Ummmmm about my post of yesterday, I see this related factoid:
The number of old people being diagnosed with sexually transmitted infections is at an all-time high, figures have revealed.
Even people over the age of 90 are being treated for the illnesses, with dating apps, better health and drugs such as Viagra keeping them sexually active for longer.
Syphillis, one of the less common infections, was three times as common among over-65s last year as in the year before.
Meanwhile the number of people in the same age group contracting gonorrhoea more than doubled and chlamydia cases increased by 49 per cent.
Other infections included in the figures were genital herpes, which increased by 36 per cent, and genital warts.
Fucking Baby Boomers [sic]. The problem, and I speak as a Baby Boomer myself, is that when we were bonking like bunnies back in the late 60s and early 70s, everything was curable with a couple of penicillin jabs. Now: not so much.
That’s not an excuse for the above statistics, of course; it’s just an explanation. We Of That Generation were always a bunch of irresponsible idiots, and there’s no reason to think that we’d be any different in our jeans-wearing, grey-ponytailed dotage. As if I didn’t have enough to worry about already; now I can also look forward to a green, warty dick. How lovely.
I think I’ll just go back to bed and pull the covers over my head.
If you can’t laugh at this tragic tale, then you have a heart of stone:
A German woman who gave her lustful 73-year-old partner a lethal dose of sleeping pills to avoid his sex games and then kept his body in the bin has been jailed for seven years.
She admitted giving the pensioner the pills in June 2017 so that he would ‘be quiet and go to sleep,’ but denied an intention to kill him.
She told the court the pensioner’s sex games had become too much for her to bear.
According to the indictment, she failed to account for the quantity Viagra and the amount of alcohol consumed by Heinz, which enhanced the effects of the sleeping pills on the elderly man’s body.
Why didn’t she call the cops when she saw he was dead? You have to read the rest of the story. Try to avoid waking the other people in the office with yer ribald laughter.
And for those of you using Dr. Pfizer’s little miracle blue pills: be careful out there.
I read SOTI that there is a better-than-50/50 chance that the bloated and loathsome Hollywood mogul [some overlap] Harvey Weinstein may not be convicted for #MeToo DoublePlusUngood Sex Crimes after all.
I have no idea if this is true, of course, but should this happen, Evil Kim is cackling his ass off at the probable feministical reaction.
Hasten the day…
What women see:
“OMG, look how beautiful that sea is, and the islands are so romantic, and look! there’s a cruise ship out there, I wonder what the view’s like from the ship?”
What men see:
…and don’t try to deny it.
I always liked this guy, as much for his ability as his quiet, classy sportsmanship. And here’s further reason why I should:
Roger Federer has revealed that he refuses to sleep in a bed without his wife of almost a decade by his side.
The Swiss-born tennis ace, 37, who is widely considered the greatest male player of all time, admitted that his wife, children and friends come first, despite his passion for the sport.
In an interview with The Sunday Times, Federer explained that his wife, whom he married in 2009, and their two sets of twins, who are home-schooled, travel everywhere with him when he is on tour.
Gives new meaning to the term “family man”, doesn’t it?. And yeah, his massive income makes that lifestyle possible. Doesn’t mean I shouldn’t applaud him for doing the right thing.
Predictably, Ishmael has an even better (and funnier) take on Federer’s grace and class.
And just for a bonus: some Federer magic. Enjoy.
There’s this rather foul old aristocratic trot in Britishland who, at age 69, has declared that she has no interest in making whoopee with a man her own age, but would be quite willing to do the nasty with someone close to half that.
Granted, she was quite a looker in her heyday (around the time of the Normandy landings, that is):
…but alas, she is no fine French wine and has not aged well at all. Like most once-beautiful women, she’s carried the arrogance of beauty way past its sell-by date and now she’s just pathetic.
I have to ask myself a few things: firstly, what kind of 35-year-old man would even consider paging through the wrinkles to find her rather cobwebby Garden Of Delight; secondly, what narcissism allows her to think that she could set that demand and have it fulfilled, and thirdly, why doesn’t she get called a “dirty old devil” as an old man most certainly would if he announced that he was only only interested in jumping a college coed?
Ah fuck it, I know the answers to all three questions, and they’re profoundly depressing.
Most depressing of all, though, is that the old harridan has no shame in announcing all this to the entire nation on TV. One would hope that someone of her generation would have more manners, modesty or class, but I suppose that as the titled old bat has probably had more pricks than a pin cushion, she probably doesn’t care.
Actually, the reason she wouldn’t bonk a man of her age is that most of us would see through her bullshit and decline the offer, whereas some younger fool would be taken in by her title, celebrity and whatever other reasons why young fools bonk someone of their Nana’s age.