Splendid Isolation

“Dear Dr. Kim”

June 7, 2023 Kim du Toit Advice

“Dear Dr. Kim:

“I met this rather hunky-looking guy online, and after a two-week flirtation, I agreed to go away with him to a romantic island destination.

“Well, the romantic holiday was anything but. No sooner had we got to the beach and gone for a swim when he ripped off my sexy bikini and raped me, right there in the sea as we were swimming together.

“So I asked him to take me back to my hotel room — where he tried to rape me again. Fortunately, I managed to escape from him, and called the police. He’s been charged with rape and now faces prison time.

“What should I do, going forward”

— Abused, UK

Dear Abused Idiot,

I know you’re only twenty years old, and perhaps you think that this should excuse your stupidity and naïveté. However, all 20-year-olds seem to think they know everything about everything, when in fact they know nothing about anything — even, it seems, when it comes to online dating, an activity with which they’ve supposedly been familiar since pre-adolescence.

So my first piece of advice is to burn your voter’s ID because you are too stupid to be allowed to vote. Add your driver’s license to the bonfire, for the same reason, and maybe your bus pass too, just to be on the safe side. (I’d suggest your phone too, but I don’t think the NHS covers the surgery needed to remove it from your hand.)

Just in case you haven’t got the picture by now, let me outline the parts where you went hopelessly wrong.

Online relationships are often not what they seem to be.
Two weeks’ online chat does not make a relationship — at least, not one where you should leave home and meet up in a totally strange place, by yourself.
Young Albanian men do not make the best boyfriends. Feel free to go online and look up for “Balkan gangsters”, if you don’t believe me. I also should point out that for most Albanian men, killing someone for a seemingly-trivial reason is not an unknown event. Calling the cops on them isn’t trivial.
The island of Rhodes is indeed a romantic place for a rendezvous. However, entrusting your wellbeing to the Greek police is not a safe bet — even though you lucked out on this occasion.

I would suggest that you confine your romantic searches to your own city, except that you live in the U.K. which, according to most news reports, seems to be populated with Albanian gangsters and rapists/murderers in general, some not even wearing police uniforms.

My final piece of advice, therefore, is to emigrate to a Scandinavian country — but just avoid dating young immigrant Arab men there because they basically taught the Albanians all they know. The soft blonde native Scandi men are a much safer bet.

—

Day Of Days

June 6, 2023 Kim du Toit Heroism

This morning I woke up early and celebrated the anniversary of D-Day by watching the first three episodes of HBO’s Band Of Brothers.

Okay, then, the real Easy Company:

Heroes. ‘Nuff said.

Hard Choice?

June 6, 2023 Kim du Toit Drive Time

SOTI:

Not even close. Bond’s Aston Martin DB5, by six lengths, with Magnum’s Ferrari 308 a distant second, and Vice’s Testarossa even further behind. All the rest are fugly beyond words

Your agreements / disagreements in Comments.

Stick To Souls, Padre

June 6, 2023 Kim du Toit Religion, The Gun Thing

From Da Church:

Amid a mounting debate in America over the constitutionality of gun control, Cardinal Joseph Tobin of Newark has entered the fray with a different argument: That people should voluntarily forgo their Second Amendment rights for the betterment of society.

“I honestly believe it is the best thing we can do to change the culture of violence that threatens us today,” Tobin said.

“Let’s voluntarily set aside our rights in order to witness the truth that only peace and never violence, is the way to build a free society that is lived concretely in our homes, our neighborhoods, our communities, our nation and our world,” he said.

Tell you what, Yeronner: you introduce unicorns into your liturgy first, because that’s where your “never violence” wishful thinking leads to.

And “setting aside rights” never ends well — as the revocation of the First Amendment’s freedom of worship would show you, after about half a second’s thought.

Just… shuddup, you self-righteous asshole.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the range.

News Roundup

June 6, 2023 Kim du Toit Bad News

And in other fake claims:

...and yes, we should — except that herring and mackerel taste foul and only Scandis eat them.

...you mean like I do every day of the week?

...to avoid being Epsteined, no doubt. Although she needs to keep her mouth shut about her new home, lest she be Putined.

From the Dept. of Education:

...key word: Manchester a.k.a. Boston North.

...didn’t we already deal with this back in the mid 2010s? No? Then nothing’s going to happen to these GLSEN assholes now, either.

In Immigration News:

...you fucking voted for him, you deal with him.

And South of the Border:

...seems a little extreme, although if said journalist were e.g. Nicholas Kristof or George Monbiot, I might reserve judgment.

...you don’t say.

...I warned them to stop those fucking spam calls.

In Health News, some more alarmist stuff:

...but you’ll die thinner, so there’s that.

And for our dose of Extreme Insignifica, with no links (you may thank me later):

...oh go on, I dare you, you fat fuck.

Finally:

...let’s examine the evidence:

And that’s all the news worth looking at.

Hickock’s Last Rifle

June 5, 2023 Kim du Toit Gratuitous Gun Pics, Gun/Ammo Tests

…in which ol’ Hickock45 goes through a whole bunch of his favorite bolt-action rifles, and decides which would be the last one he’d ever sell. Here’s the list (in case you don’t have time to watch the video):