Noise And Sighing

Here’s something in the Daily Mail  that I actually agree with:

Ignore this hyped-up nonsense about women’s sex lives

Turn on the TV or flick through the pages of any glossy magazine and you’ll get the impression that women in their 50s and beyond barely have time to catch their breath between steamy sex sessions with their (more or less) significant others.

Visions of flowerbeds abandoned, knitting unattended, reading glasses discarded, Marks & Spencer shapewear scattered underfoot as the nation’s menopausal matriarchs maintain meaningful dialogue with their nether regions. The only trouble is, it’s all hyped-up nonsense. This notion that our sex lives begin at 50 is not borne out by the facts.

And while I don’t doubt that Carol Vorderman et al are having a super time boudoir-wise, for most women the reality is rather less thrilling.

A survey of 5,000 Brits has found that 47 per cent of women aged 50 to 54 had not enjoyed any intimacy in the previous three weeks, rising to 52 per cent for those in their late 50s. Among women in their early 60s, that figure rose to two-thirds.

Three weeks?  Among women of my approximate vintage, I’ll wager that the time period can be measured more accurately in months — except that most people lie like Clintons about their sex lives.  They may be too ashamed that the last time they had any nookie was New Year’s Eve, and even then it was more like a drunken fumble before both participants passed out.  So when asked the question, they’ll cross their fingers and say “Quite recently, actually.”

Considering that most of the women in Sarah Vine’s article can most charitably be described as whores (media, attention-seeking, gold-digging, power-chasing whatever), it doesn’t surprise me that their concomitant sex lives with toyboys, ageing billionaires and their male celebrity counterparts are going off like alarm clocks.

And still more to the point:  when did the details of people’s sex lives become anyone else’s business?  I know it pays to advertise, and if I know anything about men — and I do — it’s obvious that by these women blaring out the workouts that their well-trodden pudenda are willing to offer, at least some guys are going to go after the well-aged honey in those wrinkly pots.

But as Mrs. Vine points out, that’s not the way to bet when considering normal, non-celebrity women.


  1. 56. 4 years ago wife finished 2 years of menopause misery and then it was like a light switch turning off. I have no plans to leave her but a mistress is a damn appealing proposition

    1. HRT. According to a doctor friend, it can work wonders for a woman, and not just in the sex drive department.

  2. Like my usual idiotic self I got suckered into clicking on an ad to win a Coke Fridge. (Still waiting.) To enter the draw you had to accept one of the three free offers. One was for a dating site called Academic Singles. I thought it the least worst and signed up.

    Within a day I had seventeen responses and by the time I got tired of my silly little game and deleted my profile there were almost a hundred in my inbox. (I never replied to any; that would have meant subscribing and I am close with money.) My secret? I am 72. There is a drastic shortage of men my age out there, looking for women 65-70. Most of the women were graduates and a few had Ph.D.s.

    If youth but knew; if age but could.

  3. “…when did the details of people’s sex lives become anyone else’s business?”

    Funny idn’t it, how “everything genitalia” is front page news these days. When jethro klintin splooged on the blue dress it was like kicking the 3rd leg out and it’s been pedal to the metal ever since. I’m glad we don’t have to raise kids in this shitty environ.

  4. First off, about the 50 something ‘hos. A younger dude will bang anything they can get. We’re not known for being picky. It’s hardly an accomplishment to have a way younger guy doing you if you are a monied, halfway decent looking woman.

    Second, I have a lot of friends in the 50-80 region, mostly at Church. It’s been my observation that those that are diviorced, single, or widowed that if they want a woman in that age group there’s one around. ALWAYS. And as Mark Knopfler said in ‘Behind in the Rent’ – “they’ll be lonely, and happy to comply…”

    I’m recently divorced. Like shadeburst above, I joined an over 50 site because of the ads. Mostly to see what the market was like.

    Man, oh man, it’s huge. I had three deal breakers in my profile – weight, race, and age, and I’d get 100 hits every week within a 15 mile radius. Even in my social life, women 50-60 are plentiful.

    50-55, on that site, they are choosy. 55-60, not so much. 60+, fuggin desperate. I had to go private with my profile because of the shear numbers of grannies wanting to hook up pinging me. I’m not young and thirsty. There are places I won’t go. There’s a second wall at 60 that makes these single women nuts.

    that said, another observation about women in this group on these desperate yenta sites – They lie about their age and lie about their weight. You get a like that says she’s 54, looks every bit of 65. Says she’s ‘curvy’. Yeah. Round is a curve, but not what it means in that context.

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