5 Worst (Other) People To Think Of While Having Sex

Everyone’s been there (don’t even think of denying it):  you’re making the beast-with-two-backs with your honey and unbidden, someone else pops into your mind.  Here are the five worst / most inappropriate of such, ranked as always in ascending order of foulness:

For the ladies:

  • the Dalai Lama
  • Alan Alda
  • Woody Allen
  • Bill or  Hillary Clinton (tie)
  • Bruce Jenner

And for the guys:

  • anyone from Jersey Shores (the TV show or  the place itself)
  • Milo Yannopoulos
  • your ten-year-old stepdaughter
  • Maxine Waters
  • Caitlyn Jenner

Your suggestions in Comments… when you’ve stopped throwing up, that is.

5 Worst Things To Hear As You’re Going Under Anesthetic

Ranked in order of horribleness:

  • “I think he’s unconscious… oh what the hell, go ahead and cut.”
  • “Wow… I need to tell my wife to book that Caribbean cruise;  this is gonna take a LOT longer than I thought.”
  • “What’s the world record for stretching an anus?”
  • “Oh boy, a naked unconscious woman on a table… it reminds me so much of high school.”
  • “Wait a minute;  I know we scheduled a tonsillectomy, but it says ‘Gender Reassignment’ on her chart here.”

Your suggestions in Comments.