Some timely thoughts for the week:
And some sunbathers’ NSFW pics to brighten your day:
Tag: Humor
Stuff that makes me laugh
News Update
And more from the Stuff That Can Kill You Dept.:
…
...well, you can fuck right off, scientists, because earlier on you told us that a glass of wine will stimulate your heart, prevent scabies and end the spread of Communism.
And now from the Global Cooling Climate Warming Change© Dept., Everybody Panic!!! Office:
…
But it’s not all bad news in this area, because:
...federal “bailout” funds coming in 3…2…1...
Then again:
...so if you can’t terrify us into submission, you want to imprison us? Okay Bernie, my old comrade: might as well start with me. You Commie motherfucker.
From the Foreign News Desk:
...yeah, they don’t need to import spaghetti because they already have noodles.
...she prolly got sick of all the rent boys coming over to their house all the time.
...doing the math, that works out to being raped once every 5 days (kinda like being married, really, except for the “coercive” part).
...errr can anybody point me to those people who love paying rent?
In Political News:
...I took the word “alleged” out of the headline because we all know that there’s nothing “alleged” about it.
Obituaries Etc.
...the anarchic “Pee Wee’s Playhouse” being still the best kids’ TV program ever.
And now, time for INSIGNIFICA:
…going the Full Monty?
And in TV News:
...no idea who she is, but let’s investigate:
And some other views:
Okay, I’d classify her bod at “mildly sensational”, but not bad for someone knocking hard at the 40 door.
Cleans up pretty well, too — well, as much as any of these houris can “clean up”:
And thus, we come to the end of the news.
Invitation
Found recently in my Inbox (right-click to embiggen):
I know these things are all bullshit — but what if it wasn’t, and I went?
Suggested speech topics in Comments, please.
Caption Competition #291
Your suggestions in Comments.
Green Is Good
…or not really, as The Greatest Living Englishman explains:
DEFENCE chiefs announced this week that British soldiers could soon be given electric bicycles so they can sneak up more quietly (and cheaply) than if they were in a tank.
Yes. But have you ever tried to ride a bicycle in soft sand? Or in a bog? It’s impossible.
So if stealth (and savings) are the main consideration, I have a better idea. Why not give them horses? They are extremely good off-road and won’t short out if asked to cross a river. Plus, most cost much less than a £6,500 e-bike and if properly trained, can move around very quietly indeed. Also, you don’t need to charge up their batteries every half an hour.
And then we could go further and, instead of guns, which are noisy and also expensive, issue our troops with swords.
It’d be the most eco-friendly and modern army in the world.
And it’d lose every single battle it took part in. But in these green and cost-conscious times, it seems that sort of thing doesn’t matter.
FFS, don’t anyone tell the Pentagon about this.
News Roundup
And speaking of rancid and toxic women:
...just the kind you’d want your son to bring over for Thanksgiving, yes? Also, keyword: Michigan.
...that’s okay; when you share custody, you can feed the kid steaks, meat pies and sausages all you want on those weekends.
In Lawn Awduh News:
...hell of a sentence just for shooting a cop who was already dead. Uhhh wait a minute...
...why bother, when the fix is already in?
...that’s not quite what the original headline said, but you get my drift.
...in which, once again, we play “Guess The Race” of all the participants in this ghastly little situation.
...key word: Florida — no wait, California. Hadda be one of them.
In Medical News:
...wait: gout in your cock? What new hell is this? And in the same vein [sic]:
...the one time I think “over and under” would be preferable to “side by side”.
From the Global Cooling Climate Warming Change© Dept.:
…
From the Dept. Of Tourism:
….funny, I thought that was every Italian city, but I haven’t been there for years.
From the Sports Desk:
...that would be me with baseball, and I’m not even a hermit.
Time for no-link INSIGNIFICA:
...no, I don’t understand any of that either.
This just has to be pissing off somebody somewhere (no link):
...can’t see why, myself.
And that’s the news.