Worn Out

I see that aged author Jilly Cooper has thrown in the towel, so to speak, when it comes to writing her bonkfest novels.  Actually, it’s kinda sad:

The 86-year-old, who’s known for her light-hearted take on erotic fiction, confessed that penning her new book, Tackle!, was much tougher than her others because she’s not that interested in sex any more.

The British author, who lost her husband Leo ten years ago, and said writing hot scenes to satisfy readers was harder than people think. 

She told Good Housekeeping magazine: ‘I’m 86 now and have forgotten how to do it! 

‘It’s quite difficult to write sex scenes – you can’t go on finding ways to do it differently.’

Well, yes — it’s the same thing about having sex itself:  once you’ve gone through the Kama Sutra and gone around the clock face a few times, it is a little difficult to imagine new ways of putting it together, so to speak.  Hence, I suppose, why people do things like threesomes, sex parties and affairs, not to mention going over to the Dark Side and exploring things like BDSM and bonking those of Tender Years.

Writing it is even more difficult.  I once wrote an entire erotic novel, the sex scenes strung together with only the flimsiest of common threads, and by the end of it — after a massive sex orgy — I had the “hero” of the story get married to the only woman he hadn’t managed to seduce.  I think he was as tired of fucking around as I was.  (And no, I haven’t published it, and probably won’t, even though it did receive rave reviews from a select few beta testers, as it were.)

Anyway, ol’ Jilly’s sex scenes were quite racy for the times in which she wrote them — good grief, over thirty years, it’s a miracle she can come up with a different plot, let alone yet another different way to describe the insertion of Tab A into Slot B (as Sarah Hoyt so delightfully puts it).

But if the old pen is starting to droop with over-use, there’s unfortunately no Writer’s Viagra to come [sic] to the rescue.

Writing about sex is about as ridiculous as having it, at age 86.


  1. Oscar Wilde observed that positions 47 and 115 of the Kama Sutra were the same except in 115 the woman had her fingers crossed.
    One wonders how it felt different.

  2. According to some old joke, by that age sex with your spouse is mainly limited to mutually muttering “fuck you” as you pass each other in the hallway.

  3. A woman is a woman until the day she dies; a man is a man only as long as he still can.
    Moms Mabley

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