Innuendo, Death Of

The Brit version of our “dollar stores” (everything for a dollar) is named “Poundland”, and every year they spice up their Christmas commercials with something a little more daring.  This year was no exception:

Needless to say, the Perpetually Offended raced to the barricades, and the usual bullshit followed.

Now it’s my turn to be offended.  I happen to love using sexual banter, innuendo and double entendre  in my everyday speech.  I think sex is the spice of life, it’s certainly the spice of conversation, and as long as you don’t get crude and crass about it, it serves as both mental gymnastics and flirting.

I remember once having lunch with a coworker who happened to be an extraordinarily-beautiful woman — I mean, imagine a face like Monroe and a body like vintage Nigella, and you’re getting close.  As it happened, we decided to have dessert, and ordered:  she a strawberry sundae and I, a banana split.  When the dishes arrived, we both made a face of distaste.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.
She gestured at the maraschino sitting atop the sundae, and said, “I hate cherries.”  Then she asked, “And what’s wrong with yours?”
I pointed at the chopped nuts scattered all over the banana split, and said, “Ugh.”  (I hate mixing crunchy with soft textures in my food.)
Then I said, “Well, I’ll tell you what we can do.”
“What?”
“If you eat my nuts, I’ll pop your cherry.”

She laughed till the tears ran down her cheeks, then threw the cherry at me, still laughing.

I should point out that this incident took place in the early 1980s, when one could say stuff like this and not get arrested for aggravated patriarchy or whatever they call it these days.  Nowadays, of course, she’d complain to HR and I’d get crucified, lose my job and never be able to find work again.

I miss the old days.  God, I miss the old days.

Oh, and as for the story which introduced this post:  as much as I enjoy the occasional finger, I don’t really care much for the Cadbury’s version.

Asshole Law, Loophole Reaction

Give this man a 2A medal:

Sheriff Scott Jenkins of Culpeper County, Va. proposed a way to exempt citizens from newly proposed Virginia gun laws that might otherwise bar them from owning certain firearms.
In a Wednesday Facebook post, Jenkins warned that some of the gun laws proposed in the Virginia General Assembly would “disarm or handicap our law-abiding in their defense,” and in turn suggested he would confer the label of deputy on thousands of law-abiding citizens to include them in law enforcement carve-outs included in new gun legislation.

For those ignorant of Virginia’s counties, here’s where Culpeper County lies:

In other words, close enough to D.C. that would make a difference.

Quote Of The Day

From Diogenes:

“It was especially enlightening to later hear a panel of four millennial black women, three of whom graduated from Ivy League schools, the fourth from USC, drone on about inequality and rampant racism in our collective capitalist system, full of white supremacy.”

Read the rest.  It’s about CNN.

Clown Car Update

Sayonara  to Kamala Harris, you evil incompetent bitch.

Only a dozen or so more, then, who have to commit suicide errr fall over a cliff ummm slip on a bar of soap ehhh fall up a flight of stairs whoops drink a gallon of antifreeze I mean quit — until you-know-who decides to insert her foul presence back into the polity.

Stuck On Stupid

What I like most about the gun control movement is how ignorant (not to say dishonest) its proponents are.  Cue Joe The Moron:

While attending a private campaign event in Seattle, the former vice president reportedly called for a ban on 9mm pistols.

While speaking to attendees of the latter event, Biden claimed that he supports the Second Amendment. The 77-year-old then went on to ask “Why should we allow people to have military-style weapons including pistols with 9mm bullets and can hold 10 or more rounds?”

In targeting 9mm pistols, Biden has called for a ban on one of the most popular firearms in America.

In its annual report on the U.S. firearms industry, Shooting Industry reported that 9mm caliber pistols are the most commonly produced pistol and have been for many years. In 2017 alone, there were more than 1.7 million 9mm pistols produced in the U.S. Cumulatively there are tens of millions of 9mm pistols in the hands of law-abiding Americans.

The 9mm pistol is the choice of the nation’s leading civilian law enforcement agency, the FBI. Moreover, 9mm pistols are used by countless other federal, state, and local civilian law enforcement agencies. Biden alluded to the 9mm handgun’s military applications, but these agencies are not tasked with waging war on the public, but rather defending the public. This defensive application is the same reason that millions of Americans have chosen a 9mm pistol as their self-defense firearm.

So now Clueless Joe wants to ban 9mm pistols, because they are “weapons of war and have no application in civilian life”.

As Longtime Readers know, I have long held the opinion that the 9mm Europellet is a marginal self-defense cartridge, certainly in its full metal jacket variant, less so with a proper expanding bullet — although even that’s a stretch.

But if Gummint (in Biden form) wants to ban the guns which shoot them, allow me to offer this advice (with my favorite pictured):

…or of course my perennial favorite (once again with my recommendation):

Let’s not forget the only 9mm pistol I own (I mean used to own, before that terrible Canoeing Accident On The Brazos):

(sadly, most are out of stock at the link — I wonder why?)

…and there’s always this option, for my ex-military friends (with all the rest):

And of course, because this is Joe Biden, he never thought (or didn’t know) that a jillion cops (along with a few misguided individuals) use this Austro-POS 9mm pistol too:

(no link because Glock, ugh)

Now I know the question on the lips of all my Readers will be:  “Kim, why did you feature the Kahr 9mm pistols first?”

Simple answer:  I like Kahr pistols.  I think their action is superior to Glock’s, and their guns sit better in my hand too.  Your opinion may vary, as may your choice in 9mm pistols, and that’s perfectly okay.

But as I said earlier:

I think y’all know what to do.  And if you already own one (or two, or three, or four…) then you know what to do next:

…or even better:

Have at it.  Make Baby Vulcan smile.