…nor Cannes, nor even Monte Carlo. The best place to be on the French Riviera (the Midi, if we’re going to be travel snobs) is none of the above, but at the gorgeous Juan-Les-Pins.
Here’s its location:

You need to get there in late March / early April, because when the season starts, the place fills up with celebrities (they know a good thing, the bastards) and the prices shoot up accordingly.
It is probably my #1 Lottery Destination (depending on when those bastards get their act together and realize that I am a Deserving Winner). But out of season, even the Hotel Belles Rives is amazingly affordable.

…and that’s the ugly side. Imagine staying for a week or so in this hotel room:

…with this sort of view:

…with this restaurant (one of two):

…offering this kind of food:


Oh, and did I mention the terrace bar?

Of course, you’ll be wondering if there are any sights to see. If you can drag yourself off their private beach, you’ll see lots of the following:

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