Category: Crime

Good Return

Crime

As I get older, more cynical and less fearful of this Game we call Life, stories like this have a strange appeal — and not necessarily from good intentions, as you will see.  Here’s the executive summary:

Guy gets hired by a company, and over a period of nine years swindles enough money to fund a “fantasy lifestyle of Las Vegas and New York trips, stays in The Ritz and Savoy and Harrods shopping sprees”.

Thinking about it in the Murkin idiom, that would mean trips to London and Monaco, staying at the Ritz and Fairmont, and of course Harrods shopping sprees.   (The story also mentions that the man paid for house improvements, but never mind that nonsense.)

Which brings me to the point.  Eventually, the gravy train came to an end when Freddie The Fraudster was caught (ironically, through invoices for his house improvements), and he’s just been sentenced to five years in jail.

So let’s see.  If I somehow stumbled onto a scheme like this, I’d live the life of Reilly for nine years (taking me to age 77), and then get to spend my dotage (assuming I even got that far) in government-subsidized accommodation with free food and healthcare until I snuffed it.

Five years of boarding school in return for nine years of utter hedonism?

Granted, there are parts of this story that are truly reprehensible — such as the fact that this mope was hired by a good man who wanted to give him a second chance at life, and he repaid the kindness by stealing the company blind for nearly a decade.  That’s about as bad as it gets, and under those circumstances I would never countenance doing the same as the prisoner in the dock.

But if I could do the same while being employed by a wealthy stranger (or even better, Global MegaCorp Inc.)…

Not to mention:

Don’t even talk about it.

Unfortunately, I have a conscience, and her name is New Wife.  So none of that’s gonna happen.

Remote Silliness

Crime, Drive Time, Technology, Two-Minute Hate

It’s a well-known fact that if a criminal scrote wants to get into your car, he will.  But why make it easier for him?

Got a car with keyless technology? It’s twice as likely to be stolen: Insurer reveals changing face of motor theft as brazen criminals shift tactics.

This is one modern geegaw I’ve never understood the need for, let alone wanted in my car.  What is so difficult about inserting a key into the ignition and turning it, that you have to make it “wireless”?

Of course, there’s this:

  • Price of electronic starter fob when added to your car’s selling price:  > $300
  • Price of metal key:  ~$1.

Fuck ’em.  If I ever get a new car (highly unlikely), the first thing I’ll have done is get the fob disabled.  And if it can’t be disabled and is the only way to start the car, I’ll get another car with a fucking metal key.

This has nothing to do with a resistance to change;  it’s resistance to pointless, expensive and unnecessary change.

Next:  electronic handbrakes.

Not Really Voluntary, Is It?

Crime, Government Thugs, Rights, Two-Minute Hate

Here’s one which makes me believe that some cops need strangling:

Sussex Police has threatened a women right’s group founder with a hate crime arrest after a rally two months ago where her group was attacked by pro-trans activists.  The force told mother-of-four Kellie-Jay Keen an allegation made about her that she used ‘words or behaviour to stir up hatred on the grounds of sexual orientation’ was now being investigated.

In an extraordinary phone call released by Standing For Women founder Kellie-Jay, one officer said she could be arrested if she did not attend a ‘voluntary’ interview.

In the first place, it’s a bullshit charge (except that it’s in Not-So-Great Britain, where it’s legal), and in the second, just about any judge in the civilized world should throw this nonsense out the back door, with prejudice.

But apparently calling militant trannies a bunch of sickos is A Bad Thing, so Our Heroine will doubtless be walking the plank soon.

No wonder the Brits ban ownership of AK-47s, because in cases like this…

Hatchet Job

Crime

From Indefatigable Reader Mike L. comes this sorry tale:

A Florida man was arrested for attempted murder after a woman was transported to the hospital with a hatchet protruding from her head.
According to the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office, deputies had responded Tuesday at around 10:30 a.m. to an attempted murder.
Deputies located the woman, 56, with a hatchet protruding from her head. She was rushed to the hospital with life-threatening injuries.
The wannabe-axe murderer had fled the scene of the attack before deputies arrived. Detectives found his vehicle later that day in Gainesville, Florida.
And just before 3 a.m. on Thursday, the scumbag was pulled over by an Alachua County Sheriff’s Office deputy and taken into custody. He was then transported to the Alachua County Jail, where he was tied to a chair so that the deputies could play Whack-A-Mole on his head with their night sticks for a few hours.

Okay, parts of that report may have been ummm  embellished a little.  But I know y’all would have wanted it to end that way.

Street Takeovers

Crime, Good Stuff, Law and Order

Reader Mike L. sends me this heartening news:

Dangerous street takeovers are happening more and more often in Oklahoma City and across the nation, which is why an updated city ordinance is cracking down on large groups of people who illegally block intersections, roads, or parking lots. Street takeovers can include street racing, or can simply involve participants using their vehicles to block intersections while they take over the area with friends.

Not only do illegal takeovers increase crime, they also block medical responders during emergencies.

The updated ordinance includes vehicles being impounded for 90 days, while participants can be jailed for 60 days, as well as face fines of more than $2,000.

My only suggestion is that the towed cars are taken not to impound lots, but straight to scrapyards where the car crushers are waiting.  To paraphrase Samuel Johnson:  nothing concentrates the mind more than an imminent crushing.

And the fine takes away the deposit for a replacement.

Simple Solution

Crime

Then we have this lovely little tale:

A 15-year-old boy has been locked up for 15 years for murdering a father of three who was stabbed to death on his doorstep after confronting a gang who verbally abused his daughter.

The teenage killer, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was ‘out of control’ when he murdered stonemason Jamie Markham, 45, after spending days shouting and swearing outside the victim’s home in Chingford.

He had been caught in school with a knife when he was 12 and Mr Markham believed the boy, then 14, and his friends had broken into the shed at the back of his flat in Old Church Road, where he kept his tools.

His killer was well known as a trouble-maker and had wrecked the local branch of Morrisons by hurling red wine and eggs down the aisles.  He was caught on video spitting in his mother’s face and breached a criminal behaviour order five times by being in the area where he killed Mr Markham.  He has appeared in court 12 times and been convicted for 22 different offences since June 2020, when he was 13.  His previous convictions include battery, criminal damage, using threatening, abusive words and behaviour, sending threatening messages and theft.

I have a simple solution for this kind of thing.

The evil little shit should be hanged in public (not hidden away in some prison), and the gallows should be set up right in the area where he and his little friends terrorized the residents.  The body should be left dangling for a week.

That would take care of his worthless ass, and it might make his gangster buddies think twice about perpetrating similar shit in future.  (And if it doesn’t, repeat the process until they all get the message, or they’re all dead.  Either outcome is acceptable.)

None of that will happen, of course, so the Reign of Terror will continue.