who work and shop in Whole Foods look like they are about to die from aids and it was kind of scary going in there and besides that they all looked mean, no one smiling.

    That grand dad was a tough old bird, out lived two wives and continued to hunt doves with us until well into his 90’s and he did enjoy eating meat.

  2. One time, I was at an event where a lot of “alt” types were setting up booths. All the lefty tropes.

    The vegan booth was small, and the two people (a very fat woman and a very skinny man) were having trouble. They had a milk crate full of promotional material, but between the two of them, they couldn’t pick it up and put it on the table.

    So I walked over and grabbed it one-handed (it was only 20 pounds or so), and placed it on the table. Easy enough.

    …and then they started trying to tell me how great it was being vegan.

  3. My mother got sucked in by some food cultists who preached the gospel of RAW food. “Nature” never intended for us to eat cooked food. They were also big on fasting.

    She was post-menopausal at this point, as well as having hypothyroidism. Under this “healthy” diet, her incipient osteoporosis accelerated at a frightening rate. She developed several stress fractures in her spine, losing SEVERAL inches of height along with much of her breathing capacity. She has lost most of her strength, and is confined to a wheelchair in a nursing home. At this point, death will be a blessing.

    Words fail to describe my feelings towards these cultists.

  4. With this kind of thing I’m always reminded of the words of Douglas Crockford who after a long drawn out conversation about computer coding standards ended the discussion with “your sadly pathetic bleatings are harshing my mellow”.

    Where I think we so often go wrong is when we respond with what is obviously hyperbole. Clearly this guy wasn’t seeking to actually kill vegans, but pointing out the fact of just how annoying they are. The delicate one then takes his words seriously (because text is a lousy medium for sarcasm and hyperbole) largely because she can and next thing you know, the guy is out of a job.

    So, the response has to be derision. Merciless withering derision. It has to use language that puts them down for what they’re saying. This is why the NPC meme is such genius and the more the SJWs and snowflakes protest it, the more the meme is confirmed. It doesn’t attack their position, it doesn’t engage in hyperbole, it just belittles them for their stupidity. They need to start feeling bad and knocked of their precious pedestal so they know the smug self-assured myth of their delusions of adequacy exists only in their minds and they are objects of ridicule, not people to be taken seriously.

  5. Reminds me of a posting I saw of Facebook that went something like this:

    Bubba: I’d like to welcome you all to the All Barbecue All The Time group!
    Bubba: We’re going to talk about cooking meat, eating meat, and enjoying meat the way God intended!
    Bubba: That said, though, we recognize that not everyone feels that way. Any vegans here?
    Sally: Yes, I’m vegan. I want to thank you for your inclusivity and recognizing that there’s another way to live!
    Bubba: [uninvite Sally]

  6. If you lose your sense of humor, you’ll probably lose the culture war.
    Nobody really likes Oh So Serious Self-Righteous Scolds.

    1. Kim, forgive me but I had to post LGBTOSTFU on fecesbook just to see what kind of reactions I get. I admit it was after I finally stopped laughing enough to be able to type…

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