…and we’re not talking about the sad, trendy youngins who look sad, feel sad and listen to sad music. No, we’re talking about the people (of all ages) who are inspired by the gothic novel form, as seen in Bram Stoker’s Dracula. And where else can one indulge one’s inner Goth than in the town which inspired it all?
When it comes to dressing up in costumes, I’m all for it. Many’s a costume party I’ve attended wearing Viking dress (complete with battle-ax and horned helmet), or a Roman toga, or a Fifties-era outfit, or a French military uniform from World War I (to name but a few of the personas I’ve adopted).
My rule of thumb: when it’s a party, it’s fine. When it becomes your lifestyle, then it’s fucking pathetic.
Wherein I summarize the news of the recent past. (Warning: I’m in an irreverent mood today…)
1) TV presenter gives up booze — and becomes the world’s most boring woman. (Caution: link contains Piers Morgan.)
2) Gang-rape victim reports crime, gets raped again by a cop — guess it just wasn’t her day, was it? (Come on: it happened in Pakistan, that bastion of civilization where all women are revered.)
3) Dallas gang beats up trannie — guess the race of the attackers… nope, ’twasn’t Muzzies; not this time, anyway.
4) Notre Dame Cathedral destroyed by fire — I guess the BVM was busy doing something else at the time, huh? (I warned ya.)
5) Rich farts in CT can’t sell their houses at inflated prices — ‘cos all the would-be buyers have fled to low-tax states already.
6) Naked stabber killed by security guard — wait, McDonald’s has security guards now? Oh yeah… southern California. Never mind. And finally, from the Department of Good News:
7) Hollywood sees revenues plummet — see pic above.
Even though it’s only Monday, it’s never too soon for the wheels to come off:
So it’s time to laugh instead, in an automotive kinda way:
…and to make us all feel better:
Here’s a list of the world’s major international airports, voted on and ranked by over thirteen million travelers on a combination of (among others) amenities, cleanliness, shopping, ease of movement, and passenger treatment:
1. Singapore Changi Airport
2. Tokyo International Airport (Haneda)
3. Incheon International Airport
4. Hamad International Airport (Doha)
5. Hong Kong International Airport
6. Central Japan International Airport
*7. Munich Airport
*8. London Heathrow Airport
9. Narita International Airport
*10. Zurich Airport
13. Taiwan Taoyuan
*14. Amsterdam Schiphol
16. Shanghai Hongqiao
*22. Cape Town
25. Cologne / Bonn
26. London City
*30. Paris Charles De Gaulle
34. Seoul Gimpo
35. Madrid Barajas
*36. Atlanta Hartsfield-Jackson
*37. Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky
*38. Houston George Bush
41. Haikou Meilan
45. Gold Coast
46. Bangkok Suvarnabhumi
*48. San Francisco
50. Toronto Pearson
54. Kuala Lumpur
*55. London Gatwick
*56. Dallas/Fort Worth
63. Moscow Sheremetyevo
*71. Los Angeles
72. Beijing Capital
73. Stockholm Arlanda
*74. New York JFK
*77. Minneapolis St.Paul
80. Moscow Domodedovo
*81. Boston Logan
*82. Rome Fiumicino
*85. Houston Hobby
86. Hanoi Noi Bai
87. Abu Dhabi
*92. Detroit Metropolitan
*96. Chicago O’Hare
Source: Skytrax World Airport Awards (and asterisks indicate that I’ve been through them myself, some admittedly a while back)
- I’m told that anyone who has been through the top 10 airports with any frequency (e.g. Mr. Free Market) will be unsurprised by those rankings. I’m only surprised by Munich’s #7 ranking — I found it quite ordinary, but it’s been over a decade since I was there so maybe it’s improved.
- Excluding JFK, most of the U.S. “international” airports aren’t really that — they handle way more domestic- than international flights, so they’re light on amenities and shopping (compared to Heathrow and Singapore, for example, where international flights comprise probably 90% of the total and long waits for connecting flights are the norm).
- The numbers are not weighted by airport size or traffic, which is why some of the Third World airports (e.g. India’s) are ranked where they are.
- I’m amazed that JFK is ranked as high as it is. For all its pretensions to being a world-class city, New York’s Kennedy and LaGuardia are Third World airports — in fact, they’re worse than that — and not one person I’ve ever spoken to (including New Yorkers) has ever taken issue with me on that comment.
- Unless Bangalore has been rebuilt since I’ve been there, I cannot believe its ranking. Ditto Johannesburg’s O.R. Tambo, which is a nightmare, and Charles De Gaulle in Paris. All of these have set some kind of record for staff indifference to passengers’ needs.
This is one-time supermodel (and still-gorgeous) Helena Christensen, from Denmark:
…and this is one-time model and current actress Diane Kruger, from Germany:
So the question of the day is: Apart from modelling, what do these two examples of extreme pulchritude have in common?
Answer: Both women have had children fathered by Norman Reedus.
Let that sink in for a moment… and for the math geeks among you, here’s the diagram:
Still in math mode: Q.E.D.
Yes, as promised a couple weeks back, it’s time for this website’s annual face-first plunge into the trough of Train Smash Women at the Aintree races over in Liverpool, Britishland, which started today. And how better to begin, than with these creatures:
How about a group pic:
…and all these pics were taken before the pubs opened. And then they did:
All that said, it was a little windy:
…and rainy (because duh, Liverpool):
But why should I have all the fun to myself? Hie thee hence to the today’s report, and enjoy the sights. Just remember: tomorrow (I think) is Ladies Day.
I can’t wait.