1. Yes sir. According to our printed program, the sacrifice of the virgin is scheduled for midnight. Until then the cash bar is open in the trailer behind us.

  2. READY FOR LOCKDOWN: Egon and Thusnelda model their Personal Protective Equipment, while standing behind their Universal Sanitizer.

  3. In some parts, The Burning Of The Crabs is a traditional part of the wedding ceremony, and a legal requirement to register the marriage.

  4. She wanted a traditional wedding and he wanted a kegger in the woods, so they compromised.

  5. Mother of the bride poses with her ‘daughter’ Anton… near the ‘van by the river’ the two share with a glee-filled menagerie of pet tortoises.

  6. Now, I ask you… how often do you see white-walls on a ‘van down by the river’? Classy!

  7. Astutely determining perfection is an unattainable goal — especially for residents of a ‘van down by the river’ — Anton (grasping beverage and unnamed ‘detainee’) figured two-for-three is a pretty good average for the cinder-catcher beneath the abandoned Webber.

  8. With a lot of improvisational time on his hands since he laterally-transitioned to a ‘van down by the river’, Anton demonstrates his impressive improvements — gravity-assisted! — to the old-style cinder-catcher beneath his foraged Webber.

  9. Seen here demonstrating his latest fun-filled improvement to the tired ‘ignite my flatulence behind my behind’ gag, Anton deftly frontally-directs his gaseous emissions to the smoldering embers in the Webber.

    [Say… I just had a thought. Do you think I could patent this?]

  10. As a recipient of the federal SHAP — Supplemental Hydration Assistance Program — a little-known offshoot of SNAP — Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program — astute voter Anton gladly accepts the offer of a ride to the polling place… because nobody with his BAC is in any condition to drive.

  11. Cletus promised bridezilla that there would be dramatic lighting at the ceremony and he delivered!

  12. Bubba and his wife Beulah, who decided to dress for the occasion, had finally paid off the note on their mobile home and had the traditional “Burning of the Note” ceremony.

Comments are closed.