Open Letter To The Republican Party

Dear Idiots:

I know you feel you have a desperate need for more and yet more money which you somehow think will further your cause in next week’s midterm election, and therefore the reason why I get several emails from you each day imploring me for same, using terms like “We’re out of time!” and “We face disaster!” when in fact neither statement is true.  What is true is that in reliably-conservative districts (e.g. most of Texas), the conservative guy is in no trouble at all — Ted Cruz is going to wallop “Skateboard Jesus” O’Rourke by more than 8 (and more likely more than ten) percentage points, so why does Ted need more campaign money when most Texan conservatives would rather sell their favorite gun than vote for any Democrat?

And by the way:  using Frequent Quisling Senator Susan Collins in your emails to appeal to me for money is a massive slap in the face.  This MDTR (more Democrat than Republican) bitch has been the proverbial turd in the soupbowl more often than I can count, so just because she did the right thing ONCE (in voting to seat Brett Kavanaugh) does not give you the go-ahead to use her as a figurehead for your fundraising.

The simple fact of the matter is that the Republicans are in little danger of losing in reliably-conservative districts except where they’ve allowed a total fuckhead to make it through the primaries (e.g. Roy Moore in Georgia Alabama* passim).  Where the Republicans are in danger is in marginal districts (e.g. in the aforementioned MDTR’s state of Maine) or where a few thousand illegal votes will have the effect of sending a Democrat to Congress (do I have to remind you of Senator Stuart Smalley’s victory in Minnesota?).  That is where the Republican Party needs to concentrate its efforts, but let’s be honest here:  most people have already made up their minds whom they will vote for, so any campaign money should be directed towards enlisting more poll watchers and oversight (i.e. to prevent voter intimidation and fraud) than on splashy TV ads which most people will ignore.

Yes, you will have my vote, as always;  in fact, voting for me seldom takes more than a few seconds while I punch the “straight Republican ticket” button.  (Primaries, of course, are a different matter:  there, I spend literally hours researching which Republican I think will be the best conservative and vote accordingly.  But the generals?  My voting choice is no longer an issue, by that point.)

So set your fundraising appeals accordingly, because I suspect that among conservative Republicans, I am probably part of the majority.  It may be too late for this election, but it may help you to do a better job with the money in future.


Kim du Toit

*Sorry, they all look alike to me.


  1. Kim, while I enjoy a spittle-laced vent as much as anyone, I must remind you that Roy Moore is not a denizen of Georgia, but rather our sister-girlfriend state to the west. You may have been referring to Roy Barnes, who does in fact live in our collective attic.

    Of course, we are much shamed by our aspiring Winnie-wannabe from the primordial ooze inside our perimeter who klepted through the primaries of Dimville this year. If elected she would keep the tire companies in business.

    Keep up the good fight!

  2. Politicians constant whinging for money puts truth to the thought that “stereotypes have basis in fact”. Peg Bundy with hand out may be pols patron saint. Anyway, enjoying the read then along came Susan Collins!
    Heard tell that one can get a foretaste of Hell by driving across west Texas at 55-MPH without A/C. To that thought add Collins as seatmate going on in floor speech mode. Ohhh the horror of such a nasally monotone.

    and a head slam into BOTH palms that Georgia’s aspiring Michelin Gal has come this far. Or is that Georgia is so far gone? But We Vuginyans have a’plenty on the plate with Timmy Kaine, his anti-fa son and the ruling dims of Northern “Northam” Virginia.

    Roll Tide

  3. I’ve been following with some amusement the Senate race between Bob Menendez (D) and Bob Hugin (R) in my own state of NJ. First Menendez was under indictment for corruption, and he appears to have an affinity for under-aged hookers. Second, M is running on his “record of public service” as opposed to Hugin who came from the private sector (which I view as a good thing). Third, not only did H come from the private sector, but he was CEO in Big Pharma (double-plus-bad you know). This is where M really gets footprints on his wiener, because Big Pharma is a BIG employer here in NJ, and badmouthing the company that provides your would-be voters paychecks isn’t a real good idea (unless of course you’re trying to get votes from people who don’t work at all).

    It’s a close race, and I sure it’ll fall within the Margin of Fraud. I’m sure both of my parents will be voting for Menendez, despite the fact that only one of them EVER lived in NJ and he moved out in 1960, and they’ve both been dead for over 30 years.

  4. Voting for actual candidates is quick and easy in the general election. Most of my time is spent looking at the ballot questions and voting against any new law and against any money borrowing.

    1. Word up, Bram. Down here the trick is SPLOST. Free money and you hate kids if you question it. I vote NO every chance I get.

  5. I don’t watch any broadcast TV so I don’t see any of the stupid political commercials, same with radio, I have my own music, mostly classical for listening in the Truck. As for stuff in the mail I live in a super solid Republican County NW of San Antonio and no Democrats get elected in our town so it makes the general election easy and politicians don’t waste much money on our zip code.

    I like it that way however I am a staunch support of the NRA, as far as keeping my membership and Range Officer stuff current, I like most of what the NRA does and I do an automatic delete on every junk political, super emergency, act-now, email they send once or twice each day, along with the weekly junk mail. Damnit, I live in a part of Texas where, at least for now, I am not worried about anyone taking away my guns that I might or might not have, my limited discretionary funds are spent on ammunition and range fees and not for political races for goobers I barely tolerate over the others I kind of detest.

  6. The lack of humor thing is touched on, but it’s important. Self righteous, Oh-So-Serious, easily offended puritanical scolds tend to lose culture wars. Because while they can’t laugh at themselves, everyone else will laugh at them.

  7. A straight ticket button? I recall seeing that as a throw lever back in PA as a child, but that doesn’t seem to exist in CA voting.

    Odd, I don’t recall anything about voting in NJ. Total blank. That’s probably an indictment of their politics, I think. They still hold the label of most corrupt state, right? What I do recall is a steady stream of governors going to prison, sort of a revolving door policy.

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