These are the authors who are lionized by the Terminally Pretentious Set, for whom “literary” (a.k.a. boring) writing is met with squeals of delight every time a new offering from the authors below is published. Ranked in ascending order of awfulness:
- Nicholas Sparks — essentially the same story, rewritten twenty times (and counting)
- Annie Proulx — hates her own character creations, and despises her readers as well
- Ayn Rand — okay philosopher, terrible writer who should have written textbooks, not fiction
- Thomas Pynchon — writes the most turgid, unreadable prose of any author in the modern era
- And special mention: Marcel Proust — wrote the most turgid, unreadable prose of any author before the arrival of Thomas Pynchon.
Your suggestions in Comments.
I was banging a Persian girl for a while. When we would get sweaty from sexing I swore she smelled like lawnmower exhaust. It had that oil burning with gas mixture kind of smell. I think it may have been from her diet. Now whenever the neighbors are mowing the lawn I get a massive erection. I wish that last part weren’t true. F*** you Pavlov.
I don’t know what gets me more: the tangential reference to Pavlov, the body odor of lawnmower exhaust, or the word “sexing”…
For the ladies:
- The Honorable Member:
- Best Presidential Candidate Evah:
- Emmy Winner:
- Speaker Of The House:
- Manchester pop concert souvenirs:
…and for the gentlemen:
- Serial Molester:
- Serial Molester (option 2):
- Girly-man Cyclist:
- Olympic Gold Medalist:
Your suggestions in Comments, as usual.