The King Is Dead

One wonders what King Gillette would think of his company’s current manifestation of anti-masculinity:

A new short film released by the shaving brand dedicates itself to tackling toxic masculinity in a video that relies more on berating men for not living up to the standards of feminists than selling razors.

Knowing but a little of what King Gillette was like, and knowing how many years of toil and financial hardship he endured to get his disposable razor blade to the market, I think he’d probably burn the whole fucking thing to the ground, and I’d be handing him the cans of gasoline.

In the grand scheme of things, I’d be one of the men refusing to buy Gillette products in protest at their foolishness.  But the truth of the matter is that I haven’t used a Gillette product in well over a quarter of a century, simply because I refuse to spend about $5 for a blade which lasts me less than a week*.  (Good old safety singles or bargain-priced Trac II blades for me;  and if I run out, I use a straight, or “cutthroat” razor without a qualm.)

As for Gillette’s parent company, Proctor & Gamble:  I have suffered untold toiletry privations at their hands, the miserable Cincinnati MFCS bastards:  brand “extensions” which end up replacing much-loved products, only to see said extensions later withdrawn, meaning that I have to find replacements for products I’ve used sometimes for decades.  Try to find, in supermarkets or drugstores anywhere, Old Spice Original Fresh Stick deodorant with the the light blue label — not the anti-perspirant variant, which smells like cat piss.  I’ve been using Old Spice Fresh sticks for well over fifty years, and now I’m forced to buy them online in packs of 24 because they are nowhere to be found otherwise.  And if that supply dries up, I’ll stop using deodorant altogether, because every other male deodorant on the market nowadays smells like an attractant for homosexual prostitutes during Fleet Week.)

To use Gillette’s line on P&G:  50 years of unswerving loyalty is “the best a man can get”, you incompetent fuckers.  Too bad it means nothing to you.

A pox on all of them.  I can’t wait for “woke” to become “choke”, and may they burn in the fires of toiletry hell.


*En passant:  I once tried one of those 5-blade things — a disposable — just for the hell of it, and it felt like someone was dragging the hair out of my face with sandpaper.

21 comments

    1. Well, it convinced me to stop using P&G products, which should be good for at least a couple of hundred dollars a year in lost sales. I just did a quick survey, and every one of their products I’ve been buying is easily replaced by other manufacturers. Everything from paper towels to shampoo.

      Just like Nike managed to convince me to stop buying Converse sneakers, after 44 years of wearing the things.

      That’s how easy it is to lose business.

      Of course, they’ll probably see a short term boost in sales for some products (the SJWs will go out and support their team, after all), but when that dies off in favor of the next trendy thing, the conservative customer base will still be gone.

    2. I see your point but I disagree. Advertising only works if it increases sales. Discussing my product doesn’t bring in money unless folks buy stuff.

  1. King Gillette founded a company (I refuse to use the term “brand” except for marking cows, TYVM) based on the economy of replaceable blades. Now that company has been taken over by marketeers catering to morons. I purchased a chinese-made pot metal safety razor which I keep stoked with Japanese Feather blades for pennies per month.

    I don’t mourn the passing of Gillette or P&G. Once companies stop providing value for their customers they deserve to go the way of the Sears Dodo.

  2. You’re right about Old Spice. I’ve used it since I was old enough to realize wimmins don’t like stank. Tried sprays, but Right Guard impressed me about as much as tear gas. Old Spice was good enough for my daddy and his, but they never had to put up with Sport, Alpine, Race Horse, Deep Swamp, and Back Bay aromas.

  3. I’ve been using a German safety razor and Wilkinsons for decades – lathering up with a fine cream from Truefit and Hill or Taylor of Old Bond Street is one of the few morning pleasures left. I see no reason to change to one of the multiblade abominations…. even when travelling.

    1. Agreed. A good German safety razor and some inexpensive DE blades beats that multiblade garbage every single day. I haven’t had the pleasure of Trufit and Hill or Taylor of Old Bond Street, but the old Prorasso (sold at Bath and Body Works under a different brand which eludes me right now) stuff works really well.

      As far as the Gillette stuff goes, the reason it feels like you’re dragging your beard out with sandpaper is because that is exactly how those “razors work”. The pulling and cutting is designed as a cheating method to achieve a close shave without having to know how to shave. That when coupled with alcohol-based shaving lather means Gillette actually has to put topical anesthetics in their shaving cream to allow you to walk away from the bathroom not feeling like someone poured gasoline on your face and struck a match.

      Regardless of their marketing campaign which at best seems ill-advised, their products just aren’t any good for your face. The best a man can get? Hardly. I can get better for pennies on the dollar from plenty of sources other than Gillette.

  4. Or grow a beard, six years ago when I retired for the last time I decided to grow a beard, last time was the 1980’s when I had a nicely trimmed beard, so I knew I could grow one. About once a week I use an expensive electric clipper with the right attachment to keep from being scraggly and clean looking, that also works on my neck to clean it off. Every few weeks my wife runs the clipper over the top of my head to clean up the bit of hair I have left and my savings in buying blades and haircuts goes into my bullet budget. Everybody wins and my wife asked why I waited so long to grow a beard again because she likes the way I look, never to old to learn.

  5. Kim, you can find the Old Spice Fresh Stick deodorant at your local Family Dollar store. I’ve been buying mine there for well over a decade.

    I’ve never been a huge consumer of P&G, but I’ll have to keep giving them the tiniest trickle of dollars in the form Dawn dishwashing liquid. Because quite frankly, I’ve yet to find anything competitive to do anywhere near the same job as effectively.

    I’ve also been buying blades at Family Dollar, and they’ll do. I’m sure the Dollar Shave Club’s offerings are superior, but I tend to avoid “subscription” sales deals like the plague.

    Jim
    Sunk New Dawn
    Galveston, TX

  6. I remember as a child smelling my dad’s Old Spice aftershave in the morning before he went to work. In my teens I tried all the other stuff, English Leather, Brut, British Sterling, etc., then changed to Old Spice (regular) (1974) for good, and still. I’m continuing my dad’s tradition, which my mother told me was also his dad’s tradition. Recently our son told me he got rid of all the disappointing gurly stuff and does nothing but Old Spice too – it’s easier and less expensive. Each Christmas I receive several stick deodorants and bottles of after shave and have enough now to last the rest of my life.

    Now that I’ve talked publicly about Old Spice it will disappear. It always works that way.

  7. Used a Safety-Razor early on with the old “brown” blades (they were the cheapest), and then the Wilkinson Sword dbl-edge blades in the Late-60’s (same price-lasted longer).
    Switched to the TRAC-II when it came out, and still use it (the later iterations with more than two cutting edges just clogged up with hair and were useless – whomever designed and signed off on the production of same should be shot, or shaved nude daily with their own product).
    As to the Old Spice stick – try Arm & Hammer.

  8. “…I think he’d probably burn the whole fucking thing to the ground.”

    Well, in effect, the “management” of Gillette just did exactly that. It’s all over but the sobbing.

  9. I’ve used a Schick Injector since I was old enough to shave. Once I figured out how to shave properly (ie. remember what my old man told me.) I couldn’t see a reason to change to anything different. And from what I’ve been seeing here and across the internet a single blade razor like a Schick or double edge safety razor like what Gillette used to sell with good blades can only be bested by a properly honed straight razor in skilled hands.

  10. I apologise if some of my comments upset my USA friends.
    Gillette started off by subscribing to Sloanism, and represented the worst of the dark side of free enterprise. Sell blades that last one day, even when the technology was available to provide better value for money. Profits for Gillette rather than fair value to the customer.
    I was at boarding school when Wilkinson started the stainless steel blade. Most of us dropped Gillette and went to Wilkinson. I am happy if Gillette falls off the face of the Earth
    So, Proctor and Gamble are probably doing the same thing in a different way. Why should I pay my money for a product that then uses some of my money to berate me? Brain dead. Hope they can find an alternative market for blades. Maybe tell the hairy armpit women that it is anti-social to not shave!

    Better still, why not use the detergent advertisements to lecture females about the fact that men are different; that they have different needs, desires, communication, interests etc, and women should darn well learn how to tolerate this, and live with it. Maybe that will help achieve World peace! ( I note that one of their dish-liquids is called “Fairy” – QED )

  11. I, too, recently switched to a safety razor after years of using plastic Trac II razors. The shave is much better, the razor itself is a quality tool, and the blades cost only pennies rather than the several dollars that Gillette charges for a single plastic cartridge.

    As for deodorant, if you can use a roll-on, both Ban and Dry Idea make unscented versions that literally have no perfumes in them at all. I’ve used them for years.

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