Some fuckwit sent me one of these email messages the other day.  I don’t know what he/she expected me to do, but I ignored it.  Then I got a follow-up email, threatening me with still worse consequences if I didn’t pay up, whereupon I replied as follows (using an anonymized go-between server):

I don’t know what you expected to get from me, but instead of money, here’s my response:
Do what you want, then fuck off and die.  Preferably from some painful cancer.  Even better, I hope your entire family dies from the same illness.
P.S. What you referred to as my “password”, isn’t.  You’re not even competent enough to threaten me.

Sheesh.  They must think I’m vulnerable, or something.  I wish I could spend ten minutes with one of these people — just me and a Sawzall.


  1. I find the websites where people scam the scammers to be wildly entertaining. Not only are they not smart enough to threaten someone properly, but they’re often too stupid to realize when they’re being trolled for months in some cases. I find myself entertained, because I have to believe these people are so excited to see that one of their pathetic attempts at phishing for someone’s data actually yielded a response only to realize weeks or even months later that they’ve been played for a fool (sometimes even after sending money of their own). That kind of schadenfreude always brings a smile to the face of that bad part of me I don’t let out very often.

  2. In the long-ago words of the Duke of Wellington in a similar situation, “Publish and be damned.”

  3. Unfortunately, you’ve just confirmed that your email address is valid. They blast out these emails to all and sundry in the hopes of a hit.

  4. Yeah, got one last week.

    Obvious scam, but one of the better ones because they did include personal information in it. However, all the technical baffle gab was so obviously wrong that it was clearly a load of bullshit.

    Oh, and visiting porn sites and doing things that I’d be embarrassed about? Nah. Not happening.

    I guess only the guilty need to fear.

    PS: I second what Quentin says. Never reply.

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