5 Worst Things You Can Say To New Parents

Ranked in order of increasing horribleness:

  • “Why do all newborn babies look like Winston Churchill?”

  • “Where did the red hair come from?”
  • “Well, that’s a relief:  he doesn’t look at all like me…”
  • Now I know why you guys got married so quickly.”
  • (about a baby girl ) “Wow… now that’s what I call a circumcision!”

Your suggestions in Comments…


  1. At a birth:
    Attendant: “That baby’s hung like a horse”
    Mother: “I don’t know WHERE he got that”

  2. Billy Ray and Bubba were out fishing one day.

    Bubba turns to Billy Ray and asks, “If’n I was to sneak over to your house when you wasn’t’ home, had sex with your wife, and she had a baby would that make us kin?”

    Billy Ray thinks for a minute and says “I don’t rightly know but it’d make us even.”

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