Monday Funnies

So let’s dive into the waters of comedy for some relief…

And speaking of which, here are some ladies that I bet a lot of men would like to fertilize:

…although to be fair, Carol Vorderman is well past the fertilizing stage.  Her factory floor has long since turned into a pleasure palace, as my friend Patterson used to say.

So finish your breakfast cocktail and get outta here.

Classic Beauty: Patricia Morison

She was a world-class mezzo-soprano singer who starred in fourteen hundred (1,400) performances of Cole Porter’s Kiss Me, Kate  Broadway musical, starting with its very first opening;  she was beautiful, with a deep, velvety speaking voice, and 5’10” tall.

So Hollywood had no idea what to do with Patricia Morison, and cast her mostly in B movies, usually playing the female villain.  Harking back to the previous paragraph, she was once replaced on set by Veronica Lake, because Lake was a full foot shorter than her, and the male lead was the dwarfish Alan Ladd (let’s hear it for the casting director!).  Playing noveliste  George Sand in 1960’s Song Without End, her voice was overdubbed with another actress’s voice because her own voice was judged “too deep” by the studio.  Couldn’t win for losing.

But enough of all that.  Here she is.

You can’t see it in the above pics, but Morison also had startling blue eyes, a fabulous figure and 39″-long hair.

And as a perennial baddie, you just know she had to have a gun about her:

Patricia Morison died in 2018, aged 103.

More Rebuilds

Continuing the thread from a couple weeks back, I saw this pic:

Ford Super Deluxe Woody (1948)

…and immediately wanted one, provided that it had modern suspension, wiring and brakes — i.e. so it would run about as well as a modern car.

This made me look through my rather extensive album of car pics to see which others would qualify (short answer:  most of them), but here are my absolute winners:

Alvis Speed 25 (1939)

BMW 328 (1938)

Hudson Deluxe Eight (1935)

“Jaguar” SS 100 (1937)

I think I’d first have to have wider tires on all of them, but as for styling… whoa.

If you want to show me which your favorites would be, send me an email (with or without pics) and I’ll post the best ones.

Now Is The Time

I have a (very) Longtime Reader whom I’ll call Mary, with whom I’ve had multiple friendly communications over the years.  Indeed, when there was that gun shortage last year, I helped her get her grandson his first .22 rifle for Christmas.

What follows is a tale of outrage.

A long time ago, Mary married a man I’ll just call Evil Bastard, had kids with him and later divorced.  He ended up buying a house in Texas, and when he was diagnosed with cancer, his (and Mary’s) daughter Kristine and her family looked after him, moving into his house, helping with the household expenses and even filing as HOH in their tax returns.  They did this for a number of years, during which time their own kids grew up in Evil Bastard’s house.

Evil Bastard responded by allegedly sexually molesting Kristine’s daughter (Mary’s granddaughter) over a period of years, until age 13.  When Kristie and her husband discovered this, they called the cops on Evil Bastard;  the cops found the allegation plausible, and Evil Bastard was charged in court.

Here’s where it gets even worse.

Upon bonding out of court, Evil Bastard filed suit to have his daughter’s family evicted from his house.

So they’re appealing that filing — it is, after all, as much the family’s home as it is his — but they need help with legal costs.

The hearing takes place next Wednesday June 29th.

Please, please help this family out by going to their GoFundMe page and donating.  This is not a stranger’s family;  this is the family of one of this website’s Loyal Readers needing help, and I hope that we can rally around.  I’ve met Kris, and she’s one of the world’s decent people.  She does NOT deserve what’s happened to her, and of course her daughter doubly so.

As for Evil Bastard… well, the less said, the better.

I know that times are tough, and money’s tight.  If you can, spread the news outside this website to friends and family, your own private mailing lists and so on, so as many people can help as possible, spreading the load, so to speak.


Remember the old (not so funny) joke:  “If guns are banned, can we use swords?”

Seems as though the Kiwi criminals and sickos, like their Brit compatriots, have taken this to heart:

Four people have allegedly been stabbed after a knife-wielding man went on a rampage on the beach in New Zealand.
The rampage is believed to have come to an end after a local construction worker hit the alleged stabber with a walking crutch.

My takeaway from this is that had I been the construction worker, I’d probably have beaten the scumbag to death, thereby becoming the bad guy.

Here’s a graphic account:

One woman had headed down to the beach to take her dog for a walk when she was confronted by the man and his ‘big knife’. She said the man had started walking towards her but then broke out into a run.
‘And – fight or flight – I turned away and ran the other way and I looked back and he had a big knife, running at me,’ the woman told the NZ Herald. ‘I was screaming, calling out for help because he was chasing me with this big knife.’
The woman managed to get away from the man unharmed, and immediately called police.

The police arrived far too late to do anything of value, of course, because by the time they got there Our Hero had stopped the attacks.

It would have been far easier for the woman above just to pop a couple of .45 bullets into the goblin’s chest, of course, but the Kiwis aren’t allowed to do that. It seems that for the New Zealanders and their elected politicians, the alternative — helpless victims slaughtered — is preferable.