Lessee… we’ve had cars and guns so far today. What’s missing?
Here’s Brit ginger actress Amy Nuttall:
That’s the trifecta.
Tomorrow we will continue with the Usual Programming of insult, invective, hate speech, threats of violence and anti-government ranting.
Oh wait, tomorrow’s Friday. Never mind.
…an Internet “Best” list I actually agree with, 100%.
Okay, if pressed, I think that Eddie’s “Eruption” is just a long jam, and if really pressed, I’d suggest Eric Clapton’s solo on the Beatles’ While My Guitar Gently Weeps could be included.
Feel free to suggest your alternative — but you only get one.
Here’s a headline which will make you do something:
But here’s the punchline:
A guest, who endorsed the marriage, said the marriage came about due to a longstanding custom mandating that the priest marry a virgin. He revealed that there are currently no virgin girls in Nungua above the age of nine.
What was that saying about Africa winning? Oh yeah… well, read all about it.
Warning: contains the name “Gborbu Wulomo Nuumo Borketey Laweh XXXIII”. (Strange way to spell “child molester”, but there ya go.)
From Hugh Grant’s mother:
“All Englishmen are permanently two gin and tonics under par. They need two gin and tonics to become human.”
So… I’m English, then? I did not know that about myself.
And speaking of which:
...frankly, if you’re over 50 and still need to be taught about safe sex, you deserve to have your naughty bits rot.
More Health News:
…
And in Economics News:
...and in other news, Gen. G.A. Custer is having issues with the Sioux.
...unexpectedly.
In related Global Warming Climate Cooling Change© News:
...unexpectedly again, as pounding hailstorms have never been seen before in Texas. [eyecross]
Time for some Easter Festivities:
...as long as the crucifixees are Commies and Greens [some overlap]. we should import that custom to the U.S. immediately. I have a list...
In Sex Wars:
...assuming, of course, that he can put up with all your vapidity, sophistry and childish behavior.
...and just a quick reminder of why:
Moving on to Train Smash News:
...can’t see the problem, as she’s inflicted her offensive music on us for all these years.
And from the cabin of Captain Obvious:
...two words: three strikes.
Also:
...in which we play our popular “Guess The Race” game. Can’t guess?
…quelle surprise.
In matters of 
And in Entertainment News:
…and the world mourns.
And in Sporting News:
I know, I know: “But when’s she going to show us her jugs?“ Read more
“Dear Dr. Kim:
“I’m an elderly actor, and I’m told that I’m still quite ‘hot’ (whatever that means) and certainly, I seem to have no problem attracting women, in many cases a lot younger than myself.
“In fact, that seems to be my major problem. Many years ago I was more-or-less happily married to a woman who was also quite ‘hot’ — I certainly found her to be so, which was in no small part why I married her — and we had two sons, both now in their middle age.
“The problem really is that when I was a young man, I was quite certainly attractive to women not my wife, and I strayed quite a bit, so to speak, when opportunity presented itself.
“Anyway, when I confessed my indiscretions to my wife, she tossed me out and divorced me.
“All that’s in the distant past, and I’m happy to say that we have remained friends despite all that trouble.
“I kind of wish that I hadn’t got divorced, in fact. While I’ve had no end of willing bedmates since…
“Dr. Kim, what’s your take on all this?”
— Dancer, London UK
Dear Dancer,
Your problem is not that you strayed; hell, when faced with a plethora of warm, moist and willing female pudenda, few men are able to resist that siren call.
Your problem — a rookie mistake, in one of mature years — is that you admitted said indiscretions to your wife. Now that that bullet has passed through the church, so to speak, it remains only for your mistake to be made known to other men, and here’s the advice:
Never, ever admit to your spouse that you inserted your phallus into any extramarital orifice. Unless you are actually caught in flagrante delicto — and by that, I mean in the very act of making the beast with two backs (as a former Shakespearean actor, you are no doubt familiar with the source of the expression) — no man should ever admit to infidelity.
Of course, with modern technology, such a denial may be impossible — ask ex-President “BJ” Clinton — and if the doxy gets pregnant, the same technology may also compel an admission and doom your marriage.
But otherwise, keep shtum and deny, deny, deny. Ignore the advice of (mostly female) agony aunts that you’ll feel better after you’ve got things off your chest or “come clean” [sic]: you won’t, as you discovered. If the conscience thing is that strong in you, the time to exercise it is prior- and not post insertion.
— 