Category: Drive Time

Keeping The Old, Shunning The New

Drive Time

I’m smack dab in the middle of this trend (for a change — I’m usually lost in any trend’s wake):

Americans Delay Buying New Cars As Long As Possible To Avoid High Prices

The average age of cars and light-duty trucks on American roads has reached 12.5 years, according to a report from S&P Global, a phenomenon that comes as bottlenecked supply chains and elevated inflation continue their toll on households.

The financial analytics firm noted that 2023 marked the sixth consecutive year of increased average vehicle ages. The three-month rise between 2022 and 2023 constituted the largest year-over-year increase since the recession which struck the United States between 2008 and 2009, during which consumers likewise tightened their budgets in response to economic turmoil.

It’s looking increasingly like the Tiguan is going to be the last car I’ll ever have bought, unless some miracle occurs.  What sucks is that doing Uber (not an option at the time, by the way) made me put just over 100,000 miles on the car, which means it has a limited shelf life.  That 100,000 miles, in terms of my normal driving, was about 12 years’ life.  As things stand, the next few years are going to be a lot more tenuous.

Still, I’d rather just pay to get it fixed when things break than get a new car — see the post immediately below for reasons.

A Rental By Any Other Name

Drive Time, Fiscal Leeches, Two-Minute Hate

…smells foul.  Try this bastardy on for size:

The growing “features on demand” (FoD) trend in the auto industry is upsetting American car owners, who are growing increasingly displeased with having to pay for extra car features via subscription. 69 percent of respondents to a recent survey indicated that they would probably switch car brands if they were forced to pay monthly fees for features like heated seats.

As far as I’m concerned, they can take their “FoD” and “FOAD” (fuck off and die).

Of course, cars aren’t expensive enough, so the manufacturers have to find other ways to suck blood cash from their customers.

And they can’t be stopped:

Subscription fees have been incorporated into automakers’ financial models and projected future earnings. Wall Street analysts and investors believe these extra funds will increase future profits and stock prices.

So basically, we’re fucked, then.

Unless, of course, we don’t buy any of their cars or if we do, we shun those oh-so necessary doodads like heated seats, GPS and “climate control” (what we used to call heating and a/c).  Ditto “smart” key fobs and all the other useless and expensive shit that for some reason, we can’t seem to do without nowadays.

“Oh, you want a steering wheel with our new car?  That’ll be $75/month, because you don’t just get a wheel, you also get a built-in gear shift, controls for your FM-only radio, and a telephone (another $25/month for unlimited calls anywhere within your own zip code).  What’s that?  You just want a plain wheel, no extras?  How quaint.  Well, we don’t offer those anymore, on the advice of our accountants.  Now let’s talk about the monthly cost of ABS…”

Mother fuckers.  Motherfucking fuckers.

 

In fact:

Bygone Broads 2

Drive Time, Gratuitous Chick Pics

Last year, I posted the first of this series, in which I lamented the disappearance of beautiful cars and lovely women from teenage boys’ bedroom walls.  That post featured a couple Ferraris and Lucy Pinder.

Here’s another such coupling [sic].  First, two cars of the Corvette persuasion:

…and second, one of the pinups who might have appeared on the opposite wall:

As the old saying went:  “Farrah Fawcett:  creating pup-tents in teenage boys’ beds since the 1970s.”

And as an older woman:

No Cheating

Drive Time

Via email, Reader Jim L. took issue with me on this post (Tinkering With A Dream), saying, “That’s an easy way out.  Almost ALL old cars would be great with modern technology.  Which old car would you choose if you COULDN’T put in modern tech?”

Okay, challenge accepted.  Just to make things more difficult for myself, I’ve excluded the original E-type, Dino and Merc 300 from the choices because even in their original offerings, they would occupy the top three slots anyway.  Also, I’ve included reliability and (reasonably-) low maintenance in the criteria (so bye-bye to Alfa, Fiat, Lancia etc.).  But above all, the cars have to have charm, beauty and charisma.

Assuming then that the car was in its contemporaneous showroom condition, here are my Top 6 Old Dream Cars:

1958 BMW 507

No need to add or subtract anything.  The only reason that BMW didn’t flood the market with these exquisite cars is because of its exorbitant price ($98k in 2020 dollars);  but by modern standards, it would be a bargain.  Today, even a clapped-out old 507 will fetch well over a million spondulicks (which says it all, really).  It was, and is, one of the most beautiful sports cars ever made, and it’s noteworthy that the few secondhand models still around have very high mileage on the tach.

1956 Citroën Traction Avant 15/H
The pre-war models were admittedly underpowered (not for the time, though), but by the late 1950s its 2.9-liter six-cylinder engine was tops.  (The “H” in the description denotes that the car was fitted with Citroën’s hydro-pneumatic suspension, which made it the most comfortable ride back then, and maybe still even by today’s standards.)  The TA was and still is wonderfully reliable, and in this old Frog limo I’d tour the country — any country — without a qualm.

1967 Monteverdi High Speed 375
Let’s see:  Swiss steel and manufacturing, Italian styling and an American engine (to be specific, Chrysler’s honking big-block 7.2-liter V8 putting out 375hp).  Find fault with any of those, I dare ya — and the combination was (and is) irresistible.  The only thing I don’t like about the Monteverdi is that it came only with automatic transmission — but in a tourer, that’s not too much of a compromise, really.

1969 Mercedes 300 SEL 6.3
More power than anyone would ever need off a racetrack (yes, a 6.3-liter engine with serious grunt), matchless reliability (built back in the day when engineering was Job #1 at Mercedes), and classic good looks.  The 6.3 actually created the “high performance” category of large luxury cars, and it took most other manufacturers nearly a decade to catch up properly.

1965 Mercedes 230 SL
Okay, this one’s as much for New Wife as for me, but I’d still take one for myself in a heartbeat.  It’s not a performance car by any definition, but it’s quick enough, and comfortable enough, and reliable in spades.  And lest we forget, it looks classy and elegant.

1963 Porsche 356 C Carrera 2
The last of the 356 line before being replaced by the 911, this one had Porsche’s 2-liter flat-four engine.  What it also had (and has) is wonderful reliability and driving pleasure.  What it doesn’t have (or need) is power anything, electronics and all the modern and mostly unnecessary crap that makes my nose twitch.

So there you have it:  six old cars, unaltered, out of the box, no changes necessary.  I would take all of them, in a heartbeat, and if forced to take only one, I’d roll the die and be perfectly satisfied with whichever number came up.

Truth

Drive Time

Combat Controller sent me this little car review, and having once driven one in a long-ago life, I have to agree.

Quite possibly the greatest driving experience in my life, or maybe in a tie with my time in an Alfa Romeo Montreal.

But wait! there’s more — actually, MOAR.  Try the younger cousin of the Stratos:  the modern-day Kimera EVO37.

Have mercy.

Another Useless Law

Drive Time, Gummint

I think I’m correct in saying that alone among the lower 48 states (i.e. the ones which have interstate highways running through them), Illinois is the only one which still stubbornly enforces a 55mph speed limit on its various highways.  It’s a huge PITA — like so many things about traveling through Illinois — and we all know that it’s not just Sammy Hagar who can’t drive at 55.

Anyway, the lower speed limit didn’t seem to help much (if at all) a couple days back:

A fiery 60-car pile-up happened late Monday morning on I-55 in central Illinois. The horrific wreck appears to have been caused by loose dirt and high winds. Normally, dust storms connote the deserts of the Southwest, but the combination of dry conditions, loose soil from freshly-plowed fields, and high, gusty winds resulted in extremely low visibility which led to multiple collisions along the stretch of interstate south of Springfield, Illinois.

I’ve driven through this kind of dust storm before — the ones I hit in southern Idaho, South Dakota and South Africa’s Orange Free State and Karoo desert come to mind — and it’s no small danger.  Typically, I’ve driven at 10mph or slower under those conditions, the problem being other drivers, who seem to have sooper-dooper x-ray vision and don’t have to slow down until they collide with your car’s rear end.

The same is true of snow storms, of course, the only difference being that snow doesn’t invade every crevice in your car and cause you to choke helplessly while peering through the suddenly-opaque windshield.  Then again, you’re unlikely to freeze to death in a sandstorm, so I guess it’s a crap shoot.