5 Worst Things To Hear On An African Safari

Ranked in ascending order of frightfulness:

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  • “Did anyone see where that wounded buffalo went?”
  • “Funny; I could have sworn that there were six lionesses in that pride, not five.”
  • “Sorry, man; I forgot the snakebite serum back at camp.”
  • “What do you mean, you left all the booze back at the airport?”

Your suggestions in Comments, as always.



  1. I really wanted to make a reference to “The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber”, but came up blank.

  2. – And here you thought you brought enough gun..

    – You know we don’t much care for dentists in these here parts..

    – Guess you’ve never been fu*ked by a lion…….. yet.

    – Got your run’n shoes on, gonna give you three steps..

    – Fee, Fo, Fi, Fum, I smell me a tasty white guy,
    smells kinda like hot dog water…

  3. What do you mean, your wife has decided to let you bring her along as long as we stop by a shopping mall every day.

    Your teen-aged daughter wants to know how many bikinis to bring with her?

    Your teen-aged son wants to know the wi-fi password?

  4. -“Sorry sir, but your ammo was seized before the flight as dangerous goods.”
    -“Don’t think I’ve ever heard of that caliber before, but I’ll take a look…. sorry mate, we don’t have it.”
    -“The medevac pilots have all gone home for the day.”*

    *I’ve actually heard this one

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