“Dear Dr. Kim:
“I’m an elderly actor, and I’m told that I’m still quite ‘hot’ (whatever that means) and certainly, I seem to have no problem attracting women, in many cases a lot younger than myself.
“In fact, that seems to be my major problem. Many years ago I was more-or-less happily married to a woman who was also quite ‘hot’ — I certainly found her to be so, which was in no small part why I married her — and we had two sons, both now in their middle age.
“The problem really is that when I was a young man, I was quite certainly attractive to women not my wife, and I strayed quite a bit, so to speak, when opportunity presented itself.
“Anyway, when I confessed my indiscretions to my wife, she tossed me out and divorced me.
“All that’s in the distant past, and I’m happy to say that we have remained friends despite all that trouble.
“I kind of wish that I hadn’t got divorced, in fact. While I’ve had no end of willing bedmates since…
“Dr. Kim, what’s your take on all this?”
— Dancer, London UK
Dear Dancer,
Your problem is not that you strayed; hell, when faced with a plethora of warm, moist and willing female pudenda, few men are able to resist that siren call.
Your problem — a rookie mistake, in one of mature years — is that you admitted said indiscretions to your wife. Now that that bullet has passed through the church, so to speak, it remains only for your mistake to be made known to other men, and here’s the advice:
Never, ever admit to your spouse that you inserted your phallus into any extramarital orifice. Unless you are actually caught in flagrante delicto — and by that, I mean in the very act of making the beast with two backs (as a former Shakespearean actor, you are no doubt familiar with the source of the expression) — no man should ever admit to infidelity.
Of course, with modern technology, such a denial may be impossible — ask ex-President “BJ” Clinton — and if the doxy gets pregnant, the same technology may also compel an admission and doom your marriage.
But otherwise, keep shtum and deny, deny, deny. Ignore the advice of (mostly female) agony aunts that you’ll feel better after you’ve got things off your chest or “come clean” [sic]: you won’t, as you discovered. If the conscience thing is that strong in you, the time to exercise it is prior- and not post insertion.
— 
…quelle surprise.
