Tag: Stupid people

Letter To Alec

The Gun Thing, Tragedy

Here’s an interesting headline:

The sequence of events on set that led to Alec Baldwin accidentally shooting and killing cinematographer Halyna Hutchins remains unclear but there are a handful of options.

…none of which are relevant.

Look, I know that Alec Baldwin has the mental capacity of a bag of cement, so all that follows below is wasted on him.  But here are the simple rules which, had they been followed in sequence,  would have prevented Baldwin from shooting an innocent bystander.  They are universally known to us serious gun owners as “Cooper’s Rules” (after the late and much-missed Col. Jeff Cooper):

RULE I: ALL GUNS ARE ALWAYS LOADED

Had Baldwin known anything at all about guns (he clearly doesn’t), he would have checked to see whether the round loaded in the gun was live or a blank (they look completely different from each other).

RULE II: NEVER LET THE MUZZLE COVER ANYTHING YOU ARE NOT WILLING TO DESTROY

Had Baldwin not been a complete tit (he is), he would also have made sure that the gun was pointed in a direction where no one was standing, or else told whoever was standing in front of him to get out of the line of fire, even if he had made sure the gun was loaded only with a blank.

Cooper’s last two rules are not relevant to this tragic story, but nevertheless, here they are:

RULE III: KEEP YOUR FINGER OFF THE TRIGGER UNTIL YOUR SIGHTS ARE ON THE TARGET

RULE IV: BE SURE OF YOUR TARGET

And that’s all that need be said.

Inexplicable

Wokism

Over There across the Pond, some people are getting all pissed off because a 300-year-old “shock jock” — apparently the Brit equivalent of Howard Stern [who?] — had the temerity to refer to TV Chef Gordon Ramsey’s plump young daughter, as she was competing in the ghastly “Dancing With Someone Or Other” Brit TV show, as “a chubby little thing”.  Here she is in the show, for reference:

Needless to say, all Steve Allen’s LGBTOSTFU co-workers are in a tizzy and want the man fired.

And as if that weren’t enough, some other fatties [not part of the show]  are testing the suspension system of the bandwagon by jumping on it, most notably this land whale:

…who invited Allen to “kiss her big juicy arse“.  (He won’t, of course, because he’d disappear in those vast wastelands quicker than Scott of the Antarctic.)

And all for telling the unvarnished truth.

Mencken’s Promise

Resistance

Over at Ace, there’s this little story:

Perhaps some of you more well-informed morons know about flying a black flag, but I had not. Fortunately, the stoopid article has an explainer:

According to the people on Tik Tok and the Sun (British tabloid), the black American flag originated in the civil war and was flown by the Confederates.
It means that they will not surrender, will not take prisoners, and are willing to die for their cause. It means they will execute their enemies.

Actually (says this well-informed moron), it originated during the 17th century.  Pirate vessels would fly a black flag to warn that they would take no prisoners, as a means to terrify the crew of the prey ship so they would surrender without a fight.

More recently, however, we have H.L. Mencken’s wonderful quote:

“Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.”

Note the “normal man” qualifier, because it’s important.  What Mencken means is that at some point even ordinary men will be driven to drastic measures, when their situation becomes too dire or too much for their patience to endure.

I see it as a warning rather than a threat.  Call it “free market research”.  And they should be glad that it’s only flags, as opposed to the sequel.

Anyway, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to a fabric store.

Market Response

Business, Gummint

This article is proof, as if any were actually needed, that the general public, very much including journalists and most politicians, have no clue when it comes to basic micro-economics:

Bus drivers have been flocking to jobs with haulage firms as HGV operators when companies were desperate and were handing out large signing on bonuses.

Like this should come as a complete surprise.  You have a heavy-duty driving license and are working as a bus driver, when an opportunity comes to do essentially the same job but for much, much more money.  What should you do, oh what should you do?

But let us never forget that a bad situation can always be exacerbated by government regulation:

They said the [public transportation] industry had put in place plans to hire new workers but said they were being put off due to delays in sorting licences.

…which delays are because of government red tape, as evidenced by the very next sentence:

The CPT urged the government to ensure training them was as ‘streamlined and efficient as possible’.

I’m sure that the government is getting right onto that.

“Dear George”

Grooming

…if your wife (the only good thing ever to come out of Afghanistan, btw) is all dressed up to go out to a formal family dinner, the least you could do is put on a fucking tie.

It’s not like you don’t know how, as evidenced here:

Idiot.

Not Another List

Travels

Fresh on the heels of the debacle of recommending New York City as a top holiday destination comes this attempt:

The coolest neighbourhoods in the world have been named by the influential Time Out guide, and Norrebro in Copenhagen has claimed the top spot.

I haven’t ever been to Copenhagen, so I can’t comment.  But given some of the other “cool” neighborhoods on the list, my only conclusion is that they’re either on the take, civic boosters, or haven’t actually been there since maybe 2005.  To whit:

#2:  Andersonville, Chicago.  When I lived near there, it was a nice place — just north of the summer bustle of Wrigley Field, I preferred going there in winter — but here’s the latest:

Come summer, Pride Month’s Midsommarfest celebrates Andersonville’s Swedish roots and LGBTQ+ culture. Make a flower crown or don a viking hat, taste Swedish delicacies, and rock out at the Pride stage.

That foolishness used to be confined to the neighborhood I actually lived in:  Lakeview a.k.a. Boys’ Town, where lots of single men lived in neat little apartments with their tiny dogs, and where clubs like The Manhole were the places to be seen.  So now it appears that the rot has spread further north, as these things do.  Pass.

#4:  Leith, Edinburgh.  It’s not bad, although I prefer Haymarket, which is less self-conscious a place (i.e. less precious), and should only be avoided on sporting occasions e.g. when Scotland is playing rugby against, well, anyone.  Okay.

#6:  Chelsea, NYC.  Oy.  To quote the article:  “Little Island, which is a new floating park, The High Line and Hudson River Park have all provided open space for people who needed it more than ever in 2021.”  All true, as long as you avoid the homeless encampments and accompanying discarded hypodermic needles, piles of human excrement and the most aggressive panhandlers in the world.  Pass.

#10:  Richmond, Melbourne.  Yeah right;  visit Richmond and get clubbed to the ground by the most aggressive and Covid-obsessed police force in the world.  Also (according to stepson, who once lived near there), it’s the most expensive place to eat or drink in Australia (“far worse than London”, was the actual quote).  Pass. 

#13:  Dalston, London.  I’ve only ever walked through Dalston, which lies more or less between Islington and Hackney (both haunts of the Tony Blair Set), but be my guest.  South Kensington is more my style, anyway.  Okay.

#14:  Silver Lake, Los Angeles.  Okay, Silver Lake is actually rather nice as it is a wealthy area and therefore pleasant to be in.  However, as with all good neighborhoods in LA, you have to swim through a sea of shit to get to the nice part, and I was last there in about 2007, so gawd knows what it’s like now.  Pass.

#18:  Villeray, Montreal.  Finally, a place I can recommend, if only to visit the Jean Talon Market at its southern corner.  Fine, it’s not the Old City (which is more French than many cities in France), but Villeray is wonderful, as is Plateau Mont-Royal just south of it.  Highly recommended.

Those are just the neighborhoods I know and have visited.  But once again, any list of top places that puts Paris’s exquisite Haut-Marais neighborhood at #36 (??!!) needs to be treated with some suspicion.

Feel free to browse the list and add your comments or recommendations.