Stuff that makes me laugh
Yes, yes, I know… but now it’s getting serious:
Weird creatures flocking to Brit beaches as UK looks ‘more like the Med’
Or maybe it’s an influx of Russian sunbathers, such as the Midi is experiencing:
It’s an easy mistake to make.
You’ll have to follow the link to find out what the creatures actually look like — but by comparison, they’re not too bad.
Whenever I see a euphemism, it sets my teeth on edge — probably because as a plain speaker, I try to follow the late Roger Moore’s dictum that the essence of communication is to express your thoughts as clearly and succinctly as possible.
Here’s one that made me chuckle, however:
…you mean “sucked into”, of course. “Ingested” means taken or introduced into the mouth — one ingests the milk from a glass, or the medicine from a teaspoon, etc. Also, “ingest” is largely a transitive verb, in that it requires an agent to perform the action — turning it into the passive voice, as here, actually implies no agency — except that as we all know, jet engines “ingest” air in order to propel the aircraft body.
But the writer of the above wanted to try to avoid using the graphic word “suck”, and so resorted to a woolly euphemism.
This is not a hanging offense, of course, but a simple ball-kicking should suffice.
And speaking of guns:
...or it might be time for Tulsa to trade this asshole for someone who actually supports the Second Amendment.
In Pervo/Groomer News:
...and why are we just not surprised by this?
...Idaho? These sick fucks are everywhere.
But finally, a voice of reason rings out:
...and so say all of us.
RAAYYYYYCISM ALERT:
...in which we play Guess The Professor’s Race — and for a bonus, its sexual inclination.
In Entertainment [sic] News:
...from Britishland, where politicians routinely interfere in places where they have no business. Not that we have any room to talk, here in Murka.
...clearly not (see next item).
...is there any form of stupidity (e.g. Communism and now Global Cooling Climate Warming Change) that ol’ Hanoi Jane won’t support?
And from our International Desk:
...keyword: Japan.
…keyword: Australia.
...may be the winner of the “Most Fucked-Up Headline Of 2023” competition — but it’s still only June, and Biden’s still in office.
And speaking of that, more (link-free) INSIGNIFICA:
...and knowing Gwynnie, it’s of her stanky love tunnel.
...who she? We’ve seen her here on these pages before — and a reminder:
Oh yeah: her. And the “breathtaking” outfit:
A tasty end to the news, yes?
So blowing up the week with Teh Funneez…
And speaking of those things:
Now get off your ass, and go to work. It’s Monday, FFS.
Ah yes: let’s play “mock the Southerner”. Then again, rather them than the Juneteenth celebrants.
...and for once, playing “Guess The Race?” is completely redundant.
Our new feature, Anus News:
...as the next item will reveal:
…
And speaking of assholes:
...he should have charged them with theft, or shot them on site. See the link for details.
Some Pervert News:
...actually, no. We really, really hate you.
...I think “Hang The Groomer” should be part of every right-thinking curriculum.
...see above.
Some news from the Bureaucracy:
...clearly, the local government doesn’t have enough to do — which, if you’ve ever been to Galveston, you’d know isn’t true. Everything that’s wrong with government is contained in this report.
International News:
...frankly, I’m amazed at their restraint.
...ah yes, the argument between the Gourd Group and the Sandal Followers rages on, yea unto the 21st century.
...shoddy reporting. Was it a hatchet? a logger’s axe? or did the shithead go Full Viking? Whatever, the KiwiGov is going to doubleplus ban it. I think that all restaurants should be closed, to end this vicious cycle of mass attacks on diners. (What? it’s the same argument they use for guns.)
...I first read that as “Anal sex”. Never mind; carry on, nothing to see here.
And speaking of stuff not worth seeing, how about a little INSIGNIFICA:
...sexist bastards.
In in our Paige Three section, someone not Spirinac:
And away we go down the road, putting all this behind us.
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