Have Mercy

Longtime Reader Brad_In_IL sends me a link to an article about “tennis” influencer Rachel Stuhlmann.

Who she, you ask?

Now I put “tennis” in quotes because as far as I can ascertain, there are no pictures or videos extant of her actually playing tennis.

Not that I care.

I also have no idea what, exactly, this young thing (31) actually influences, but again, I don’t care.  Whatever she says is fine with me.

Rear View

The problem with all this self-promotion on Teh Intarwebz nowadays is that people — young women especially — have no clue about how to present themselves to the camera.

Marilyn Monroe, for example, was told early on in her career that she had an unattractive full smile (her teeth were a little too big, and a “big” smile showed her upper gum):

…which is why, in just about every MM pic, you only see half-smiles, or else head-thrown back poses (which foreshorten the teeth and hide the upper gum):

She had someone helping her with her image, you see.

All this came to mind when I saw some nameless Insta-Tok hussy posing as (I think) Mrs. Claus:

…which is fine, I guess — but is completely undone by the next pic, taken from the rear:

Awful.  Had the photographer had any idea, he’d have changed the shot — had her bend forward slightly, maybe, to tighten the saggies.

No clue, any of them.  Compare and contrast:

…’nuff said.

Admission

Okay, we all know that Shania Twain is a Total Hotty.

But ii shames me to admit that although I know who she is, I wouldn’t be able to hum or even name any of her most popular songs, even if you held a gun to my head.

Of course, I’m not exactly in her target market, musically speaking.  (Or in any other way, come to think of it.)