1. It doesn’t count if it’s leftover from Sunday evening’s effort, but if it’s something that’s been building since Friday afternoon, that’s admirable.

  2. As my old platoon sgt would have said, “He wasn’t drunk. He had been drinking. If he was drunk he wouldn’t be capable of typing.”

    I don’t get drunk any more, the aftermath is just too much to bear.
    So I just drink til I get wobbly. Then I eat like a wild animal and go comatose immediately after. But even that is rare.

  3. MurphyAZ’s Rules for Drinking

    Always remember to make the house payment before you begin serious drinking. If you’re still employed, make the car payment first. You can live in your car, but you can’t drive your house.

    Determine your favorite beverage, and stick with it. (You build a tolerance, and do not risk the after-effects of mixing clear with brown, or beer, or wine.)

    Drink at home, or in a designated safe space where you will be allowed to “shelter in place” until you’re safely sober. Drinking and driving is never acceptable; there are too many LEO’s out there looking to make their quota or commission on your bad fortune.

    Drinking with your Ex is usually to be avoided at all costs. If they have not already sworn out a Restraining Order against you, why give them an excuse now?

    Make friends with the proprietors of a reputable liquor retailer. Open a credit line with them if you can. Always pay up on time. Feel free to tip them from time to time, or offer them one or two of your fine cigars, or a “sure thing” from your bookie. This will encourage them to deliver a shipment to you should you run out of liquor before you run out of sober.

    If you make a mess, CLEAN IT UP! Nobody likes cleaning up after a sloppy drunk. If you break it, FIX IT! And no slap-dash repairs, either. If you can’t perform acceptable repairs, hire a professional. Flowers with a feeble apology are usually not acceptable; but a bottle of 20 year-old single barrel usually is.

    “Day after” bragging about how much you “put away,” is just so teen-age. Telling tales of other people’s less than stellar evening is also bad form.

    Feel free to offer additions to this list if you’d like.

    1. ” Telling tales of other people’s less than stellar evening is also bad form.”

      …unless for blackmail purposes.

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