News Roundup

(the first of our Christmas ads for the season)

And off we go.


...sounds about right.  The pity is that the kid will get charged with murder instead of getting a pat on the back for vermin removal.


...is anybody surprised by this?

From the Department of Education:


...get ’em young, honey, go to jail.  Also, keyword:  Arkansas.


...does anyone think that an application of Hammurabic Law would be excessive?  No?  Me neither.


...so one assumes that if a bunch of angry Jews were to disrupt Eid that they’d get the same treatment?  LOL


...keyword:  Turkey.  And now it’s a heavenly body… anyone?  Bueller?


...Go Navy.


...should have fired back.


...actually, he got fined for tossing a brick through her window.  What’s not surprising is that she wants him back.  It’s a lovely story.


...key word:  Russian.


...I got nothing.  Not even a link.


...sheesh;  when even the world’s most clueless woman gets it right, you have to know.


...if you’re going to do something like that, you have to pick the best-lit ride in Disneyland.  And he did.

And now:  INSIGNIFICA!!!!

...as once again, we see the perils of letting Spell Check edit your newspaper.

Finally, in Hottie News:


...of course she looks incredible:  she’s Monica freaking Bellucci, FFS.

Then and now, exquisite.

Breakfast gin, Kim?  I think so.

Brilliant Deception

Okay, go ahead and judge me, but I howled with shocked laughter when I read this little tale:

For months my boyfriend led me to believe he was busy caring for his elderly mother – but she’s been dead all along and his lies were a front for him having sex with another woman, and living with her.

Sometimes, you just have to tip your hat to a master.

Playing Field, Leveling Of

NASCAR fans or non-Formula 1 devotees can skip this post.

Consider the final standings for the 2023 F1 season:

 

If that looks like a runaway train for both Max Verstappen and Red Bull, then it was.  Verstappen won 19 out of the 21 races of the season, and Red Bull’s Perez won one.

Which has led to an interesting game among fans, thinking about leveling the field, so to speak, for the 2024 season.  Here are the favorites:

  • Level the driver playing field and find another Perez-level driver for Red Bull to replace Max.
  • Force Max to wear an eye patch and strap one arm to his leg.
  • Force Red Bull to use Trabant engines. (“Then they’d only come 3rd.”)
  • …and Reliant Robin 3-wheel technology.  (“Okay, 4th.”)
  • Fire Max and sign Daniel Ricciardo.  Or Logan Sargeant.
  • …and so on.

Let’s see;  only 90 days till the new season begins.

In the meantime, there are the college football championships and the Super Bowl… which I care about as much as most of you care about F1.

News Roundup

Let’s start off with some MuzzieNews:


...get used to it, fuckers.


...damn, a few pretty ones in there, too.  Amazing what losing the black sack will do for a woman.

In Global Warming Climate Cooling Change© News:


...wait:  wasn’t this supposed to have happened in 2015 already?  Oh wait:


...anyone else confused yet?  This might explain the following item:


...no wonder they lost their empire.

From the Department of Health:


...seven?  I can think of a dozen, without even trying.  See next item.


Time for some news of the Great Cultural Assimilation Project:


...mind you, the Irish have needed something to riot about since the Troubles ended.

Not to be confused with this lovely story:
...and if he does, the people responsible for freeing him should be jailed, or worse.


...that’s no way to talk about Mounties.


...it’s known as “The Crime Of The Century” by just about every Chicagoan.  Like substituting Burger King for Lawry’s.


...see, under the old Evil Apartheid Regime©, he’d have been dead for about nine years already.


...WTF is a dog influencer?

Time for some Nookie News:


...Rule #1 for threesomes:  don’t use cheap condoms, and nobody’ll get pregnant.


...we know, we know:  if you’re a guy, it withers and drops off;  and if you’re a chick, it grows closed.  Doesn’t everybody know this?

And now, it’s time for INSIGNIFICA:

...sheesh, Ozzy;  I’m pretty sure your sex has been well-driven by now.

Finally, there was some unimportant awards show in Britishland, and was attended by the Usual Sluts & Harlots:


Salma wasn’t there, but what the hell:

And that’s it, for the news.  Oh wait, there’s one more commercial:

Certain Truths

Over the past couple of days, I’ve seen a couple of things on the Knuckledragger’s website that just make me nod my head at the truth of them.  Here’s the first, which I’d actually seen before — with a caption:

The caption?

“Every time I see this gif, all I can think about is:  child molesters.”

The other one, which also holds universal wisdom, is less radical but sage nevertheless:

Is there a man alive who would go rummaging around in his wife’s or girlfriend’s bag?  Speaking for myself, I just hold the bag as in the pic, and hand it over without saying a word.

When asked why, I make a flippant remark like “I thought I heard some hornets buzzing around in there”, or “No no no, there are things with sharp teeth in there”.

And you know what?  I don’t think I’m wrong, either.

No man should.