Heroic

Just when you thought that the Stout Bulldog Spirit had left Britishland forever, comes this little tale (from back in 2018, as it happens):

Married at First Sight star David Pugh single-handedly fought off a gang of five machete-wielding robbers using his martial arts skills after they broke into his home.
The thugs burst into the 56-year-old’s home, demanding cash and attacking Pugh’s teenage son and a 20-week-old puppy.
The reality star was left covered in blood after courageously fighting off the masked men – who were armed with baseball bats and golf clubs as well as machetes – with his bare hands.

And the picture is not a good one:

While his great big brass balls are not pictured, I think we can all give him a round of applause.

But I know that all of you are thinking that had Mr. Pugh been allowed the use of, say, a Colt 1911 or similar, it would have been a far better outcome for all concerned (except for the choirboys, of course) in that the blood splatter would have belonged to the goblins rather than to Our Hero.

And we could have inducted him into the Dept. of Righteous Shootings — International Division, rather than just applauding his outstanding bravery.

But this is Britishland, where he would have been more likely to face arrest for causing a public nuisance or bleeding without the proper permit.

[10,000 words of angry invective deleted]

Dept. Of Righteous Shootings

This from Florida, where people seem to forget that everyone has a gun, even (or maybe especially) convenience-store clerks:

The Miami Herald reports that the man, 34-year-old Stephon Brown, allegedly entered the Valero at about 5 a.m. and “pulled out a gun to rob the place.” The clerk responded by pulling his own gun and shooting Brown multiple times.
Brown was able to run out of the store and cross the street before collapsing in front of a McDonald’s.

We will now have a brief pause to allow the applause, cheers and catcalls to subside… nah, the hell with it.  Go right ahead.

Wizard

I saw an article which mentioned a man named Karl-Heinz Rumenigge (pronounced Room-in-nigga ), and I had a good chuckle at the memories the name evoked.

Back in the 1980s, Rumenigge was West Germany’s chief striker in their national football team, and he’s ranked 26th in the Top 50 World Cup Footballers Of All Time.  (The list includes Pele, Maradona, Cruyff, Messi, Yashin and Zhidane, so we’re not talking mediocrity here.)

I used to love watching him play, but not for the usual reasons.

You see, outside the penalty area, Rumenigge was hopeless:  he’d get the ball in the midfield, then trip over his own feet and fall over, or kick the ball into touch unintentionally, or pass the ball to the opposition, or kick one of his own team’s players accidentally — there was no telling how badly he could screw up.  (I exaggerate, of course, but only a little.)  And he had the worst hairstyle in football:

But when he got a sniff of the ball in the opponents’ penalty area:  GOAL.  Almost without fail, there would be a goal, whether by a thunderous shot which made the goalie look foolish, or by dribbling it past three defenders before netting the ball, or back-heeling the ball through a forest of legs, or poaching a loose ball anywhere within ten yards of the goalposts;  whatever it took, Karl-Heinz would get the job done (video).  At his club Bayern Munich, he scored 200 goals in ten years, and playing for Germany, he scored 45 goals in ninety-six matches, including a hat-trick during the 1982 World Cup.

By the way, he’s no dunce:  nowadays, Rumenigge is the Chairman of Executive Board of FC Bayern München.  And he has a better haircut.

Applause

…for the pub owners involved in this little hoo-hah:

AN “obnoxious” group of drinkers were branded “entitled little toddlers” by a furious pub owner after they complained about staff online.

…and you must follow the link to enjoy the whole thing fully.

What amazes me is that the complainers aren’t a bunch of youngins, who as a group have been known to behave appallingly (I speak from experience);  instead, they were people in their 40s and 50s., celebrating someone’s 50th birthday.  Read the owner’s description of the night’s festivities, and marvel at the staff’s restraint.

Me, I would have tossed their uncouth and un-mannered asses out onto the street probably about half an hour in.

Dept. Of Righteous Shootings, International Division

From sunny Seffrica comes this lovely story.

Executive summary:  three choirboys run into a church waving guns and try to appropriate the entire congregation’s cash.  Only problem:  the church in question is located in a deeply conservative part of the country, and one of the congregants is an ex-cop.  Result:  two choirboys dead, one possibly wounded.

You may now applaud.

And from the comments to the article comes this priceless observation:

Note the upvote : downvote ratio.