Month: June 2023

Travel Advisory

Africa

…not that any sentient human being should want to visit the continent, of course, but just in case you have to (business etc.), please note this little snippet put out by someone or other:

I don’t know what criteria were used — most likely, violent crimes per capita — but what strikes me most is the absence of Mogadishu from the list.  And as for 6 of the top 10 being in South Africa… ask me again why I left.

*Rustenburg is a town of over half a million people, northwest of Johannesburg on the way to the gambling mecca of Sun City.  In the early 1980s our band played a residency at another resort hotel nearby, and even back then we avoided the place.  It’s also the center of the platinum supply (over two-thirds of the world’s platinum is refined there).

Pietermaritzburg has the ironic nickname of “Sleepy Hollow” — clearly, that’s no longer the case — and it’s where New Wife used to live as a young schoolteacher.

Cape Town is generally regarded as the “safest” large city in Seffrica LOL.

Beautiful to look at;  but the closer you get, the worse it becomes.

Don’t get me started on Johannesburg.

Sucker Bet

Marketing / Advertising

I recently received an email from GlobalBankingMegaCorp congratulating me on my “new” credit limit increase — said increase no doubt being fueled by the fact that I haven’t charged anything on their poxy card for over six months and have instead been paying down the balance.

Then, lower down, there was this lovely little incentive to spend more with them (note the sting in the tail):

LOL they must think I was born yesterday.

Childish Games

Freaks & Loonies, Marxists

Ever notice that it’s almost always Leftists who indulge in silly-ass actions when they see something they don’t agree with?

Rhode Island State Senator Joshua Miller, 69, a Democrat representing Cranston and Providence, has been arrested and charged with Vandalism/Malicious Injury to Property.

He is accused of deliberately defacing another man’s car because of an anti-Biden bumper sticker on the vehicle.

Miller denied causing any damage to the vehicle and alleged that the car’s owner had followed and verbally threatened him. Miller further speculated, “I am a state senator. I think he recognized me. I think he is one of those ‘gun nuts’.”

Note the classic misdirection ploy.  Didn’t work.

Isn’t this Lefty tool a little too old to be playing these silly games?  Apparently not.

I think the car owner deserves to get a complete new paint job, payment to be taken directly from the old asshole’s personal checking account.  Of course, that won’t happen because Rhode Island is a seething hive of wretched scum and villainy of the “progressive” variety.

Or he could just endure a public flogging — essentially, a spanking for a childish misdemeanor to make the punishment fit the crime — but no doubt someone’s going to have a problem with this suggestion.

Euphemistically Speaking

Grammar Nazism

Whenever I see a euphemism, it sets my teeth on edge — probably because as a plain speaker, I try to follow the late Roger Moore’s dictum that the essence of communication is to express your thoughts as clearly and succinctly as possible.

Here’s one that made me chuckle, however:

…you mean “sucked into”, of course.  “Ingested” means taken or introduced into the mouth — one ingests the milk from a glass, or the medicine from a teaspoon, etc.  Also, “ingest” is largely a transitive verb, in that it requires an agent to perform the action — turning it into the passive voice, as here, actually implies no agency — except that as we all know, jet engines “ingest” air in order to propel the aircraft body.

But the writer of the above wanted to try to avoid using the graphic word “suck”, and so resorted to a woolly euphemism.

This is not a hanging offense, of course, but a simple ball-kicking should suffice.

Si, Ragazzi!

Drive Time

Finally, a bit of good news:

Fiat has confirmed it has stopped producing cars in one particular colour – not due to a lack of demand from customers but because it doesn’t represent the brand’s ‘New Dolce Vita’ values, the Italian firm said.

And that offensive color?

As of today, the company will no longer sell grey cars.

Oh, be still my beating heart.  And why not grey?

Fiat said the decision has been made to ‘enhance the importance of colours in life, embodying the Italian way of living’.

Let’s be honest, I don’t think anyone associates the color grey with Italy or Italians.

If grey can be associated with any nation, it has to be Britishland, mostly because of their gloomy weather but also because of their instinct for self-effacement and distaste for anything that reeks of “flashy”.

And right on cue:

But the move could significantly backfire when it comes to demand for new Fiats in Britain, with grey being the nation’s most popular car colour for half a decade.

Ugh.  Enough of the gloomy greys, say I, and let’s get back to some… Italian colors.

 

Yeah, that’s more like it.